Question:

Am I overreacting?!?

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My sister is getting married in a few months, i'm in the wedding

( bridesmaid ) I got fitted for my dress but I recently started losing weight my sister told me to stop and gain back the weight so I can fit in my dress right, She also told me I cant color my hair or cut it for the wedding

Is she being fair?

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  1. do whatever you want with your hair color, but it's a good idea to leave it long so you can have an updo for the wedding.  everyone always cuts their hair after the wedding, brides and bridesmaids alike.  don't gain back the weight, you have plenty of time to get your dress re-fitted up until a month before the wedding, but be prepared to pay up to another $100 for additional alterations.  and no, that's not the bride's expense, it's yours.  congrats on your weight loss.


  2. Sounds like a bridezilla to me. Take a deep breath and just try to cope with it. You'll have your "normal" sister back after the wedding is over.

    Have your dress taken in-if you're happy with your weight DO NOT gain it back.  

  3. Just seems like she has a case of the "bridezilla"...Althought you probably want to do what ever with your hair, just stick it out a bit longer until she gets married...I myself delt with a bridezilla not that long ago and I learned, just to go along with it, of course to a certain extent..but DO NOT gaine the weight back, at least not on purpose...

    Just let her know that your NOT going to gain the weight and that you can always get the dress alternated!

  4. I think she just want everything to go smoothly, it's the time of her life, it's very important to her.  Maybe you should just follow her, not sure with the gain back the weight though.

  5. As long as you are paying for the alterations she should not care.  AS far as your hair....I am a bride (oct. 11) I did ask my bridesmaids not to do anything EXTREME with it like color it RED, or chop it all  off (pixie is in, but not for my wedding)

    Getting married is stressful.  Run her some slack, I will be lucky to have any friends or family talk to me after October 11th but I (we as brides) just want "our" day perfect.  Good Luck and CONGRATS to your sister.

  6. She is being the typical demanding bride!

    You can get the dress altered to fit at your expense and all will be fine!  Let her know that you will take care of it!

  7. She is being silly but its just her nerves. Just get the dress refitted at a really good seamstress and youll be good. As far as the hair, she needs to relax, I mean really...

  8. No, she is not being fair. There is absolutely no reason why she should tell you to gain back the weight and to not cut or color your hair...none of those things should have any bearings on the outcome of her wedding. I personally never understand brides like this. I told my bridesmaids to do their hair, makeup, shoes, etc. anyway that they wanted - things like that just don't matter.

    For now, in order to keep your sister from having a hissy fit you might want to reconsider cutting and coloring your hair - but don't gain the weight back. That's ridiculous...

  9. No, she isn't.  Some brides get carried away with how they want you to look and take over your life because you nicely agreed to be in their wedding for one day.  You do not need to gain the weight back, however, you should try to get your dress altered so it fits you properly.  As far as your hair, you can cut it if you want to, just ignore her.  Try not to do anything crazy with it (not pink and in a mohawk) but as long as you are within reason, she should cope with it.  Good luck, sounds like you are in for a lot of fun....

  10. well if you are paying for your dress and alterations then she cant say anything about your weight.  If you needed to lose the weight then good for you!

    If you are coloring your hair normal colors, nothing crazy, again she cant stop you.

    As for cutting it, she may have a certain style in mind and length may be part of that.  Can you stick to minor trims for now?  

  11. Congratulations on your weight loss! Weight can be hard to keep off, and hard to keep losing, but controlling your weight is essential to your long-term health and you are to be applauded for the self-control and diligence that you have shown. Do not allow anyone, not even a beloved sister who is about to be a bride, to sabotage your success in this area!

    A good seamstress will be able to take in your dress. It would be much harder if it were going to a larger size, but you will be amazed at how smoothly a seamstress can take it in. Regardless, your improved body-shape will look good and compensate for any change in fit. Your body, your hair length, and your hair colour are all entirely under your control and no-one else can take that control from you, nor should they try.

    Now, your sister may of course ask you not to stand up with her wedding party if you don't toe the line she draws and pander to her whims. That is her choice, over which you have no control. But she could do that even if you did sacrifice your dignity and let her order your personal affairs. I would recommend that you accept the possibility and plan on shrugging it off if it happens.

    Of course, it would be courteous to refrain from any radically controversial changes, such as a shaved head, or a shockingly artificial hair colour like electric blue or flat black. But even those fashion choices are yours to make and part of who you are. I abhor blue hair, but I love my sister more and would have her stand up beside me at my wedding regardless.

  12. She has no right to try to make you a cookie-cutter bridesmaid. The girls one chooses to stand by her are chosen for who they are, not how they look.

    My bridesmaids are a motley crew, a couple are into body modification, so piercings and ink are completely normal with them. It's who they are, and if they want to show their ink or wear their piercings for my wedding day, I'm completely fine with, and actually would prefer it. It's a part of who they are, and I would not be a very good friend, if I tried to take that away from them for even one day.

    I would look into a seamstress and see how much alterations would cos. Losing weight (by diet and exercise) is a good, and healthy thing. Don't gain weight for her. Two years ago I was a bridesmaid for my cousin. I expected her to be a complete bridezilla, and she had her moments, but she never complained about my very short hair (at the time) or tried to make me fit the other girls' image.

