Am I doing the right thing!?!?!?!?!?! Please answer. Thanks!?

Question

This is very long. But I would really appreciate it. Im in a very bad state at the moment. Your HELP is greatly needed. Thank you.

Five years ago...

I was in Grade 7 when he was in Grade 11. I knew him as he was the soon-to-be-graduate and 1 of the cool dude in our school. He was also in my brothers class. They were not really close but just classmates and would say Hi and...

Few months ago...

I finished my Grade 11 and am waiting 4 college. Im doing this part-time job as an interviewer and I met him there after 5 years. He didnt recognize me but when I told him abt my brother he was like 'Oh, you are his sister!' Its like a call center where I work and we sit together. We gradually got really close. We call each other everyday after work or on weekends and talk for hours. We text non-stop. Before we sleep and when we wake up in the morning. The problem is that he got a GIRLFRIEND. They are not on good terms and on the verge of break up but he wouldn't as she threatens to act stupid. Like DRINK and SMOKE her a$$ off. And he doesn't like that. He cares about her, obviously. We have kissed and we make out when we get the chance. Nothing more than that. He and his GF wouldn't talk for days and haven't met each other for weeks now...

He has been with her for about 2 years now. And he had given her a diamond necklace for her birthday a year ago. He is 22. He says that I mean alot to him... And he would love to be with me. I have waited for 2 months and we are still there. He didnt do anything abt it. I have talk to him abt it. Told him that we cant go on like this but... What do I do? How do I behave with him??

He says that I mean alot to him. He said im really nice and he would love to have a wife like me. He is planning to buy this really expensive digital camera for me (HK$2000) but I said no I cant accept something like that... He calls me such sweeet names. He takes me out for the movies, starbucks most of the times. Spends alot on me and he says I deserve all this. I asked him what I really mean to him and he said he doesn't wanna tell, he wanna keep it to himself!

His girlfriend knows nothing abt me...

I told him to either pick me or her and he said its YOU. I pick you. He never said he loves me but he said he have feelings for me.

But then he wouldn't break up with her.

But RECENTLY:

We have been just ignoring everything and have been like CLOSE FRIENDS... Its been quite long since we met but we talk on the phone everyday. The thing is that he talks to me whenever he gets the chance meaning not talking to his GF but me. I might mean more than her to him, right?

A few nights ago...

We went talking abt these things again... I asked him wht I really meant to him and he said he just cant tell me. I know im special and I mean alot to him. But I wanna hear it from him.

I asked him If I should move on and he said its UP TO YOU. He said why do girls think its necessary to have a guy all the time. He said if "you moved on than I will know I never was special to you."

He even said he doesn't see any changes in his life with him and his GF. The way he say they are is neither ON nor OFF.

I asked if he like 'me being his date' or 'me being a good friend'. He said he likes both.

I am just so confused. I told him I feel like im a 'tissue' being used by him and now thrown. He got really pissed off and hanged up the phone. He text me and said he doesn't llike me saying all this. I didn't reply and he called at 2:am to say sorry...

Im went to work YESTERDAY and it was his 23rd B-day also. I gave him this 4 pages long letter that I wrote. I told him about my feelings... Im a very honest person I say whatever there is in my heart. I told him that Im attracted to him and stuff.

I also told him that i've already given him enough time and that he might still be in love with his GF. I said im moving on. Im 4getting him.

And i gave him this RING I bought for HK$118 and I said that this is to pay back for all that he had done for me. I thanked him for everything and told him that hopefully he'll remember me...

He was happy abt it. And later he texted me saying ' Thanks so much for d ring nd letter I appreciate it means alot nd yes u'll always be rememberd soniyo(that's what he calls me meaning 'beautiful')'

I was acting very professionaly with him and was giving attention to other guys instead of him. And I could tell that he was pretty jealous.

[Deep breaths]

Ok...

So, am I doing the right thing? And what could that SMS exactly mean?

Thank you once again.

Answer 1

well he seems to be a bit of a player. He shows that wh will cheeat on his gf if he is given the chance. He used u since u sort of liked him a few years back. He i think is just buying his love from u.

I thin u did the right thing. Stay away from him. I do not think he actually loves u. It is easy for me to buy gifts for u and say i love u but it will only show through actions if i truely love u lol

Answer 2

You are definitely doing the right thing.  Jealous or not. He wasn't willing to give up the girlfriend totally for you. That should have sent up a red flag right then and there.  Why would he give up anything when he was getting his cake and extra icing too, so to speak.  I know that it is hard especially when you truly have feelings for him.  In time, things will get better.  Good Luck

Answer 3

You should take a step back and let him fix his issues with the other girl.  If he really wants you he comes back as a freeman and ready to built a nice relationship with you.  You need to stay calm and act professional with him, don't should him that you are crazy about him that way he gets rid of the other girl and comes to you.

Answer 4

Think about it, he obviously cares about the girlfriend more than you, your just his bit on the side. Leave it.

Answer 5

this is way too cute, but in a way you did the right thing but then in a way you didn't, wait a little bit just to see what he is going to do about his x or whatever,i understand he cares but d**n that ain't his responsibility.. good luck =)

Answer 6

I think you are doing the right thing moving on, things didn't look like they were going to change between you guys as far as going to the next level (him breaking it off w/ his current girlfriend)

Answer 7

u should definately move on and date other people. I think I did the right thing by being honest and putting ur feelings out there. but this guy is not for u. remain professional. let him miss u. but never let him back into ur life. he will only hurt u

Answer 8

Oh no, this is a hard situation, and I understand you must be going through a lot and Im sorry, but please please please respect yourself to move on and PLEASE find someone that respects and cares about you enough and absolutely doees noottt have a girlfriend, that is just sick on his part and selfish.  You have so much to offer someone who is single and can give you the world, I know its hard when you feel for somebody, but move on, he doesn't deserve you!

Answer 9

This guy is a jerk.  If he doesn't understand why a girl wants to have a guy, then why is he so against dumping his girlfriend?

You're being used.  He said he wants a wife LIKE you, not you for a wife.  He doesn't want to leave his girlfriend because he loves her; he doesn't love you.  You mean a lot to him because you're willing to help him cheat on his girlfriend, and I suspect he thinks he'll be able to have s*x with you soon.  All he's doing is making you feel special so that you'll do everything for him -- and you already have.  You bought him a ring, you treat him well ... and what do you get?  NOTHING.

It's time to move on.  He's not worth your time, your effort, or your love.  Give it to someone who will actually give it back.

Answer 10

It sounds like he is okay with ending it with you.

You need to move on hun, this guys doesn't know what he wants and he is being unfair to you.