Am I foolish to have believed???

Question

that if I raised my children with every ounce of effort, love, guidance, nurturing, encouragement etc, etc, etc... with a good balance of respect and privacy, they would grow up good and decent? that they would actually grow up to love and respect me?

Please... I did not post this for comic relief. Kind, honest, and serious answers only.

Answer 1

Not foolish at all

Answer 2

In short, yes.  Children are going to grow into the people that they want to be, not the people that we think we can make them.  It is our job to teach them right and wrong, not to tell them that we're sorry that little Timmy stole their lunch money.  It is our job to support the decisions they make and the paths that they choose, not to force them down our path or to belittle them when they make a choice that we disagree with.  You can love and nuture your children until you're blue in the face.  You can encourage them and guide them every hour of every day.  Ultimately, they will walk their own path and be their own person.  And now, respect that.

Answer 3

Sounds like you did/doing it right.  Have faith!

Answer 4

No, your not foolish. That is what all good parents hope for. Unfortunately, it just doesn't always work out that way.

Answer 5

You loved your children 'unconditionally' then so i hope you can still do it now, even if they aren't being respectful, loving, etc...

Our children can be our greatest teachers, even if they rebel from our expectations of them.

Just remember this will pass...  

Answer 6

I would say thats true,,

but some parents think that the statment you made means believing everything your kid says, letting him/her whatever, and spoiling him/her.

Answer 7

Why is it in past tense? Im asuming it didnt work out. Look, all that is what a good parent does. But not a disciplining parent. A parent that disciplines isnt afraid to give their kids a butt-whopping! Doing that causes the child to respect the parent more. My mom is kind and i know shes there for me, but if she has to, she will whop my butt. Thats keeps children out of trouble with some fear of consequences that could happen if they do somethng bad...

Answer 8

honestly i dont think you are....i believe every real parents asks themselves this question. i belive if you if you raise them with a good balance of respect and privacy they will respect you. the only thing i can say from my point of view as a 17yr. old with parents kind of like you is just try to understand them and hear them out even when you dont want to. dont just shut them down. let them make their decisions in life. all they really need is for you to be there to support them and to catch them when they fall. and we all know we got to fall sometime...i think youll be fine and as long as you show your kids what respect is they will always respect you.

Answer 9

no. just do whatever you think would make your child a better person. If eventually you find it wrong and did not fit his/her attitude change your technic in up bringing.

Answer 10

no, not foolish

you cannot control the behavour of other people, even your adult children

we do what we can to prepare them for life in the real world, then turn them loose

what they choose to to with what we gave them is their choice

i have seen children of horrible parents turn out golden, and children of golden parents turn out horrid... you are not responsible for their actions

once one reaches adulthood, you are responsible for your own actions, and most often make your own decisions about your life and actions

sometimes it takes people many years to 'grow up'

i know 13 year olds with more maturity than some adults i know

perhaps one day, they will realize what they have done to make you feel this way

foolish, No

is it normal to expect this as a parent, i think Yes