Am I responsible for legal fees?

Question

I had planned on placing my baby for adoption but backed out after giving birth. The adoption agency just told me that I am responsible for legal fees and expenses for the adoptive couple since I didn't give them the baby. The couple did not pay for any of my living expenses or medical expenses. Suddenly I am responsible for $12,000!? Is this true?

Answer 1

Did you sign anything?  Anything at all?  I think the agency is trying to bully you into giving up your child, because THEY don't want to refund this couple's money.

Contact legal aid, get an attorney of your own.  It is not likely that you actually owe anyone this money, but you need your own representation.

Answer 2

OMG!  NO, you are not responsible for legal fees.  The adoption agency is.  The adoptive parents pay nothing if the adoption doesn't go thru.  The adoption agency absorbs the cost.  These guys are scum.  Thank God you kept your baby.

You don't owe anyone anything. (just hospital fees) The prospective adoptive parents might be disappointed but they'll get over it.  The expectant mother has a right to change her mind.  That's adoption.

Those slime buckets better leave you alone.  You have been given great advice.  Listen to Robin and Theresa, they know what they are talking about.

Congrats on your baby.  You just enjoy your new baby and motherhood. Let the lawyers deal with those low lives.  

You have my support.

Answer 3

What legal fees? If the adoption did not go through I don't see how there could be any.

Did you sign anything? If so, what did it say? If not, that's good. I don't have experience with agencies but I find it highly unethical that they would hold you liable for anything.

Answer 4

first there is no way for anyone here to tell you one way or another.  If you signed paperwork to that affect then you may be.  If you have the paperwork then take it to a lawyer and have them review it.  My guess is there is more to the story then what was posted.  It is possible they are trying to pressure you but without knowing  the whole story it really could go either way.  Nether the less a lawyer in your state familiar with adoption is the only person who can give you sound advise.

Answer 5

jesus, joseph and mary!

"Am I responsible for legal fees?"

h**l NO!  

they are scamming you for your kid, they are attempting to produce a product for their paid clients, and they are trying to bully you.  there is NO LAW that says you have to repay anything.

you have the right to change your mind up an until you sign the relinquishment papers.  and you absolutely owe them no money, nor an explanation. and if they are not mentioning anything about relinquishment papers you've signed (which is what is sounds like, since they are pulling the "you owe money" b.s.) they don't have a leg to stand on.

this is what we call "the okie doke!" and it's one of the most common coercive techniques an adoption agency will use to get a mother to relinquish.

simply tell them to show you a contract that you signed stating your obligation to repay fees.  if they can't show you where you've signed anything, tell them to kiss your as$

have no further contact with them.  you owe them nothing.  your relationship with them is over, and they have no right to call your house. and if they continue to call, tell them you will file a harassment suit against them.

grant it, the aparents might be disappointed, but, this is YOUR BABY..and they knew the risk going in.

ps. congrats on your new baby.

pss. for those who are so sure that no coercion takes place...here's an example.

ETA: thanks robin for the heads up on this question.

Answer 6

NO NO NO this is not make them show you where you signed something saying that.  They are trying to scare you into giving the baby.  This is horribel.

Answer 7

Since you cannot relinquish pre-birth, you have no legal fees. You are not responsible for expenditures by the adoption agency. That is called baby selling and is illegal. It is likely a threat to make you change your mind.

Answer 8

Did you sign any paperwork at all?  If you didn't sign a form promising to pay legal expenses, you're being railroaded.  And regardless, I don't believe they can make you pay for their expenses.

Also, since you are not the one who contracted for legal services (the prospective adopters did), you can not be held responsible. Don't be intimidate!  You're being lied to!

Contact the following agencies immediately for their help & support!  

http://originsusa.memberlodge.org/

http://originsusa.memberlodge.org/Defaul...

http://www.cubirthparents.org/

Good luck!  Keeping you & your child in my prayers.

ETA: You don't owe ANYONE YOUR CHILD!

"Children are not "payment," nor are they commodities"!!!

WELL SAID!



Hang in there my friend!  And listen to the many voices supporting you here!  They speak from experience!

Answer 9

NO YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR LEGAL FEES NOR ANY EXPENSES.

Answer 10

I hope not, but it does depend on what you signed.  Years ago I heard of adoption agency having a clause that all fees for travel, legal etc. done before baby was born would have to be paid back if the mind was changed.  I certainly hope we have gone past that stage......

