Am I racist and/or homophobic???

Question

Ok, to preface these issues, let me say my mom is from the south and has always had a slightly close-minded view on blacks and g**s. She was my main parent growing up so naturally I've been a little tainted with her perspective. That black and white people don't intermix and that if I ever turned g*y I would go to h**l...Don't worry, I'm not that ignorant, and I don't believe in h**l(or heaven either). With that said...

Scenario #1

I am a white female, I have been persued by a few black men in my day. I have always told them I wasn't interested. First off, my racist family would freak out and some even disown me. I think I'm not programmed to find a black man attractive as a potential mate. I have been called racist for that reason more than once, but I hope that I'm not. I have a general respect for everyone, I'm no better than anyone else. I have just never met a black man that I was intererested in dating...Am I not allowed to have my own personal preferances? Am I racist???

Scenario #2

Ok, so I have g*y friends as well. I don't really see them as anyone different. But honestly with lesbians, I have this goofy notion that I have to be careful not to flirt with them or lead them on. I'd say that would make me homophobic, but I'm also a little bi-curious. So what does that mean? Am I scared of my own possibilities, that maybe someone would call me out on my secret curiousities? Am I a homophobe???

Answer 1

No to both questions, You sound sensible to me and you seem to have your own ideas about things.

Answer 2

The way you're brought up is going to make a difference in your thinking patterns, whether you like it or not.  Like another person here said, just because you don't find African American men attractive doesn't mean you hate them for not being white, that's just how you feel.  And as for homophobic, I wouldn't say you're a traditional homophobic, but maybe you're a little more uncomfortable around lesbians than you are around g*y men.  There are millions of "straight" people who are bi-curious. That doesn't make you bi, it just makes you curious.  And don't get drunk and experiment with another woman, that's not a smart way to go about it.  Maybe try talking with one of your g*y friends about it.

Answer 3

You're neither racist or homophobic, the fact that you don't find black men attractive doesn't mean you're racist.  If you found black men attractive but refused to date them because of their skin, then that would make you racist.  I don't find tall women attractive, that doesn't mean that I hate all tall women, you get what I'm saying.  And the fact that you want to be careful around your L*****n friend is completely normal.  And the fact that you're bi-curious is normal too, a lot of people have that curiosity and if you wish to pursue that, or try it out one time, might I suggest that you and your friend get very intoxicated before you try anything.  Like I've always heard, the truth comes out when you're drunk.  And if you try this and like it there's nothing wrong with it.  

Answer 4

here is my personal view. i do not think your racist. i have the same thing i just generally dont find darker people attractive. There are a few i do but i fancy more lighter colour people. and you cant help that.

and i dont think your homophobic either. i think that you would be careful not to flirt with a guy and its the same with lesbians. :) im bisexual :)

Answer 5

High Five