Am I fooling myself to think I can reinvent me?

Question

So, I'm presumably smart-IQ around 140-but I am dumbstruck when it comes to getting myself out of this rut . Was always suppose to do something big and wonderful with my life-instead have done many, many small and wondeful things-some off the wall-others genuinely cool. Instead of becoming a career woman or bestselling author or curer of cancer- I became a stay-home mom of three lovely children. Have always been plagued with bouts of depression, but always managed to get on top of it. I worked part time, started a business, was a freelance writer and other odds and ends at different times during their childhood. But now, for the most part they are grown. I'm not getting on top of my depression and I'm feeling like I've wasted my potential. 50 is around the corner and a short skip down the block- though between back, hip, weight and depression problems I feel more like 60. Am I fooling myself to think I can reinvent me?

Answer 1

Well of course not. You can do anything when you put your mind and determination to it.

Answer 2

yes, raising 3 children is a helluva jobl Congrats! It is harder than any bussiness accomplishment.

Answer 3

It sounds as though you have achieved an enormous amount so far in your life. You have a lot to be proud of :-)

Medication can definitely help some people get back on their feet if you feel your depression is severe. Most antidepressants take a few weeks to kick in and can even make symptoms worse to begin with, so be patient if you decide to take them. Also you don't need to stay on them forever, if you're worried about that. Counselling may help too. And have you sought help for your back and hip problems? Looking after yourself physically will have a significant effect on your mental wellbeing.

No, you are not fooling yourself. 50 is an ideal time to renew and 'reinvent' yourself if you want to. Something I've learned is not to put things off or worry too much about not doing things in the past. If you want to do something, start it now - otherwise you might only regret it again ten years down the road.

Lots of people dream of curing cancer or suchlike, but only a tiny tiny few make amazing medical discoveries or suchlike. Don't beat yourself up about that! :-) The problem I've always had has been in deciding what I really want to focus my efforts on. Is there anything you're REALLY interested in, that stands out? Writing? Write that novel. Or something completely new? Go back to college and retrain. On one of my courses there were quite a few women and men around 50, or older.

All best wishes.

Answer 4

It's never too late! Life is way too short. You can do whatever you want, so do it! Go for it girl!

Answer 5

No, you can't "reinvent" yourself.

You are not tabula rasa.

Depression makes people feel tired, yet its eminently treatable with the right pharmacotherapy.  Once treated, you will have more energy and better concentration.  Ask your doctor.

*Nope, easier said than done.  Especially if you don't get the depression treated; it will continue to drag you down - forever if you let it.  The older we get the more we become 'creatures of habit'.

Answer 6

Of course you're not fooling yourself.  People reinvent themselves every day.  You may feel old, but you're actually relatively young, and I'd bet that if you got to feeling better physically and mentally, you'd feel younger, too.  And don't discount the value of raising, as you say, three lovely children.  That is a huge accomplishment.  If you were able to do that, you can do whatever else you put your mind to.  Just take one thing at a time and don't give up!

Answer 7

No, you're not. There are plenty of older women who have been in this situation and have found ways to deal with it. You could re-start your business or take up writing again, or take classes in whatever else interests you.

Answer 8

I ran into someone I knew from "before" - they thought - as I guess others did - that I would end up dead or doing life - instead - Ivy league - dad - Boy Scout leader - Of course you can make the relatively minor changes you want - you still have plenty of time also.

Answer 9

Sounds like you need a good long holiday. You have earned it. Be proud of your hard work and achievements. Take time out to  find out what your next phase of life will consist of. What you would like to achieve, would like to do then go at it with full vigour.

Yes you can reinvent yourself. We are remarkably adaptable creatures. You don't start from a blank slate but you can take the building blocks of your life and rearrange them into a different more fulfilling structure.

I myself have always been most happy and contented when fully engaged in activities that I enjoyed.

You are a very capable person who isn't making full use of her abilities this is causing your depression.

Look for activities that fully utilise your abilities and pursue them with full vigour