Am I in the wrong????

Question

My son is 10 1/2 months old, and I am strict about what he eats. I don't see a problem with this since my job is to nourish not fill him. My in laws have a HUGE problem with this, I am a mean mom and I deprive him and blah blah blah...

Well his father has absolutely no back bone when it comes to his family so if I'm not there he'd let them feed him JELLO after bed time or chocolate chip cookies, chips what ever they want. which obviously make me want to explode!!! So I don't want him to take our son over there unless I am with them, which as far as I am concerned they are lucky I even allow them to see him since they don't respect me at all, make jokes of how I parent etc. I think this is reasonable but it is causing alot of drama? am I wrong? should I just let him go and eat tones of S**t, that for one is horrible of anyone to eat let alone a baby and tow we don't know if he allergic to it or not seeing as I don't feed him that c**p.....Grrrr

Answer 1

"I am a mean mom and I deprive him and blah blah blah..."

I would think carefully about forbidding your kid from eating cookies at Grandma and Grandpa's, lest that become true.

I can understand wanting tight control over a small baby's diet, but your kid is going to, _is_, growing up. An occasional cookie is not going to harm a 10.5mo. Much more harm will come of depriving him of a relationship with loving grandparents.

Answer 2

thats not wrong at all your the mum, and you make all the important decisions for your son, and you in-laws have to respect that. i have the same problems with my in-laws, altho not over junk food yet because my son is only 4 months, they are always trying to get me to feed him solids (because my mother in-law started her children on solids at 8 weeks, she thinks i'm starving my son LOL) simply tell them he will not be having the junk because you are the one who has to be home with him later on that knight when he is bouncing of the walls, or when he has a tummy ache! i would go with him every time your husband wants to visit, i know what you mean about your hubby being a bit week when it comes to your in-laws, mine is much the same.... he loves them so is blinded to their bad decision making when it comes to our son! thats why i make sure i'm there to make every decision. good luck :)

Answer 3

No i don't think your wrong at all. But as far as you not knowing if hes allergic to the food. He's going to have to at least try it.  I agree 100% with you. If you tell your in laws you don't want ur baby to have junk they should respect that. Dad needs to speak on that because if your child gets sick. You two together are going to have to deal with it not the in laws. I'm glad your child is still in the in laws life. Family is important and that's what kids need. Girl keep your head up and don't trip about what they're saying. People always feel the need to try to tell you what you should be doing with your baby. Little do they know, you don't care what they think and your gonna parent how you want.

Answer 4

what your in-laws are obviously forgetting here is that this child is YOURS and not THEIRS and you have a right to have him raised the way YOU WANT to and that also means you have a right to regulate what he does and doesn't eat... If more parents were like you, there would not be an over abundance of obsessively fat children in the USA today....   My son got boils as a child if someone gave him sweets... I begged babysitters to not feed him sweets... some were good about it and some weren't ... those who weren't were FIRED because I got tired of my son spiking a fever every time he acquired one of these boils... and for those who do not know, a boil is like a huge pimple with a center "Core" inside ---they are extremely large and painful.....  But back to the question.. you are most certainly NOT WRONG in regulating what YOUR CHILD eats and if the inlaws have no respect for your wishes, then you should NOT allow them to be with that child at any time without you present to stop them from stuffing him with cookies or whatever...

Answer 5

no i dont feel you are in the wrong. they need to understand they are GRANDPARENTS. they did not give birth to this child and it is not theirs. they have no legal rights over your child, they had their chance to raise a child and feed it whatever they want and this child is yours. you make the rules and they follow and if they dont, i think they should loose privliages. what you really need to do is have your husband say something! he needs to stop being a push over and tell them mom...dad... you have no right feeding my kid against our wishes. frusutrating but there isnt really much else you can do other than stop letting your son see them for a while.  

Answer 6

you not in the wrong, but whats the wrong letting him get spoiled at grandmas? thats what grandmas do. just tell them one snack only.

Answer 7

no you are not wrong. hes your son and you pick how he is raised not them. they should respect you and your choices for your baby. you can sit down with them and talk and let them know how you feel. and remember everyone will have an opinion on how you parent. just do what you think is right

Answer 8

That blows. By them feeding him that c**p, one of these days your kid is going to drive you crazy, expecting you to do the same thing. I feel for you. It probably really hurts to know they make jokes about it. You're just trying to do whats best. Good luck....

