Am I immature for not wanting to get married at 24?

Question

My boyfriend wants to get married next year, which would put us both at 24 years old. I told him that I don't want to get married until I'm older, like 27 or 28, and he said that I was being immature. I just don't want to be tied down yet and have to be a married couple. I still want to travel with my friends and go out with my friends and have fun. I don't even want to move in with him yet. I'm very content living in an apartment with a few of my friends. I can't help but wonder if he what he said was true, and that I just need to grow up. Do you think I'm being immature?

Answer 1

You are NOT being immature at all. In my opinion you're being mature by saying NO and being honest with him about your feelings. If you feel like you're not ready to get married then don't cuz then you might regret it later. Take your time and enjoy being young cuz once those years go by you don't wanna regret not having fun while you had the chance. Marriage can wait a little longer you're young so enjoy life.  

Answer 2

You're not immature, your boyfriend is. If he is going to resort to name calling, and not respect your feelings, and instead try to coerce you into marriage, then he's not mature enough to  get married, himself.

You, however, are very mature, because you recognize your own feelings. It's perfectly natural to want to live and travel a little before settling down. You recognize that you're not ready, and that is the very makr of maturity. Your boyfriend is the one that needs to grow up.

Answer 3

You are not being immature.  Some of the most immature people I know want to get married right away.  I got married too soon.  (I was 20)  I sought after divorce three times and because of circumstances did not do it.  A few years later, because of my immaturity and flat out craziness I had an affair.  Stupid, yes, I know.  Now I wish I had waited.

Marriage is a huge decision.  Bigger than I ever knew or imagined.  Take your time and if your boyfriend is putting pressure on you, well, you may want to reconsider his status, none the less.

Answer 4

If this is the man you want to marry in a couple of years then yes you are being a bit immature. If you do not want to spend the rest of your life with him then no. Just because you are married does not mean that you have to give up your friends. At sometime point in time you are going to have to grow up. You can not live with your friends the rest of your life. What is going to happen if they suddenly decide that they want to get married. Where is that going to leave you.  

Answer 5

no, i think ur not. u sould live ur life and he needs to do that too. it seems he's rushing u and that can feel pressured. if ur not ready then ur not ready and he needs to deal with that. if he loves u, then he can wait a few more years when u are ready to settle down.  

Answer 6

Smart girl, very smart.  Don't get married until you feel  you're ready or else you're going to be miserable and resent him forever.  You are very young and have alot of living yet to do.  You sound smart to me.

Answer 7

You are not being immature at all. It's your life, this is your choice. What is immature is getting married to him even though you don't want to be married. You would be unhappy and the marriage would fail. Married life is not for everyone and if you are not ready, then you are doing the right thing. As for me, I'm 24 and getting married at 25 years old. You may change your mind and want to get married before you are 27-30, or you might not. You have to do what is right for you.  

Answer 8

Well I don't know about immature.. perhaps self-centered is the better term.  

That's not meant to be derogatory.  You want to do things by yourself and for yourself, and you don't want to be tied down with a man.  You're MATURE enough to know you're not ready for marriage.

Of course, if you want this freedom, you may lose your guy. And you can still have girls' nights out, etc., when you're married.  But being in a live-in relationship does certainly change your autonomy, at least a little bit.

Answer 9

I think you are being practicial and doing what works for you- which is exactly what you should be doing! I don't think it's immature. Some people don't ever want to get married! Does that mean they're immature? Nope.

Answer 10

Haley, I was 28 when I married my hubby, and had my first child at 30. You are making the right decision FOR YOU. NEVER allow another person to pressure you into something you don't want to do. Travel, experienc what the world has to offer before you settle down with the one who makes your life complete. And who is to say that the bf that you have now will be the man you marry 3-4 years from now? I wish you much joy..

Good luck to you. :)  

Answer 11

IMHO, you are being responsible and realistic.  If you aren't ready, don't rush into a marriage just because your boyfriend wants you to!

Answer 12

Your not being immature. He should respect your wishes. You are still very young to be tied down somewhere in a relationship. Live a little and wait until your around 28-30 to get married and settle down, have kids, and all the jazz. You definatley won't get the chance when your married

Answer 13

Interesting!  He said you were being "immature".  If he feels that way truly, he should think that it WAS too early to be getting married.

No, I think that you are wise to recognize your desires/goals and await marriage until later.  

Think about his comment!  Who needs to do a little growing up here?  It shows that he might not be ready either.  After all, why would a mature, wise adult want to pressure someone else into marrying them when they aren't ready.  

Answer 14

NO! you are not being immature! people get married at all different ages and it doesnt mean that they are more mature or less mature than you are! that is totally understandable! Go out have fun party! and when you are ready then get married and if he loves you he can wait for you to be ready! just take your time!

