Am I in the wrong here?

Question

OK we had to do groups projects today and my friend was paired with the g*y guy in class. My group finished early, so I was just standing around. When class is almost over and we start packing up my friend comes up to me and say "Man, why did I have to get paired with the g*y guy in class" I shook my head (side to side like a no motion) and said "Yeah right, you are g*y too" then we both laugh and he says "No, I don't go that way" and I say "Yeah right that is why you are trying to make fun of him" we laugh again...but I look over and see my sister and the g*y guy and they think we were making fun of him (my sister is friend's with him, and originally my friend was making fun of but I flipped it on him) and they think I was making fun of the g*y guy too (which I wasn't). So, when I get home my sister tells my mom and says I was "laughing at g*y bashing" which I wasn't. I have nothing against them, my friend does but I don't. I know I should have told him to stop it ( but Im 16 and I like to joke around) so I just flipped it on him and made it a joke. Was I wrong?

Answer 1

sorta. this is complicated. when you laughed along, you made it look like you approved of g*y-bashing. even if you don't, all that the rest of the world sees is how you present yourself. so if it looks like you're a homophobe, that's what everyone is going to assume. it takes guts to tell a friend that you disagree with a joke, but that's the really decent thing to do.

Answer 2

Well, your intentions weren't wrong, but the way you went about it was. I understand you were making it into a joke, but you flipping on your friend and saying he's g*y too, your implying it like its a bad thing or something. I think that just adds more fuel to the fire. Just explain to your sister and her friend what you really meant so that way there are no hard feelings. Its good you're at least trying to self-reflect and be understanding though.  

Answer 3

No you weren't wrong here! You were just protecting yourself from further humiliation by degrading someone else! Looks like you'll be a great politician some day!

Answer 4

tell the guy you're sorry, and didn't mean to cause offence, and tell your mate he's an a$$ if he thinks ther's something wrong with him being g*y

Answer 5

Well you wouldn't be asking about it if you didn't feel bad so maybe you should change your approach. You can still joke around with your buddy while making it clear where you stand on an issue. I mean, laughing at something is pretty much condoning it, so your sis was kind of right.  

Answer 6

meh, i'd just explain to him that u weren't insulting him. you shoulda told ur friend to shut up though. i would have punched him in the face personally, but most of my friends know this and know not to insult ppl unless i hate them too. but flipping it on him's okayish, but still not the Bst option. be nice to the guy, dude, seriosuly. he probally has it hard enough.

Answer 7

aw it sounds like you have too much of a conscience to be someone to be cruel and bully!!

ofcourse g*y shouldnt be used as an insult but it was all in jest and you didnt mean for the guy to hear it or your sis...

just stick up for your beliefs in future and stand up to the homophobic friend of yours i think too!!

aw its so sweet that you care that much to be feeling so bad about it though.

i dont think that youre a bad person.

go talk to the g*y guy and straighten things out wityh him (no pun intended ) i think asap and apologise cos he may be feeling like bad about it all.

good luck chuck xx  

Answer 8

Well, I wouldnt condone g*y bashing at all...To turn it on your friends was a good idea but part you forgot to explain is I support g**s and dont bash in my presence.......Tell the g*y guy you were not joking him and everyone can go on their dandy way

Answer 9

Since you were laughing at being g*y, you were wrong.

And since you say "I have nothing against them, my friend does..." you might want to consider having higher quality friends.

Answer 10

Flipping it on him is like putting a band aid on a gunshot wound. You should've stopped him and said "hey that's not cool", or something equivalent.