Am I just being cruel?

Question

2Yrs ago, I found a kitten. She was very young, only about 3 weeks old and not weaned. I managed to raise her up to be a healthy, happy indoor cat. Here is my problem. She is afraid of everything, and I mean everything. Imagine your cat being afraid of the coffee cup you are drinking out of, or her own food. Yeah, it's that bad. And she urinates in places outside of her litter pan. I have tried everything to get her to stop. She has been spayed, is healthy, just got a checkup, and does use her litter pan. I have tried isolating her, using pet sprays that she doesn't like the smell of, a spray bottle when I catch her, and a cage. She just goes where she wants. My only option at this point is to put her down. My friends and family think I'm being cruel, they say, "put her outside", "give her to a shelter" etc. I have discussed it with my vet and he agrees with me. She is too afraid to be outside, she wouldn't make it an hour, and just the prospect of a shelter would be more than she could take., My vet sees her after hours, because just the car trip is too much for her. Am I just being cruel? I love her and don't want her harmed, but I can't have the urinating everywhere. It's been 2 long years and I am at my wits end. Am I cruel?

Answer 1

My goodness no! Do not consider yourself to be cruel at all. These situations happen. To me it sounds as if your cat suffers from anxiety disorder. Believe it or not cats do suffer from this condition. Some veterinarians can actually prescribe you a medication for your kitten to help control her anxiety disorder. I would look into the costs of this before getting her a new home.  Also, cats will urinate outside of their little pan in the case that they are mad or upset with their guardians. If your cat is scared of you simply drinking from a coffee cup than possibly she is afraid by holding it you are threatening her and in return is urinating outside of the little pan as a means of retaliation. I hope this was of help to you. Good luck honey.

Answer 2

I don't think you should put her outside.  Too many dangers are out there.

Have to talked to your vet about anti-anxiety meds?  My cat is on them and was having some of the same issues as your cat and he's responded well to them.

Have you tried Feliway?  It might help with the urination.

If all else fails, ask your vet ot recommend an animal behaviorist.  

Giving her to a shelter will ensure her death.  And putting her outside will shorten her life span.

Answer 3

Your young kitty got separated before her mother had the chance to teach her what she needed.  Whatever she experienced in her first few weeks of life has had a major impact on her.  The mother and human socialization is what usually works, but that wasn't possible in your case.

You need to make sure any spots she has urinated in are thoroughly cleaned up, to remove even the trace of scent, or she will return there.  A black light will show up where she 'did' it, unless your nose has already found all the spots.  White vinegar works, and I have given a link of some other approaches, as well as vinegar.

If the spots she urinates in are not in traffic areas, then putting down puppy training pads at least makes it easy for you to change them, and protect your carpets and floors.

Perhaps more lap time with gentle brushings may help bond with your cat.

Answer 4

I don't think it sounds like she should be put to sleep. I don't think her urinating problem has been  handled well so far and I'm surprised if the vet hasn't pointed this out. Mostly cats urinate inappropriately when they're stressed, and using sprays and putting her in a cage etc are only going to make the problem worse.

I think the cat needs to be given a break i.e. left alone. If you can't do that, I think there'll probably be someone who will. My cat is old and kind of senile and tends to wee and poo on the carpet etc when she has reason to be stressed. When she does it I don't say a word to her or make one sound, I just clean it up. She's doing it out of stress so there is nothing else TO do.

Before you give up, get a Feliway diffuser. Hasn't your vet suggested this yet? They're brilliant things, they contain a copy of cat's facial pheromones, the ones they use to mark their territory with when they're happy and content - when they rub their faces on things they're marking a territory they're happy with. Feliway is useful for all kinds of situations, particularly inappropriate urination. You should definitely try it before you try any other option.

Email me if you want. I see your problem but I'm not convinced the situation has been handled properly so it doesn't sound like it's time to give up yet. I have not yet known a cat who's needed to be put to sleep for a behavioural problem, it's just a matter of altering the environment or finding a different one that's suitable for it.

Chalice

EDIT: That is so weird, that in the middle of all Tinker's sensible advice she recommends rubbing a cat's nose in their accidents! That is the oldest and most stupid myth out there; what's it supposed to achieve except to upset the cat more?!?!?

Answer 5

I have 2 cats now and I noticed that one of my cats is a *****. I hate to say it like that but its true. She will not use the litter box if it is dirty. I don't mean all gross dirty before I would clean it out about twice a week. Especially cause my first cat spends all day outside. Anyways, I am constantly cleaning that dang box so she will use it. She is still young and hopefully will grow out of it. Sooner or later she is going to spend her days outside with the other one..but she is too scared still. I take her out when I'm home at night and she wont go anywhere just cries to be in my arms. But everyday she gets a little better. Now I can put her down outside but she just stays behind me or right under me. If you baby her she will never stop being scared. It sounds weird but its like they know your energy so if you expect them to be scared, they will be.  

Answer 6

She will continue to urinate where ever she can still smell the odor. Is there some way that you can contain her to a room with no carpet. Have you tried all of those litter attract products? I wish I could take her but I have 2 dogs and 2 cats, I doubt she could handle the stress.  

Answer 7

You are in a very difficult position, in your situation I couldn't have the cat put down, especially as we had been through too much to bring her up to a healthy cat (which you should be commended for).