Answer 15

Nope.

I dont want to get married at all.

I dont think I'm being immature about it.

You have your right to do what you want,

and if you don't want to get married yet, then don't.

It's your choice.

In my opinion hes being immature for calling you immature.

:D

Hope I helped.

Answer 16

No, you're not immature, but he was when he called you that.  Just because you two are at different stages in committment and life views does not mean you're immature.  If you give in, you're practically giving yourself a one-way ticket to divorce, because marriage will be a chore for you, not a blessing.  Let him know that pressuring you to do this is selfish and unrealistic.

Answer 17

LMAO!!! there is no need to get married PERIOD!

our culture has conditioned us to think that we need to get married.  

Love is enough.  You don't need paper to prove that.  

Answer 18

No! It takes maturity to know what you are and are not ready for. That was incredibly insensitive of your boyfriend, but the comment was likely born of hurt. If he isn't willing to wait for you, than he really isn't worth the time, unfortunately. You simply recognized that you two are on two different developmental tracks, and you have the foresight to know when you will be ready at the aforementioned age.  

Answer 19

no you sound actually mature , dump him he seems insecure and needy , go live your life and settle down when you're 30 , or you could get married get knocked up and be miserable take your pick

Answer 20

No its not immature not to get married!! You should enjoy your life and have fun while your young and  before getting married and have kids!!  And if he doesn't respect that then he's probably not gonna last long even when you are married! Remember NEVER let anyone push you into doing something when you are not ready or to uncomfortable!!! Good Luck!

Answer 21

No way girl, you are not immature. Enjoy being young, have lots of fun.. When you're ready, you'll know. Until then,if your boyfriend loves you enough, he'll wait until you're ready!!  

Answer 22

I was in my late 20s before I even THOUGHT  about getting married. If you feel rushed into it, it probably isn't going to work because you're going ot end up resenting him for it. He is the one being immature by trying to force you to agree to something you're not ready for yet.  

Answer 23

he should respect your maturity, and besides who wants to get married, cost to much to get divorced these days.

Answer 24

I think that some choices have nothing to do with maturity.  Some  choices are about how you view yourself and what kind of life you want to have.  He is telling you what kind of life he is wanting and you are telling him "Wait not so fast"  I am cool with being a girlfriend but not a wife.  He may need to break up with you, because at some point he hears the clock ticking and other girls are getting married, so his choices are going down. I would say that you are being selfish but not immature and I would question your commitment to the relationship.    

Answer 25

h**l no! If thats what you want then thats what you want. Thats not being immature, it's you opinion and everyone is entitled for thier own opinion. To be honest maybe he's affraid of losing you and wants to get married to feel secure, but i don't know lol you know him more than i do lol. But yea thats not being immature at all. It takes two discisions to get married, maybe hes trying to use reverse psychology where he makes you feel immature and wants you to be mature so uw il agree lol, if that makes any sense but i don't know again you know him more than I. Hope this helps :) x*x  

Answer 26

His saying you are immature is just his being angry about your rejection of his idea about marriage.  However, it doesn't sound from the additional information like you have time to have a committed relationship with him.  He is looking to settle down and you are looking for some more adventure out of life first.  There is nothing wrong with your wanting to do your own thing, but be honest with him about your plans.  He wants a wife soon, so perhaps the two of you are not compatible in the long term.

Answer 27

I waited until I was 29~it was still too soon.  I think you want your boyfriend's love, his passion, and his company, but not yet his hand in marriage.  You are not being immature.  He is being somewhat possessive which comes from insecurity.  He may be in love with you which tends to makes guys 1) run away or 2) want to get married ASAP without looking at all the issues,

Answer 28

If you are not ready, you are not ready.  It doesn't make you immature.  My question is, why can't you hang out with your friends while you are married?  I think it healthy to be able to do things with your friends, even while married or single.

Answer 29

No 24 is still young! Live your life a little theres no rush to be married. People who get married young, or rush into it never last and you do not want that to happen to you. Wait till you are both ready. I am 22 and my bf is 25 I know he will be ready before me, but he understands if he wants to marry me he has to wait.

Answer 30

I think you are being very mature. Marriage is not a joke! it's a SERIOUS commitment that can't just be stepped into lightly. First discuss both your ideas on marriage. Why does he want to get married so fast? A lot of people think "oh I'll just get married and if it doesn't work we'll get a divorce." That shouldn't be an option.  

Answer 31

Of course not!  You have your whole life to be married...theres no reason why you should have to do it so young!  Just enjoy your time as a young adult and save marriage and children for your 30s 40s and 50s.