Am I "tilting at windmills"?

Question

Sometimes I attempt to answer a question because the person who asks the question (by the nature of the question and details provided) just seems to be "unthinking" and I just want the person to "think." But the outcome seems to be that the person asking the question just wants affirmation that they are right.

I guess I want to "educate" the person, however it might seem as if I am giving a lecture or preaching? It's kind of, "Well who asked you? my answer is "Well, you did." But, am I reinforcing the behavior (sometimes rude or obnoxious) by answering the question in the first place?

Answer 1

If we were face to face I am sure your attitude, smile and genuine intelligence would impress me and I would heed your attempt to educate me.  Here in Internet Land we don't have the benefit of human contact and can mistakenly think you are lecturing or preaching.  I can't remember a time when you ruffled my feathers by the way you answered a question.  My advice is to keep on doing what you are doing.  This would be a dull place if we all thought alike.

I do pick Best Answer on the basis of who made me laugh or who at least faintly agrees with me.  Guilty!  

Answer 2

I come here to help, laugh, cry with you, and learn things I did not know. If I find someone being rude on my post, just plain mean, I WILL give them a thumbs down! I say this every time, I like to be nice to all on answers. I give a thumbs up for everyone who answers my posts simply because they took the time to answer. You are ok with me.   Poppy

Answer 3

I refer to this as the "splash-back effect".  It's just a given that when you go to hose off dirt from the sidewalk, that it turns to mud & might splash back in your face, or somewhere on your body or clothing.  Even if you use a broom, the dust gets in your lungs & on your skin & clothing.  

What I'm trying to say is that some people are just looking for an argument & no matter what you say or do, it's gonna set them off.  I have found that some one my nicest & least invasive question & answers riles up the person I am attempting to share information with.  

You can only do what you feel is best.  If someone takes it as a personal assault & you didn't mean it as such, you can TRY to explain...but that often makes it worse for the types of people who have these UNRESOLVED ISSUES that they are dealing with.  The rest of us have to roll with the punches & dust ourselves off when the leaf blowers start up & get pointed in our direction.

Someone thinks we're ALL out to get them.

That's what I call a LEARNING CURVE!

Try to have fun & let the difficult stuff roll down to the next level.  someone will eventually find a nice place they can call their own.  Then we die...that's just the way life is designed, unfortunately.  I think I "feel ya" on this one.

Answer 4

It depends on who is asking and your relationship to that person.  You would treat family members differently than a stranger at a check out line.  You'd even treat family members differently - children as opposed to your spouse.  Also depends on the nature of the question.

So without a specific example, I don't know that there is really an answer to your question.

Answer 5

Go ahead, tip those windmills!

Most of them aren't spinning on an even hub anyhow.

Answer 6

Some people are quite single-minded in their questions.  They have one idea in mind and want you to affirm their own opinions. Others have no sense of humor when it comes to certain topics.  It's almost impossible to know which of your answers might set someone off like this.  As long as you're sincere in your answers and not insulting and don't call them names,  then you've done nothing inappropriate.  I enjoy reading your answers and have learned from them.  

Answer 7

I know what you mean, I do understand. There have been times but not usually on Seniors when some Askers just seem to want to pick your brain.

These ones are mentally lazy and just want you to do the thinking for them. Believe me I do feel like being blunt and telling them to get off their lazy behind and do some research and work themselves.

However I don't want to appear rude or obnoxious myself or getTDs for being tactless or blunt.

You are also correct when you say that some really don't want others opinions or advice just confirmation or affirmation that they are right. In that case all you can do is say your piece but you wont ever get BA if you don't agree with them.

I guess the whole point of Y/A originally was to educate people and give answers for genuine Qs but I think in reality Y/A is far from what it was meant to be.

And No I don't think you are reinforcing their behaviour by answering. The fact is they will ask anyway regardless of who answers and what the quality of the answer is

DON'T get serious about it all. Just have fun.

Answer 8

If it is your nature to "educate" then have at it. Dont change unless you feel you need to change for yourself. You are right, alot of questions are merely someone wanting to express their opinion, or affirm they are right. I work with a guy who is constantly saying how bad his life, no one has it as bad as him, and generally has a pity party every time he talks to someone. When you try to give him advice on how he can improve his life, he is not interested. He just enjoys the pity party.After listening to him for years, I have come to the conclusion that he enjoys wallowing in his misery, and offering advice to change it only takes him out of his comfort zone.

Answer 9

No - sometimes you may be speaking for the majority.

And - as I have been  told numerous times - this is not a pulpit... it is a question and answer forum.

If folk just want to preach - go to church.

If they want opinions and other folks thoughts - then they should suck it up when they hear them!

And what sort of boring place would this be if we are only going to get yes/no/you're right replies.

Good for you - keep tilting!

Answer 10

Split the difference.

"It just strikes me as rather limited thinking, cutting yourself off from other possibilities."

You spur them along, but don't invest too much into it

Answer 11

I think Yahoo Answers is just a source of entertainment so I don't take it too seriously.

Answer 12

Answer questions the way you think they should be answered and don't worry about it.  I wouldn't take anything said here to seriously.

Bottom line:  This is an entertainment site. All sorts of people come here to ask and answer questions.  You never know who you are communicating with. You never know what their motives are.  You can't really know who is telling the truth or who is just making things up.

Some folks play nice here.  Some do not.  Some folks will like your questions and answers and some won't.  Again, don't worry about it.

Put on your thick skin and have fun.