Am I entitled to a little holiday romance?

Question

Due to an unfortunate accident involving a falling cupboard, my wife finds herself unable to accompany me on a World cruise in just three days. Now, as disappointed as I sound, the side-interest rather keenly replaced the vacancy with immediate effect, and in a twinkle of an eye found myself in a precarious and delicate situation. As although my directives on menial chores are very clear whilst gone, the wife continuous to challenge my decision. I explained, she had a turn last year 'fairs fair' and all that.

However, I found the Mistress in a terrible state early hours this morning, insisting on leaving a day early, she even had a tear forming, and just for a moment nearly had to wipe it away. I would like to gauge an opinion on how to handle the situation, as I assume many of you have experienced similar teething problems?

Answer 1

What the he**? You disgust me in every possible way! Do people like you ask these questions and expect some real guindance with your ignorance. Grow up and stop hurting your wife. Or at least tell her its over you found someone else. You poor excuse for a man.

Answer 2

No sir, you are not entitled. Hopefully though, you may be entitled to a refund, either in full or in part.

PS you probably dumped that cupboard on her yourself.

Answer 3

what? lol have a good holiday... DELUDED ?

Answer 4

How very dare your wife question you old boy, the very idea makes my moustache quiver with rage! If this wife of yours finds it amusing to throw herself under falling cupboards she should suffer the consequences and keep a dignified silence with regards to your holiday arrangements. Tip top.

Answer 5

ew you are a creep.

Answer 6

Being such a kind gentlemen to your wife, mother in-law and staff I think you are entitled to some of life's pleasures.

Answer 7

Yep! I would have to have you shot or make sure you travelled on the next contrived Titanic style disaster :)

Answer 8

The appropriate action is to take the wife and a nurse to take care of her, then get a separate state room for your mistress.  That will keep you in good faith with both plus it will allow you to double your pleasure with the nurse also.  Good luck.

Answer 9

My dear Blackadder, as a married man certainly you realize that from the moment you said "I do" you were no longer ENTITLED to any romance whatsoever, let alone on holiday. However, as wild-spirited as you are, I'm just as certain that you will manage to get this romantic getaway somehow. I suggest you start out by requesting that your wife's physician prescribe her some very strong medication for the pain she must be in from that cupboard accident. That should keep her down & out - if not sound asleep - long enough for you & your mistress to make your escape. As for the mistress, buy her a small but lovely going away gift - maybe something she can wear in the evenings - and tell her you are leaving immediately. That should put a stop to any of those almost-falling tears. You will have some explaining & wiggling to do with the wife when you return, unless of course your servants keep her on the pain meds the entire time you're gone & then she won't even notice you've been away. I hope you enjoy your holiday - but then you always do, don't you?