Am I just bitter? Or do I have a reason to be mad?

Question

My sister and I have always been very close, even when I was in labor with my son, things happened so quick so I didnt get a chance to call anyone and tell them until after my son was here, my sister who lives 7 hours away from me had a feeling I was in labor so she made it there almost before everyone! Thats how close we are, and have always been that way until she moved. She met her now husband about 4 years ago, and he changed her completely, (for the better)... but when they got married he told her they had to live where his parents live, 7 hours away from her family... so she moved away with him.. and since she's been gone I have only talked to her maybe 4 times on the phone and shes been there for over a year... shes visited twice and it seemed like she was her old self again, but when she leaves shes back to not talking to me again, I've tried to call her and she wont answer her phone, I've tried e-mailing her, and nothing... Ive had to do things to get her attention like, post I'm having a bad day" on myspace before she even acknowledges I exist! Why do you think she does this when she leaves and when she comes in without her husband shes like my old sister again? She's coming in next week and I'm more excited then ever to see her, but I think I'm only going to visit her a couple times because I'm very bitter about the situation, I think she should treat us just as equally when shes gone... I'm wondering is her husband keeping her from us, or do you think she just wants us when shes face to face with us... she only calls when shes by herself and her husband is somewhere else... and now she misteriously gets no service on her phone at her home, when she always got great service there, I've tried calling her while shes home and it rings for the full amout of time, when you dont have service I thought it only rang once... do you think it's her fault or is her husbadn trying to keep her from us?

Answer 1

Sounds like maybe your sister has just been a bit busy.  Try talking to her and let her know you would like for her to contact you more often.

Answer 2

That really sucks! I don't think you should feel bad for feeling the way you do, you have a right to be upset about this. Your sister doesn't seem like the type to just ignore you guys when shes away from you guys. To me it sounds like her husband is the problem, only because he did move her away from you guys 7 hours away, he could have at least made them move to were it was an equal amount of drive to his parents and to her family. When she comes in maybe you should take her to lunch or dinner just the two of you and maybe talk about how things are with her, and her husband, and then if you want you can ask her why she doesn't answer the phone when you call her, just an option though. Hope i helped, good luck!

Answer 3

If her husband was trying to keep her from you she would NOT be visiting twice a year, and she certainly wouldn’t be visiting alone (a controlling man would demand to go with her), so get off that train of thought, because it’s no where close to being right.

Nor do I think your sister is at fault for anything.  I think you’re the one who’s wrong.

She grew up, became a wife, and is starting a family of her own.  That’s where she’s focusing her attention (and that’s where it should be focused).  That means less time for you.  You have no right at all to be bitter about this--that’s very immature on your part--so get over it.

As far her not answering the phone—maybe she’s not home or maybe she is at home but she’s busy (she might have company, be in the bathroom, be in the middle of s*x, etc).  Or here’s another possibility—when my youngest sisters calls sometimes I *dread* answering that phone because I know the *entire* conversation is either going to be about her or it’s going to be her complaining about something.  And frankly, from your post, you sound a lot like my younger sister--she thinks the world revolves around her/she thinks she should be the center of attention/she's a drama queen.  (For your reference: "Ive had to do things to get her attention like, post I'm having a bad day" on myspace before she even acknowledges I exist!")

You need to realize that your sister has a life of her own, and you are no longer the most important person/the only important person in her life.

EDITED TO ADD THIS:

I’m sure you feel my answer in unneeded because you don’t like it, but your little rant doesn’t change my opinion AT ALL.