Am I overreacting to the inappropiate behavior of my daughters friend?

Question

My daughter is in second grade. She befriended a girl, let's call her "Jane" in her class.

Last month, Jane was caught by the classroom teacher in the coat closet sitting on the lap of a male student making out.

She lied and said the boy threatened to hurt her if she didn't do it, but after much investigating, it turns out JANE intiated the kissing.

Yesterday, my daughter told me Jane took a pencil and put it between her legs pretending she had a p***s.

Whenever Jane comes over to visit, she is extremely whiney and is overeager to please my wife and I.

Opinions?

Answer 1

Sounds like "Jane" might have been abused perhaps sexually by someone. Of course some children have simply seen things they should not have and it could be that but most kids who exhibit overtly sexual activity at this age have been abused( allowed to see stuff they should not have) or abused sexually.

Answer 2

A  member of my family exhibited this kinda of behavior as well and she was sexually abused...I believe that is the problem here.

I  would have the principal  talk with the parents of this child. Either the parents or someone close to them has done this.

CPS should be involved in this investigation as well.

I would not allow my child to be alone with her or around her family.  I know that sounds cruel as it is not the abused childs fault, but until she receives counciling she may think it is ok

to exhibit inappropriately around or even to your child.

(Then you would have two sexually abused children )

It is definitely something you go about gently and with under

standing.

Answer 3

Doesn't sound like the average behavior of a well rounded 7 year old.  I would voice my concerns to the teacher.  It sounds to me, from what you have writen that the child may be being sexualy abused or at the very least subject to very sexual graphic behavior at home.

Answer 4

I would be very concerned for the little girl if I were you.  I wonder if the school contacted CPS?  If not maybe you ad your wife should.

Answer 5

Maybe its a cry for help........?  Try discreetly speaking to her teacher at school to see if they can help.  Also, try not to make a big fuss out of not letting your daughter be friends with "Jane" because sometimes children have a tendency to fight back and go against your good intentions.

Answer 6

You're overreacting.

She snogged a boy and got caught.

She pretended to be a boy with a pencil (possibly having learnt some phyiological stuff during the snogging)

No doubt though that Jane is a lying little schemer and will be nothing but trouble when she gets older.

update

Notice how its all women who support reporting Janes parents to the principle, on the supurious assumption that daddy is a pedo?

This kind of s**t ruins lives.

The girl put a pencil between her legs ffs, and kissed a boy.  Get a grip!

Answer 7

Omg........that is so unusual!A 2nd grader making out in a closet?A ho to be.

Answer 8

it sounds like this little girl does not have a good homelife. Bring your concerns to the principal

Answer 9

Hmm i know what school i wont be sending my daughter too.. I would pull your kid out of that school and put her in a school far from "Jane" She has sexual tendencies obviously and lets blame Hmmm "Her parents". I don't think your grade 2 child needs to be around this.. and if you can't change janes thinking..change schools ...

Answer 10

Sounds like social services should be called!  I don't know any second grader that comes up with that stuff on their own. She must be witnessing it somewhere.....lets pray it isn't first hand experience.  It is your job and your right to look out for our daughters best interests.  In this case....No outside school time together is best.  Do the teachers not see a problem with this?  What the heck to her parents have to say about it?

Answer 11

"jane" is a bit over the top for 7 or 8.

I was oversexual at a young age, I would say 9 or 10, but I hit puberty completely by 11, she may be an early bloomer, and doesn't know how to act it out. Her parents need to get a grip on her now, she is trouble, I would keep her away from my daughter. I don't think it necessarily means abuse either, she just doens't know what to do, but she is an inappropriate child. I wouldn't have her over for many reasons, what if she told her parents that you or your wife did something to her?

It's not worth it.

Answer 12

The first thing that comes to mind is....where is she learning this stuff?  I think you're right to be alarmed.  I wouldn't want my daughter associating with her either, and whatever you do, don't let your daughter spend time with her at her house.  Maybe it's constant media hype that's got us all paranoid, but I can't help but wonder if this "Jane" has been, or is being molested.  I think you should raise some alarm bells and at least get it looked into.  Besides protecting your own daughter, you may save "Jane" from something horrible.  This is NOT normal behavior for a second grader.  I think Child Protective Services or Department of Social Services as it is called her, does take anonymous tips, but I think I'd go at it through the school since she is exhibiting the behavior there.  The whining and eager to please attitude may be an injured child looking for love and attention.

I hope you can get to the bottom of it, and I do think that you are doing the right thing.  Nice to know there are still good parents out there.

Answer 13

I would talk to the teacher to seperate them in class, so that you child can learn without distractions. But ask the teacher to do it so they don't know that you asked the teacher to do this. Let them hang out at recess, and lunch but if your daughter asks to have "Jane" over for a play date, make it somewhere not at your house. It will make it easyer for you, and also invite Janes mother or father. You could go [with the parents] to the playground, or the beach [in nice weather] or maybe even a place like chuckycheeses.

And only let Jane and your daughter hang out, about every 2 weeks.