Am I overreacting? Please help, BAD first impression of teacher!?

Question

Sorry, long question...

I think I may hate my son's teacher. I dropped my 7 year old at school this morning for his first day of 2nd grade. We've moved since last year, so we're in a new town and this is a new school for him.

They had the kids line up outside before school. Each teacher had a sign with their name. His line had a little girl holding the sign, teacher not yet in sight. When the teacher did arrive she stood at the front of the line without engaging any of the children or parents (there were about 5 adults). She began moving the line inside to class without first getting the kid's attention and alerting them that she was moving. This resulted in about half the children falling way behind, actually ending up behind another teacher, trying to catch up.

When we arrived in class she instructed the children to dump all the supplies on a central desk (shared supplies, which I was aware of and have no problem with) and to take a seat at the desk of their choice. I helped my son unload his supplies and get seated. The teacher was involved giving instructions to the children (via some thing that was a little like a microphone & amplified her voice) so none of the parents approached her at this time. I understand that this was a busy day, but she didn't even make an effort to make herself available to any of us. After a couple minutes she instructed the kids to "turn around and say good-bye to your parents, they have to leave now". I was horrified. Not only did she barely acknowledge that we were there, and not make her self open and available, but she then kicked us out of the room. I've never experienced this with one of my kid's teachers, and I was very uncomfortable leaving him.

I've since left a message at the school requesting that she contact me, but have yet to hear from her. I was instructed by the office that I would need an appointment, but I feel that it's necessary that we speak today.

I understand clearing us out more quickly than not, but I don't understand ignoring parents completely, then practically shoving us out the door. Am I overreacting, or is there really cause for concern?

Answer 1

I understand that you would be concerned becasue its a new town and a new school, but this teacher has been doing this for a long time and has found that it is better for her not to acknowledge you to make it easier for the kids.

Answer 2

I know my dad would be furious if any one of my teacher's were like this! You have every right to be concerned. She was just down right rude.

If I was you, I would barge right into that classroom when you pick up your son and not leave until she spoke to you. Maybe there's an explanation for her behaviour.

Good luck!

Answer 3

You're overreacting, teachers do that because they have to teach the kids. The teacher is fine.

Answer 4

So the teacher didn't say hello to anyone?  Not a quick good morning to parents?

I don't know,  I would give the teacher the benefit of the doubt.  Saying you may hate your teacher over this is a bit harsh.

First day of school is all about the children and the teacher.  Parents come at a later date,  at open nights or conferences or private meetings.   But maybe a smile and some hellos may have been the nicest way to start the school year off on the right foot.

I think making it a casual quick good bye to the parents was a good thing though,   to make a clean break,  so not to create long winded good byes,  which is only going to increase the chances of tears and separation anxiety.  

I would give the teacher a chance.   However,   I have disliked a couple of my son's teachers in the past.  I don't know what it was,  they were just not friendly at all,  I don't know if they just didn't like my kid, or me,   or they hated teaching or what,  but there are some grumpy teachers out there.  Sooooo I do get what you are saying.

Answer 5

I dont know that its a cause for CONCERN! But it defintely needs to be addressed if you are feeling strongly about it! I can understand how you are feeling being a pareny myself and having very little interaction with my daughters teacher this AM on her first day of school EVER!! But I think that you need to remember that each school does things differently each teacher does what they think is best for their class! She may have a very good reason for ushering parents out of class quickly...ie to keep the kids and/or parents from getting emotional and upset!! So I would say defintiely make the appoint to discuss this with the teacher but try not to FREAK out. You arent going to agree with every teacher on every aspect of their teaching style. Choose your battles!

Best of Luck

~D~

Answer 6

I think you are over reacting a bit.  Why were you in the class room?  My kids school doesn't let them parents in.  First day or not.  If you want to speek to the teacher make an appointment to meet with her.

Answer 7

you know i'm all for giving people a second chance but d**m.  she does make it difficult.  I would still wait and see how she turns out, some people just have bad days, if your really concerned you could take it up with the school administration and maybe have a sit down to see if they can alleviate some of your fears. otherwise i would take a wait and see attitude but keep a close eye on the situation

Answer 8

Overreacting. I think she could have a bit more friendly but, I wouldn't worry about this. Raising a stink about this will only you make you look like the problem parent for the school year. Don't do that to your child.

Answer 9

I'm almost wondering if your kids go to the same school as my son... My son started Kindergarten today too and they had the kids line up outside. The teacher didn't talk to me at all and it was so chaotic I didn't get a chance to even attempt to speak to her. I also had some concerns with my son. They didn't even let us in the building! They didn't give us a warning when it was time to go either, they just started marching the kids indoors so I had to hurry and help my son get his backpack on so he could rush inside! Then they were gone and I was just standing out there hoping and praying my kid didn't get lost in the shuffle. I felt guilty all day that I left him like that. He then came home with a large bruise & bump on the side of his forehead. No accident report. The teacher walked right by me when I was picking him up and didn't say a word. My son told me the teacher told another boy to push him because he wasn't following the rules. He said the boy pushed him off a chair and he hit his head. (I don't know if it really happened that way- my son can tell stories sometimes- but I've definitely got my guard up and will be speaking with her first thing tomorrow morning.) Anyway, sorry to vent my frustrations in your answer but I don't think you're overreacting at all and I'm sorry your start of school has been a negative experience like ours. I received much better communication and more compassion from my son's daycare teachers! You would think an elementary school would be an improvement, a step up from daycare! I'm defintely not impressed and don't blame you in the least bit for being upset and concerned. We're leaving our children with strangers, they should at least be making an effort to ensure that we're somewhat comfortable!

