Am I good Person? Can you please help me?

Question

Sometimes I feel like there is something evil in me.

It comes out very rarely - but when it does - it seems like I breath more like an animal. I have an evil look in my eyes and I feel so much rage in that moment.

Question: I had a dream last night where the lady who plays the exorcist's mother. Only in my dream she was my mother and walking towards me. I felt this evil feeling in my dream - like it wanted my soul but I am a devoted Christian.

I kind of feel a pull from both sides - esp. in my dreams.

Last night was the weirdest. I was walking on this dirt road all alone - grey sky - and this truck was coming towards me. II felt so lonely and that moment felt so ominous. The wind was blowing hard in that dream and that truck coming toward me represented something evil. I just felt like I was evil and that scene just reminded me of that "pull". Then I had my next dream where that lady was my mother and wanting me to be her evil child.

I woke up freaked out and scared.

What do you honestly think? What is with that dream man?

It happened again today. My worst day today. I felt that thing in me. Breathing weird and feeling rage again. People can sense it and feel it - so they look at you strange - which makes me hate them even more. It is a strong thing that makes me a mean person. Like I laughed today cause I wanted to throw my drink at a truck driving by - in that moment I felt compelled to do it and laugh. But I didn't.

I don't know what to do sometimes as it takes over me and is so strong. I never do anything though.

My teacher told me when I was young I had no Conscience.

Then my friend (a doctor) said if someone shaved my head they would find 3 digits on it. Then my Auntie's friend called me a devil one time when she was mad at me.

Let me know ok.

Please see my sources - both ok.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEBcTEZcLX0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwYPAk40beE&feature=related

Answer 1

After reading your entire question I can't help but ask: are you sure you're really a Christian, as in "born again"?  I don't think you'd be getting taken over by rage if you were.

I wouldn't pay attention to dreams they don't mean anything.

Answer 2

You're not an evil person if you have evil thoughts or evil dreams or evil fantasies.  You are an evil person if you do evil things!  If people could go to jail for what they were thinking, we'd all be in jail!  We ALL have strange dreams, and fantasies, and we think of wicked things we'd like to do, and we enjoy the thoughts.  But we don't do them because we know they're wrong.  And we're certainly not responsible for our dreams!

It was wrong for those people to say things like that about you, unless they meant them as a joke.

Answer 3

if you're for real and not just trolling ... i think perhaps you might need some counseling.  seems like your self esteem was damaged in early childhood, the  painful experiences were suppressed and the rage stemming from the pain is now bubbling to the surface seeking for a venting outlet, hence the ominous dreams and the sudden desire for violent expression.   just because you're Christian doesn't mean you can't have emotional trauma and related mental and behavioral problem.   if you're feeling depressed and a lack of control over your rage you might need medication.

i don't know if you're a good person or not.  only you can really know that.  but i think the fact that you're worrying about it shows you definitely have a conscience.

Answer 4

I myself suffered from an evil presence for the first thirty years of my life; At night, the demonic attacks would begin with an eerie wind sound in my ears, a roar like growls followed by something jumping on my bed, the awareness of a animal-like presence that would overpower me, paralyze me on my bed and prevent me from screaming or call for help; it took many years of prayers to shake that demon off. The following where the most successful means against it: The Mystical Rose (beginning of the Holy Rosary) to abort the attacks, Holy Water blessing of the whole house every evening, Roman Catholic Sacramental life, frequent use of the Sign of the Cross, the Memorare and the Saint Michael prayer.

Based on my own personal experience, I would say that you are not any more evil than anybody else in this fallen humanity; disregard those cheap judgmental things people told you ; do not play alone with this temptation the devil is giving you to believe that you are evil, it's just a deception intended to bring you to despair. Find a Christian community that can pray over you for deliverance, help you with intercessory prayers on your behalf and guide you with the healing of your family tree (to deal with any potential issue involving your mother and/or her ancestors) and finally know this: You are a Precious Child of God destined to live for all Eternity in the Beatitudes of Heaven and yes, God loves you… it’s not just a phrase, He really does.

Answer 5

We all have bad thoughts, we all are human. A lot of times dreams represent things we are afraid off. Maybe your afraid of being evil. That would mean you are a good Pearson. I'm sorry but your friend is crazy. She/he watched way to many movies.