Am I in the wrong or is my Mum being unreasonable?

Question

My mum has hurt her leg and can't walk too well so she asked me if I would walk to the shops and buy some juice and bread. Now I agreed even though I have got the flu because I wanted to help my Mum out and I walked (It's about three miles altogether) to the supermarket. When I'd picked up the groceries I was asked if I wanted a bag so I said yes and paid the 5p for it. Now when I got back my Mum went mental at me and got really angry saying I was selfish and stupid to be spending her money on a 5p bag when I could have easily carried the shopping in my hand. But I just didn't think. I didn't think 5p was THAT much and it was a long way to walk without a bag cos the groceries would have been awkward to carry. She now says I have to pay for the shopping out of my pocket money because I needed to learn a lesson. It just seems a bit nasty to me. I mean I was kind in offering to go to the shops for her and I just didn't think

Answer 1

tell her to get her own shopping

Answer 2

OMG you poor thing that's horrible i hope you gave an earful back

that's unreasonable and horrid if she's gonna be like that don't do anything for her again and tell her that as well  

Answer 3

She is being unreasonable.

Even though you are ill, you went to buy the groceries for her out of the goodness of your heart.

5p shouldnt really make that much of a difference!

Offer to pay the 5p yourself if she cares so much about it and ask to be let off for the groceries.

Answer 4

Hard to answer without knowing your money situation.  If she is unable to work because of her injury, she may be stressed not only with being hurt, but also in how she is going to pay the bills.  Any extra expense, even something small that she was not expecting can make her upset.  When you said she become mad because you spent HER money should be a telling sign.

However, I believe she could have handled the situation a lot better.  She could have told you money was tight and chalked it up to a lesson learned.  I do feel a bag is necessary when carrying anything over a long distance and grocery bags are part of shopping.

Even though I believe, and you believe you were right, I think your best bet is to pay the money and drop it.  Give her the benefit of the doubt on her money situation as well as the stress.  Dropping the argument doesn't mean you were wrong or even being a doormat, just that you are picking your battles wisely.  And, if you need to go out for more groceries, take the bag you purchased with you and reuse it.

Answer 5

how much is 5p?

anyways, stores here use plastic disposable bags, i don't know where you are, but that would be the logical choice to use.

it's both. she shouldn't be screaming at you and making you pay for groceries, but you probably should've just spent the money on what you were supposed to

Answer 6

I'd pay the 5p out my pocket money grudgingly sure wouldn't pay for the groceries.

And the lesson you have learned from all of this (apart from being out of pocket now) is that don't go to the shops for you mum again!! I wouldn't.

Answer 7

that's really unreasonable,she just didt want to pay for it..haha

Answer 8

Well that's as stupid as if you were to tell your mum it was selfish of her to hurt her leg and make you walk to the shops... just give her the money for the bag, that's not unreasonable! why should you pay her £x*x for a 5p 'mistake'?

Answer 9

Are you a boy or girl?

Whatever it may be, I will say many parents act very badly with children at times.

This shows that they do not have common sense, logic, observation and understanding.

At the same time, you have not said about the age of your mother as well as your age. Why means, whether your mother is widow, what happened to your father, as you did not mention about him, if she is a widow she will be having psychological problems and especially it is very difficult to live without money.

Especially, your question and the text lacks many details. In the absence of details, it is very difficult to answer your question.

If your mother is aged, she will be having many health problems of her own which she may not be discussing with you. Like menopause, hypertension, harmone imbalance, these may be the cause for her untold behaviour. Never come to a conclusion without observation. Have you talked to her, have you asked her about her problems any time, have you asked about her childhood days?

If you ask one way questions, then you are selfish.

Be logical whenever you speak, both word and deed.

By sympathetic towards your mother. When you want love, you have to give love. Action and reaction are equal and opposite - you know.

Answer 10

Your mother is being ridiculous. Stop being her human doormat, and get yourself to bed until your flu is gone, then look into getting your own flat.  

Answer 11

Your Mum is being very unreasonable indeed!!! Why didnt she give you a bag to take with you?? if a 5p one has caused her to act like this?? Tell her to struggle and do her own shopping next time!!!!

Answer 12

Wow glad shes not my mum, wait till she wants somthing else then charge her for everything.

Answer 13

She is being unreasonable and nasty.

Answer 14

You're mum should not have been so angry with you over 5p. But bear in mind that it can make you very cranky and frustrated when you are unable to get around. It is only 5p out of your money so I would let it go. Next time, take an old carrier bag with you. Hopefully when she has calmed down she might apologise and realise she has been a little harsh.

Answer 15

shes being unreasonable. she'll get over it, though, she probabyly went crazy cuz she is on pills n stuff

Answer 16

you didnt offer to go to the shops, you were asked to go. i would gladly break your legs so your mum can push you around the supermarket in a trolley. you use the phrase "didnt think "a number of times, is that because you didnt think.  

Answer 17

Why dont I believe you?

Answer 18

I agree with you, you didn't have to do that for her--especially when you were ill. Someone needs to learn some gratitude.

Answer 19

It was 5p! you shouldn't have to pay for all the shopping just for a 5p bag that really is overreacting.

It's also really childish.

Answer 20

Oops!  Sounds like your mum is a bit touchy right now.  She may be in pain with her leg or a bit frustrated at not being able to move around as well as she'd like.  

I don't know your situation so I can't really say if mum's just being over-sensitive and over-reacting, or if she's doing it for a good reason.  She may be struggling badly with money at the moment and is feeling the need to "teach you a lesson" on how to look after even the smallest amount of money.  Everything is so expensive just now.  Maybe she thinks you squandered her money on something she seen as unnecessary.

I could understand her taking the 5p back from you if it meant that much to her, but making you pay for all the shopping is a bit odd in my opinion.  But she may have her reasons.

Why don't you sit down and talk to her about it?  Try to keep calm, even if she gets angry about it.  Talk quietly and slowly and tell her your only asking, so you can understand what made her so upset with you.  Don't refuse to pay the money.  It can't be that much for some juice and bread, but find out why.  Make her a cup of tea and have a quiet chat with her.  

I hope this helps.  Good luck.  ;)

*SL

Answer 21

Shes in the wrong..but she is probably in a bad mood because she cant walk or do anything! so jus give her some support untill she is better even if its hard. Shes used to doing things her way so it must be hard for her having other people do it

Answer 22

I don't know how much 5p is but it doesn't sound like much.  No, your mom shouldn't worry about the bag, that i silly, but maybe she is just frustrated at not being able to do it yourself.

What I don't understand is how you think you are being kind.  You act like you've done the greatest thing on Earth. NO, you did not.  You were helping your mother out as is what is expected of you.  You were helping out the woman who sacrificed her whole life to take care of you.  I think you're a little spoiled.

Answer 23

you poor darling, your mum should be pleased that you did her a favour while you are not well yourself

Was she winding you up over the bag?

Advise her to do the shopping on the net next time and get it delivered.  

Answer 24

then don't do the shopping next time or take your own bag.