Answer 10

One of my best friends is a grade school teacher, and she has never had parents come to class like that, nor when I was in school did I ever see that.

Perhaps she was new, and not used to this. If so, she may have been nervous, awkward, and unsure what to do.

Teachers are very busy, so an appointment is the best idea.

But why are you so concerned? Because your son's teacher was rude to you? I have no wish to be rude, but as long as she is a good teacher to your son, does  it really matter what she thinks of you?

I would say forget about it and relax, but the second your son has any complaints, contact her immediately.

But if he has none, there's been no harm to his education, which is the point of school after all.

Answer 11

Yes, that was very rude. But, I don't find it neccessary to contact the school about the teacher when it was only the first day. You never know, she could turn out to be wonderful. I try to give people more then one chance to show themselves to me, because they could've lost a relative, been having a bad day, etc. Good luck!

Answer 12

You ARE overreacting.  The teacher, during school/teaching hours, doesn't have time on the first day of school to address every parent and their questions.  It's a very hard job to get the kids, fresh from vacation, to settle down and listen and having parents interrupting doesn't make it any more easier. If you have questions, wait until parents night or call and arrange a meeting,

Answer 13

You are definitely way overreacting.  This is 2nd grade not kindergarten and the children shouldn't need their parents to help them get settled in class at this age.  The teacher doesn't have to acknowledge the parents who are there they are not students in her class.  Parent's time will come during Parents NIght and Parent Teacher Conferences.  The teacher is busy getting a classroom full of new students settled in and doesn't have time for "Pleasantries" because that takes time away from her doing her job.  As for the kids not being able to keep up...they should have been paying attention.  

Answer 14

As a teacher, I find that appalling!   With children at this age, parents should be acknowledged and interacted with.  Also, children should feel safe BEFORE their parents leave.  I feel that the teacher should first and foremost make those students feel safe and welcome.  She will be with them for a long time in the coming year.  At my school we allow parents to say goodbye inside the classroom for the first week.  After that, the students should no longer need this because they have a good rapport with the teacher and feel SAFE.  I am sorry that you had this negative interaction; we teachers are not all like that!

Answer 15

i think the teacher is very rude.

the end.

Answer 16

You may be overreacting a bit. My "second mother" (she's really a neighbor, but she's a second mother to me!) is a grade school teacher, and that first week is horrid. Kids are confused, things are happening that the teacher wasn't previously aware of, and it's just crazy.

She should contact you once things chill out, but if you need to tell her ASAP (which you probably do), then send her an email.

Answer 17

The first morning was not an appropriate time for you to introduce yourself and discuss concerns. There are what, 30 kids in the class? Imagine if every parent expected to be able to have "a few moments" with her on the first day. That would take what, an hour? An hour and a half? You should have phoned the school last week to arrange to speak to her.

Your child is not four, he's seven. I'm frankly surprised you were allowed in the classroom at all. It was made clear to us when my son was starting his new class at that age that kids were to come into the class alone except in an emergency, and that the teacher was happy to speak to parents after school or by appointment. Yes, including the first day. You start as you mean to go on.

Answer 18

she may have been also and was nervous as well...feel her out. Feel free to call and and ask questions, get previous students parents and call them and ask them there opinion....then call the school and report the situation

Answer 19

I'd be more concerned about her not engaging the children than not engaging the parents.  It's actually not uncommon for elementary teachers to discourage parents from entering the classroom at all on the first day (though most teachers have enough social sense to do it in a friendly way).  

While I understand it's off-putting, I wouldn't feel the need to have a conference with a teacher over this one incident.  What would you say, anyway? Anyone can have one bad day (especially on a crazy first day), and some people who aren't that good with adults are wonderful with children, which is what ultimately matters.  You don't want to be labeled as the parent who's complaining about any tiny detail.  I'd wait and see what your son reports about the first few weeks (unless he reports some serious problem).  Maybe stop in after school one time to let the teacher know you could volunteer during the year (if you can) or just to say you wanted to introduce yourself.  

Answer 20

I think you're overreacting.  What were you waiting around for?  I dropped my daughter off at school this morning at her classroom, gave her a quick goodbye, and out the door I went.  She was too busy already immersed in conversation with the other kids she didn't even say goodbye or notice me leave.  This was her first day of kindergarten.

Answer 21

you are overreacting a bit. BUT that teacher has something wrong with her brain