I am not sure if you have tried everything already but for your own sense of well being I would see if you can speak to a behaviouralist.  My cat doesn't respond to a spray bottle and gets very scared of things too, but she isn't frightened of her food. Have you also tried stroking her whenever you give her food and sitting on the floor with her so she knows everything is ok.  Also rubbing her nose in the spots where she has accidents. Have you also thought of an outside cage for her.

I would also seek a second vets opinion just in case. I know my parents nearly had our dog put to sleep and at the last minute checked with another vet who found he had a problem with his diet that was causing accidents in the house.

In answer to your question, I personally think its cruel because I couldn't do it myself but I am not in your shoes.  I could never have a healthy animal put down.  

Answer 8

try to find her a new home, someone that has more patience and time to deal with her, its not her fault shes scared of everything

Answer 9

You would only be cruel if you turned her loose outside.  You seem to have a very understanding vet. I would follow his advice. Hold her and tell her you love her while it's being done.  We all feel your pain.  Writing a journal will help if you have trouble handling your grief.

Answer 10

No when she was a baby she was probably abused and so she ran away and she is scared that people will kill her. If she is healthy then she either doesent want to use little doesent like it or your spoiling to much after she goes on the floor then make her see it spray her then drop her off at her litter box do this for awaile it may help

Answer 11

well, i dunno if you are "cruel" or not, but we had this same problem. so we found this: http://www.ssscat.com/english/index.html

for example, my cat ALWAYS went to the bathroom in one of our guest bathrooms! so, we put the ssscat in there, right by the door, and after a month of that, he NEVER goes in there! its a miracle worker.

trust me, its worth trying :]

Answer 12

For all the people out there who have a cat, who want a cat, who have kittens - I don't care who you are.  Kittens should stay with their mother until they are on their own; could be 3 months, could be 6.  Since she didn't get the benefit, and sorry, but a human raising a kitten can be done, but it does more harm than good.

As far as the answers to your question go, some of them are just off the mark.  So if you don't know anything about cats DON'T ANSWER QUESTIONS!!!!!!

First, I give you credit for raising this poor thing.

Second, good vets are hard to find.  I would get another opinion if you want to keep her.  There are options for calming her down and training methods available.  

Third, if you're not, putting her outside is NOT an option.  These animals are domesticated because we did it!  That's a death sentence to a cat.

Fourth:  I would get her to a vet that can give you workable options.

Fifth:  Animals are forever; it's the contact we enter into when they come into our homes and hearts.  But:

Sixth:  I would give her to a no kill shelter, and advise them of your issues.  If infact there are no other options, euthenasia is your last option.  If life is so bad for her, and you're the only one to confirm this, then you need to be able to live with your decision.

Answer 13

Here are some other remedies you can try.

Bach has flower / homeopathic remedies... one is emotional emergency... It is for emotional trauma.. 1 dropper full in her water.  You can also give it to her full strength

or put camomile tea in her water.

If you try EVERYTHING and no one else will take her then it is far kinder to have her put down than just to take her to the pound to be killed.

Try the above mentioned remedies see if they work for her.

good luck >^..^<

Answer 14

it needs to be done. get a new cat. one thats potty trained

Answer 15

Give her away would be my best bet.

Answer 16

You and your vet know what is best for this cat.  Nobody else.  If her fear is as bad as you describe, it would probably be a relief.  You are not cruel you just want what is best for the cat.  If you were cruel you would have left her where you found her as a kitten.

Answer 17

Away that would not be cruel and stop the urinating is give her to a friend family member etc.

Answer 18

Poor thing!!!

:[

well in a way that isnt cruel because at least youll be putting her out of her poor miserable life...

but in another way it is....isnt there some medicine or something???

thats vary sad and if  you see that as necessary then i guess it must be done for its own good unfortunately

unless there is someone out there that will and can take her in even with that problem....

i wish you luck with this!!!!

Answer 19

very difficult question, 2 years is still a young age, I can only suggest that you put her outside at the onset of urinating, this of course means watching over her when she is doing "it", putting her outside is probably more humane than putting her to sleep, hopefully she may learn the reason why she is put outside.  Also she does not sound like she is an indoor cat, put her outside and go with her, make her feel like its ok to go out and wander, maybe she will feel more confident when you are there with her.  Persevere and hopefully she may learn to feel more confident in going outside alone.  Wherever possible leave a door open for her, incase she decides to go out.  Hope it works out.

p.s I dont think you are cruel, if you were cruel you would have gone ahead with putting her down, without giving it a second thought

Answer 20

Putting her outside would be cruel. Giving her to a shelter is killing her anyway. Don't say you have tried everything cause you haven't

Killing her for this is beyond cruel.Don't you use the words putting down to feel better. What killing her makes you is a cancer who I hope will never breed as there are too many of your kind already. This vet should also not be allowed to practice medicine if he is willing to kill a cat for peeing on a dam carpet  You love her? How dare you

Answer 21

Well I'm taking care of a cat for 3 weeks... well i'm taking care of 2 cats in fact. One cat peed on my BED. I got SO FRUSTURATED I just wanted to tell the owner I can't do this anymore.BUt I realized this was an opportunity. So far the cat only peed 3 times on the floor... and it has been 2 weeks. I locked the cat in the washroom where it had a litter box and food/ water and some toys. I sprayed it with water everytime it peed on the floor.

I think the cat is very thankful that you took the kitten home. You should cuddle up with it and lock in in the bathroom. But if it's just too hard, give it to SOMEONE... not a shelter.

best of luck