Am I in the wrong, should I just let it go?

Question

My husband expects me to take care of our daughter ( 1 Month) and the house but refuses to help me. The night before last I lost it and screamed just shut up I know it was bad but I was so tired. My husband called the cops on me said he thought I was going to hurt the baby. He even told the cops he was up til 2 am with the baby ( he was up watching tv I was with the baby) he says he works alot the cop said to bad. Now I told my husband I want him to understand how hard it is and he can get up 1 night with the baby and then do what I do the following day so he knows what it's like. My baby screams until I get up because he refuses to get out of bed to feed or change her he keeps saying he's to tired I need to do it. What do I do? Am I wrong to try to make him see what it's like? I'm ready to leave him and I need to know what to do. I could argue the point to him that yes it was unexeptable that I yelled but him refusing to feed or change the baby could hurt her too. I just want him to be more understanding and give me some help. I'm worried that he'll keep calling the police instead of talking to me or helping me and then I look like a bad parent not him and I'm not a bad parent just a new one. Please help I need your advise.

Answer 1

First of all, you need to take a couple deep breaths.. there are many parents who have to take care of their children on their own and do so.. True, your husband should help more.. but, if you do leave him, don't you think you'll be doing it on your own then too?  It really sounds to me like you are depressed (maybe PPD?) and overwhelmed?  Remember, to sleep when baby sleeps, and that the house doesn't have to be perfectly clean.. I know it seems like alot right now.. but think of it this way.. look back on your life.. how quickly does a month, two months, a year go by?  All of this turmoil with your hubby and your baby has happened in the one month she's been born.. such a short little time, and trust me.. in the blink of an eye she'll be running across the room..

With hubby's first reaction being call the police.. I'm concerned that perhaps he's building a case to leave you later and use these reports as documentation for a future custody battle.. Keep yourself under control and remember where your priorities lie.

Answer 2

If he was a real man he would get up and help. I am a guy that has been raising two children myself and the one wasn't a year old yet. I was tired but the kids need to eat need their baths. But that is life. He had the pleasure of making the baby now it is time for him to be a man. Stand up do the right thing.

Answer 3

He called the cops because you yelled!?  What in the world!  Of coursed you yelled!  You're stressed, overworked, and your daughter is only a month old!  Anybody would lose it!  You poor thing!  You're probably still like the walking dead right now... seeing as newborns take up SO much of your time and you hardly get any sleep because of it, especially when the father refuses to help.  Your husband needs to wake up and face reality.  Just because he leaves the house to go to work does not mean that he is the only one working.  Actually... I envy him because he gets to work an 8 hour shift while you have to work 24 hours a day PLUS you don't get paid!  Before leaving him, if you really love him and want this to work please consider marriage counseling or something.  Maybe one of your parents can come to help out for a while.  And if he's going to call the cops every time you express your disgust with him then that's pretty sad.  He needs to help you out and he should be happy to give you the much needed break you deserve after being home alone with the baby all day.  Much love and good luck.

Answer 4

Did you and your husband ever discuss what each of you expected of marriage and parenthood with each other BEFORE you got married or had a child?  I am going to guess you didn't.  Most people don't.

Your husband is very selfish.

I hope you 2 can work it out.

I would give it a try and if he still refuses to help out I would get divorced.

Answer 5

I am thinking if he called the police it was a little more than some yelling. He works full time? And you? Are you a full time mom? If so act like it instead of being the whiney little B you sound like. Do you think you are the only woman that ever took care of a home and a child? Get off your high horse & do YOUR job in this marriage. You sound worried about the police, if you were so innocent you would have nothing to worry about.

Answer 6

Your husband is lazy and has no clue what it is like to take care of a baby. He sounds selfish and quite frankly, not worthy of you. Why would he involve the cops? That is so lame. Get out !

Answer 7

First of all he should have never called the cops because you screamed. Most couples fight and scream at each other, that's horrible that he called the police and said you would actually hurt your own child. Parenthood is both of your responsibility and if he doesn't want to help you should consider leaving. That's absolutely ridiculous that his excuse is he's tired I'm sure you are too, and this just isn't fair to you at all. If he doesn't want to work on this then find a good lawyer get a divorce and try to get full custody of your baby.

Answer 8

First stop yelling.second make sure you don't make anymore babies with him. Third, I wouldn't stay with anyone that called the cops on me for any reason.

Answer 9

Your husband sounds immature, that's stupid on his part to call the cops because you were yelling at him.  I understand you need help but yelling at him will only make is worse.  On a early morning where your husband has that day off, make him get up with your daughter.  I feel sorry for you that your husband will not help out with your daughter.  Best of luck!