Am I overreacting to a boss who's flirted a lot with me?

Question

This is a long one, but bear with me...

I had a kind of flirty relationship with a guy who I worked with. I knew he liked me and because we got on well and I was attracted to him I was happy to spend time with him at lunch and outside work. It was only ever as friends, but he kept trying to lead the conversation round to s*x. I didn't really respond because I wasn't too comfortable about the fact that he had a mortgage with his girlfriend, but I still chatted to him. He told me he'd cheated on his ex with his best mate's wife. Anyway, then it turned out that the company structure was changing and he was going to be my boss, and we would be working in the same room all the time. This made me really uncomfortable, especially as he kept insinuating that he'd give me special favours and stuff. An opportunity came up to work away, which I took like a shot, but now this opportunity is coming to an end and I have to go back to the original plan, which I'm still really uncomfortable about. I've been ignoring him as much as possible, given that he is my boss, and the constant texts and emails have dried up, but I'm suspicious that he's engineered my return to the main office. I don't really know what to do...any suggestions?

Answer 1

Well there's really only one thing you can do -- talk to him about it.  I'd wait to see if anything happens, though.

Just go back to work with your head held high and a smile.  The SECOND he says something flirty to you, immediately wipe that smile off your face and say to him in a firm, but calm tone "This is making me uncomfortable" and walk away.  Repeat if necessary, as many times as necessary.  If his behavior doesn't change, it may be time to go to the HR office and file a complaint, or possibly to his boss.

Good luck.

Answer 2

This is a classic case of sexual harassment in the workplace. I'd talk to your/his supervisor about it IMMEDIATELY  for the following reasons: s*x talk is not appropriate for the workplace, and more importantly it makes you you feel uncomfortable.

Next, he's in a position of authority/power over you and is insinuating that you'll get special favors/privileges for going along with it. Finally, like most abuses, the first time your usually not caught which means it's happened before but you have the power to stop it from happening again.

Basically, he's risking his job and the next girl might not be so nice and sue the company to oblivion, then none of you have jobs.

Do everyone at work a

Answer 3

My suggestion is to keep it professional.  Don't be intimidated by him.  Go in, do your job, and go home.  Simple as that.

Answer 4

What your boss is doing is called sexual harassment and is against the law. Don't talk to him or associate with him out of work.Talk to him only when necessary when at work. Document anything he says or does that does not have to do with the job. Speak with his immediate supervisor,if he continues his behavior. File a grievance with HR.  

Answer 5

Go to human resources and file a sexual harassment complaint the first time he does anything inappropriate. That will cool his jets.

Answer 6

My suggestion, in the future don't flirt at the work place (ever).  As to your current problem, opt NOT to go to lunch with him, don't e-mail / text him, and keep your relationship strictly professional (you might look to see if there are any other positions open at your work place).  

Answer 7

Yes, after you start working for him again, write down every suggestive comment he makes, including date and time.  After you have accumulated several, take the list to your Human Resources department and file a sexual harassment claim.  If you play your cards right and get lucky, you might even get promoted into the position he gets fired from!

Answer 8

Tell your human resources about this and both of you confront him and tell him it's not appropriate or wanted so stop it .

Answer 9

Well find out who his superior is.  If he keeps bothering you, you can ask him to stop, have a witness.  If he doesn't stop go to his boss, put it in writing, if the boss can't get him to stop the company can be sued.  It is harassment and it is illegal, unless of course you are returning the attention.

Answer 10

Bang him like a screen door in a hurricane and get a raise.