Am I evil for thinking foster care is better than having my daughter placed with my cousin?

Question

My cousin constantly lies about me to keep my daughter in her custody. She told DFS that I was planning to kidnap my daughter to make me lose visitation. Additionally she has played psychiatrist and told DFS that my disorders do not exist and that I have other disorders that don't apply to me. She kept DFS from getting guardianship to my brothers in South Dakota in order for my daughter to have time with my dying mother (who she was very close to) while I made sure my disorder was under control by telling DFS that none of my family wanted her back there (a total lie). DFS did not follow up. She also lied and said I attempted suicide in front of my daughter three years before. Didn't happen. Someone told my daughter not to talk to her therapist about family things (it was blamed on me, but I'm sure it was my sister). I feel that this is so detrimental to my daughter. She's being told horrible things about me and I even refuse unsupervised visitation because I want our visits recorded.

Answer 1

For one thing you live in America for a reason... FREEDOM OF SPEECH...  I think that foster care would be an excellent idea.  Having your child live with your cousin sounds like you cousin will have your daughter against you..  Just because you have Bipolar doesn't mean that you are a bad parent..  Putting your daughter in a foster home will also give her the freedom with other kids and in a better background where family memebers won't put down her daddy.  I wish you the best of luck..

Answer 2

Actually, thats not a bad idea since from what I read in your questions so far, your sister is a sadistic, manipulative and selfish person. As long as you meet the foster family that she will live with to find out if the foster parents are good people, and don't forget that your daughter may have to live with several other kids and teens.You should check them out as well. I have a prof. whos mom lives alone and has decided to share her home with foster kids. This one kid is a complete selfish little jerk. He got angry at my prof.s'  mom and he beat himself up and then called the cops. When the cops came my prof. arrived at her mother's home she started talking to the kid and the cops told her to stop talking to the kid but all she is tryng to do is to help the kid. She told the cops, " fine you want me to stop talking to the kid go ahead and take him out of my mothers home right now, the cops didn't say a word after that, haha. Well anyway, my point is that as long as your daughter is a sweet kid most foster parents would love to take her in.

Answer 3

not at all if ur cousin cant b trusted she is not a good role model at least if ur daughter goes to a foster family they hav been checked and its very rare that u get a bad family do wot ur instincts say

Answer 4

wow i would try to completely cut off any kind of communication with her. i really dont know what to say. im not really down with the foster care if there are people in her family that could take great care of her though. i would much rather be with my family that is good to me instead of a foster home. you should make it your number one goal to prove youre fine to take care of her and get her back. and DONT stop until you do. good luck

Answer 5

Bipolar is treatable, you'll have your daughter in your house soon. A foster home doesn't seem like a bad idea. She'll be in a home with people who will actually care for her.

Your cousin seems to have a serious mental problem herself. You gotta tell DFS your side of the story. Your cousin seems to be jealous too. Like I said before, tell DFS what's the real deal.

Keep trying to get your daughter back! Don't stop fighting for her! Also, use anything against your cousin to help get your daughter back in your hands.

When your at your cousin's house, videotape what they do on a camera and pretend you're taking pictures. That will help ALOT. And buy two sandisk memory cards to have more space to make more videos. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 6

I don't think that is evil. I think a person who loves their child, wants them to be in a healthy environment with people who will care for them. It may seem evil to some, but I guess those people have never had to worry about a child they love being cared for properly. I have more respect, for example, for a addict who has put their children in the care of people who will see that they are well taken care of, than an addict that says "At least I haven't lost MY children", but neglects or even abuses them. If you ask for your child to be put in foster care then good for you for doing whats best for your child.

Answer 7

I wouldn't leave her with your cousin but I wouldn't put her in foster care if you don't have to do you have any other family members that are willing to take care of her because if you do then please let them take care of her

Answer 8

Talk to social services - they are there to help!!!

Answer 9

Sounds to me like you are doing the right thing by insisting on supervised visitation. If you haven't already get yourself a lawyer. And no it doesn't sound wrong to want your daughter somewhere else other than your cousin's. Your daughter just needs to know that you love her and as soon as you are ready, you will get her back.

Answer 10

put her up

Answer 11

Is this the same relative that took things from your mom before she passed away ? I think you need a lawyer, I don't think you are evil at all you obviously have had a hard time lately and in some aspect I can relate ,I have a friend who tried to get custody of her step- grandchild last year and we went to court etc. and D.C.F.S. was involved ,I don't trust them,I don't think they are thourough enough in their investigations ,they placed the little girl with a family that had 14 foster children and were in it for the checks they recieved for each child  which turned out to be the fosters only income sans foodstamps WIC .They eventually found that the little girl was mildly retarded and was banging her head against the floor, could'nt talk or walk was'nt potty trained and she was 3 ,they removed her from the home and she is now at a safe loving foster home,I guess my point is you love your daughter I am sure . Just be sure where she is is a safe place and NOT WITH YOUR COUSIN,she seems like the evil one to me I imagine the money the state would pay her is her motive .as for your illness ,I have epilepsy and have been judged poorly many times because of it ,I take several meds. including topamax which is also for bipolar disorder  and it seems to help my siezures ,but some meds do affect  my personality on occasion ,I think you should get med. records  to prove your condition , talk to your family see if one of them is willing to go with you or write a letter, or a  phone call ,to back up your claims ,I wish I had a really good answer for you but I don't. I do wish you much luck you've been through a lot  lately . the one person this is hurting more than anyone is your daughter, is she old enough to say where she want's to be ? has dfcs talked to her?