    Asong as you weren't planning on a wild hue or style, I don't see any reason for you not to cut or dye your hair.

    Your sister is likely stressed and finding outlets for it, and I would take her out to lunch, or to a spa/salon and once she's relaxed would talk to her about it.

  13. No, she is not. She is more concerned with how her bridesmaids will look and having a perfect picture than with you. You are entitled at this point to offer to step out so she can have someone who looks the way she would like.

  14. Don't ever gain or lose weight for anyone but yourself, the important thing is that you are healthy!  You have plenty of time to have the dress altered. I can understand that she would not want you to get a bright purple mohawk, but if your hair is well done she should be able to deal.

    She is being crazy, it happens to a lot of brides. Sit down with her and nicely say that you need to live your life, and while you are willing to help her with the wedding you will not make decisions about your health for a dress. Tell her that everyone will be looking at her anyways; it’s true and she will like that. I would tell her I'm worried about her getting too caught up in things, that much stress isn't good. You may want to have a day to relax with her, like a spa day (in a spa or a day of pampering at home) to chill out a bit. There is a lot for her to worry about and she may just need to relax a bit so that she can get a better grip on reality.

    Whether or not she calms down or continues to freak out, do whatever you can to keep the peace and maintain your own sanity. Don't sacrifice your health though.

  15. No she isn't being fair, but it's her big day. So just go with it, except the weight part, just get the dress re-fitted.

  16. You can get it tailored to fit you right... Don't gain weight for her sakes... she's acting nuts. Also, as long as you're not going pink and shaving your head, do what you like.

    just stay out of her hair and if she snaps again, tell her that she's acting like a controlling bridezilla and you have no energy for such behavior.

    All the best


  17. Just have the dress refitted.  As far as your hair goes don't do anything drastic(for instance if she's having all bridesmaids wear their hair in a bun but you cut your hair too short to put in that style or dye your hair something along the lines of blue or pink).  As long as it fits into the style she's having you wear your hair on the wedding day then it's really not her business.  If it is something drastic then maybe you can just wait those couple of months...  Remember you did sign on to be a bridesmaid and one of the things is the bride gets to choose what she wants you to wear and how your hair is done for the wedding

  18. go have your dress re-fitted if you have lost enough weight that it is noticable in the dress and wait to get your hair cut and colored.

    It is your sister's "Big Day" and she is allowed to be as crazy as she wants to be.  

  19. No...she's being emotional...she does not want you to look better...Geez. Be quiet and be yourself...don't ask her about changing anything...do what you must...just smile or get out of the wedding party quickly...she's a big bag of uncontrollable emotions...Take Care

  20. She's being what is known as a Bridezilla. God forbid anyone look remotely pretty that day other than the bride.

    I say do what makes you happy, hair cut, color etc. and if you're losing the weight and being healthy then kudos to you! :)

  21. No, you're not over-reating at all. She's just getting stressed and is taking it out on you.

    Just take your dress to the tailor and have them fit it to your new, fabulous body. She won't even know (and what she doesn't know won't hurt her at this point).

    Do you usually color your hair? If it's just maintenance, have it done, of course! You don't want roots showing on the big day. But if you're thinking about changing it drastically, I would hold off. My sister (my MOH) is always changing her hair, and I asked that she be natural for the wedding (she's a natural blonde, and has gorgeous hair) because for one, it's what looks best on her, and two, I know she'll regret it if she doesn't (we had family portraits done a year ago, and she wished she had been blonde for them). Are you also planning a drastic cut? i would try to keep everything as close to how you have it now until the wedding. It's only a few months. Just get a trim and a style not so different than what you have, and then after her wedding, do whatever you want.

  22. No she is being really immature. If you need to lose weight, go for it, but youll have to alter your dress closer to the wedding date.

    Unless youre thinking of doing an experimental (ie not your usual style) pink shaved mohawk, under no circumstances should you not color or cut your hair.  

  23. Hah, I actually understand the weight loss thing.  My one bridesmaid lost 20 lbs. between me ordering her dress and her finally trying it on (3 weeks before the wedding).  She probably dropped two dress sizes, and then tried to get ME to pay for alterations!!  That bothered me, but how do you get mad at someone for losing weight?  Just offer to pay for alterations, I suppose.

    And my husband requested my natural hair color for the wedding, and my sister (who was doing my hair for free) suggested I keep it long to get the style I want.  But the other way around?  No way, you can do whatever you want with your hair.  I would have an issue if the hair color was dramatic and not normal (pink, anyone?)  Other than that, who cares?  Tell her to stuff it, on both points.  Tell her to worry about something more important, that she DOES have control over.  

  24. No, she's acting crazy.  You can get your dress refitted if it needs to be done.  Are you thinner than your sister or will you be thinner than her by the time her wedding rolls around?  If you are, she's probably just jealous.

  25. No you're not overreacting. but remember she is the bride. Just try to suck it up for the next few months. If you are losing weight than you can just get it hemmed in more. She is just not wanting any one to look better than her. She might have got a touch of Bridezilla coming out. Just try and please her.

  26. lmao.. gain back weight?? Unless you were happy with your figure to start with that's not at all a good thing to say. The dress can be altered. Maybe she wants to look the best at the wedding. . . you know for once in her life have everyone stare at her. Maybe, just a theory.

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