Answer 9

I know that every parent has the right to choose what their kids do and don't eat, but I also think it can be a little extreme, my gf won't let her kids have ANY sugar. She is anal about everything. Where I want my daughter to be healthy and eat right, I still want her to have treats once in awhile too. If you stop them from eating all the good stuff (bad for you) the minute they get away from you at gma's, friends house ect, they will go crazy. Maybe if your hubby lets him have it at gma's he might not totally agree with your choice? just a thought. I don't want my lil girl drinking soda because it stops calcium absorbtion, but if she wants a chip one day a week I wouldnt stop her. Making jokes about how you choose to parent is not cool and you need to tell them so.

Answer 10

I think you are absolutely correct.  You are doing a great thing by feeding your child well.  But You and your husband have to be on the same page, if not it will not work.  I know most men would say "It wouldn't hurt every once in a while" but I understand its the principle of your in laws listening to what you want for your child.

Answer 11

No way are you wrong!! They are wrong for not trying to help instill a healthy diet in your childs life. There is nothing wrong with an occasional treat but to feed him cookies and sugary jello when its bedtime is wrong! If you are there for supper and they give him a cookie or a few chips for dessert is different. They need to respect you and your parenting and the rules that you have or don't take him over there as much!

Answer 12

You are not over reacting at all.  Feeding that kind of stuff to a 10 month old baby is ridiculous, seriously, and I would be furious.  Your in-laws clearly have some boundary issues that need to be dealt with, and you and your husband need to get on the same page.  Tell him why you don't want such a young child fed junk food - that is puts the baby at risk for serious health problems down the road like obesity and diabetes.  If he doesn't agree, tell him to bring you his research to back up his position that it's ok to feed him those things.  And then tell him to grow a pair and to tell his parents to quit disrespecting his wife.

If nothing works, they just don't get to spend time with the child.  

Whether they agree with your decisions or not is totally irrelevant - it's not their child, so it's not their choice.  Sorry to sound harsh, but this kind of stuff drives me nuts.  I really hope you get this all worked out.

Answer 13

First off, let me say that you're an awesome parent to watch your child's diet so closely. I think you should stay that vigilant in order to keep your child from becoming another obese, carb/sugar addicted, child statistic. It's your job as a mother and you're doing it well.

Unfortunately, I wish I'd been as diligent with my 3rd child. Turns out he has horrible food allergies that I didn't even realize. He's intolerant to gluten (which is in practically all processed, packaged foods and many grains), corn, peanuts, dairy and probably a few other things I haven't discovered yet. Even after I was very careful with introducing solids, he still had all those allergies.

All those allergies affected his behavior and ability to think and speak severely. He's way behind in his language abilities and will most likely need speech therapy.

Since getting him off all those foods and cleaning up his diet, his behavior has improved vastly and we can actually take him out in public without fear of a nuclear meltdown. His attention span is greatly improved as well. In about 2 months, he went from a very angry little boy who couldn't even sit down long enough to read 1 short board book to a total bookworm who will sit and listen to 3 or 4 books at a time and just last week, (I get choked up about this part) I began teaching him how to read and he's actually learning the sounds with no problem whatsoever! I can't believe my boy is learning how to read at 4 years old! At the beginning of this year, I never would have dreamed that this was possible.  Even his former Sunday School teachers have noticed a huge difference in him. :) His speech is improving as well, but I think he'll still need some therapy to catch up.

I think you should stick to your guns with your IL's. Just make sure you do it kindly but firmly and remember to have a kind attitude toward your hubby in particular. If you get nasty about it, you'll be the bad guy. Just explain to him lovingly that you only want the best for your child. I'd say allow maybe 1-2 treats per month, or whatever you're comfortable with and leave it at that. Simply state the facts calmly and firmly and they'll realize you mean what you say. People respect someone who is authoritative They don't need to wig out about things, they simply tell it like it is.

Again, good on you for being so careful and caring about your little one. You'll thank yourself for it later and so will he.

Answer 14

I think you have every right to watch what your son is eating, but at the same time, maybe a little compromise is in order.  While there is no need for him to eat potato chips, a little jello every once in a while won't kill him.  At his age, you still need to be careful about choking and allergies, so make sure they understand that certain foods have to be off limits.  Set limits and make your expectations clear, but don't make it an all or nothing deal.  A little indulgence every once in a while is fine.

Answer 15

confronting the issue again and again will not work if it didn't work the first time.  Just do not leave them alone with him.  I know for one thing if anybody gave anything to my baby out of her diet, she would get sick because she is on a strict diet for acid reflux.  Regardless, I wouldn't give my baby junk food either.  They don't respect you, but you won't change them either.  I have the same issue with my inlaws and I will never let them babysit.