Am I over-reacting to a change in pattern?

Question

I have been seeing this guy for 13 months. The first 5 months he was dating another girl while trying to get me to commit. I know I should of let him go then, but he was persistent and well thats not the point. This past week or so he has been sort of blowing me off. He will say he is coming over after work but calls and says he wants to stay by his house because of the how close the job site is to there and if he stays with me it will cut into his sleep time. However that was the first time ever that came up. No to mention if he called me at 11pm and found out I was going out he would want to come with regardless of sleep. Then he calls to say he will call me again after work and I don't hear from him for hours after and all I get is a text telling me he will call when he gets home but has the day off the next day and will come over in the morning. Now I get a text to call him when I wake up, I call an hour later and he is with his friends again. I don't mind that he wants to hang with his friends I just don't feel like he is telling me the whole truth lately. He has not once called and said, "Hey I am going to hang out with so and so tonight. Note: he usually spends 4-5 nights a week at my house, his choice not mine. If I am going to hang with my friends he usually wants to come along. Well, after the last time he bailed on me he said he wanted to come over later but I was upset and he went to yet another friends house. Am I now being to possesive (SP). Or should I be alerted by the recent change of pattern????

Answer 1

Maybe you are blinded by love here, he is blowing you off and you are doing exactly what he wants you to do. He thinks you believe what he's saying and he wants to make sure after he does what he wants you'll still be there. Sorry but it sounds like he's trying to get someone else to "committ". Act like you are naive and do your own investigating, then confront him. If he doesn't know that you suspect anything he'll get sloppy.

Answer 2

Yes there does seem to be a change of pattern but actually the basic pattern is still the same.......he's a creep!  He spent the first 5 months with you while he cheated on his girlfriend.  If he did it with you, he will do it to you.  He has time for what he wants to do and he has no time or is too tired for what he doesn't want to do.....which is spend time with you.  I don't think you're being possessive, but I do think you're being foolish to be tolerating this.  You have become a convenience to him when he has nothing else to do and I'm willing to bet that he's doing the same thing to you that he did with his ex!!......perhaps trying to get some other gullible girl to "commit"......even though it appears he doesn't have any comprehension about what committment means!