Answer 11

No they are probably trying to s***w you... I would contact the bar assoc. as they can refer to a lawyer that is low cost or no cost for assistance in this matter. As long as you didn't sign any contract stating you would pay they can't enforce it although every state may have different laws.... Again a lawyer from the STATE BAR ASSOC> can give you great advice. Congrats on your baby.

Answer 12

You arent responsible, they didnt pay anything of your expenses.  I have questions, what kind of papers did you sign?  Was a lawyer present?  Did they explain you everything?  You have to get a lawyer.  It's good and congrats for you decision on keeping your baby.  Good luck!!!

Answer 13

We were told by our agency that if we are picked my a birth mother and she changes her mind any payment that we may chose to give her for medical or living expenses is not refundable that is one of my biggest fears. I want to congratulate you on your newborn and good luck. Get in contact with a private adoption lawyer they may know more about the laws then a average lawyer.

Answer 14

Other then your own medical bills you should not be responsible for anything.

Many people on here have suggested an attorney. I am not even sure you need that. Stop taking the agency's calls and change your phone number if they are harassing you...if that fails file a restraining order.

No judge in their right mind would enter a judgement against a woman for KEEPING her own flesh and blood!!! They do not have a legal leg to stand on...these are the risks and the agency knows that!!!

Congrats on the baby Mama!

Answer 15

Absolutely not!!! this is a coercive tactic used to ensure that mothers relinquish their babies.  Please don't give in to bribery and blackmail - yee gads

Refuse point blank and ignore any attempts to convince you to hand YOUR baby over

Please contact Origins for immediate help and guidance:-

http://originsusa.memberlodge.org/

I hope that this agency is reported and shut down for unethical practices.  Get proof that they have requested this of you and then sue the pants of them

Answer 16

If the family did NOT pay for anything then why in the world would you owe them anything?  I sense you don't believe it either.  Did the agency pay for anything?  Did you sign anything about money prior to having your baby?  Take all you have and go to a lawyer.  Most will discuss your situation on the phone before you go in just to see if they'll handle your case...  find one that will.

Are your parents involved?  Maybe they could help you?  Good luck.

Answer 17

what a CROCK!  they're still trying to coerce you!

call legal aid or your lawyer.  this is despicable.  not to mention outragous and disgusting.

congrats on parenting!  your child will be a million times better off!

Answer 18

Liz as you know I am absolutely thrilled that you are keeping your beautiful baby boy

These people are trying to FRIGHTEN you into giving up your baby to them

They are Angry , they are sad, they want to hurt you and scare you

I understand that they are angry and sad, who isn't when they they think they are going to get something they want, but it doesn't excuse their bullying tactics like this.

ALL Prospective Adoptive Parents KNOW That there is a VERY REAL possibility no matter what the birth mother to be says , that they birth mother CAN And has EVERY RIGHT To change her mind.

THEY KNOW THIS before entering into a adoption plan

That is their risk.

You have done NOTHING Wrong and people who make comments that are nasty are just ignorant so please ignore them

CONGRATS AGAIN

Answer 19

CONGRATS!  You totally rock, Mom!  I commend your bravery!

Listen to those who say you ought to contact Origins and/or Cub.

You might want to record their calls with your machine for a record of harassment.  You could also tell the agency you'll call the police for harassing you.  Become Mama Bear!

Your 'business' with them is over, you've got more important things to do--mothering your child.

All the best to you.  xx

Answer 20

I dont know if that is a law or not, and its not criminal, but regardless, Im sure they can sue you for it in civil court and will probably win. Im sure there were alot of legal fees they had to pay up front and now becuase you changed your mind they are left broken hearted and taken.

Answer 21

No, you're not! Pre birth surrenders to my knowledge are not legal in the United States. You say that you changed your mind after birth, therefore nothing pre-birth could have been signed stating that you were legally surrendering your child to adoption.

This is a tactic they are using to GET YOUR BABY. They are in the business of supplying babies to couples/people who want to adopt them. One of the number one reasons for voluntarily surrendering ones child is financial concerns. If they can pressure you with more of a fear about finances they have a possiblity of you following through with the adoption.

Its wonderful that you have had this opportunity to see the true colors of the agency you almost trusted your childs life with. Congratulations on seeing the light and parenting your child. It takes a strong woman to do that and I commend you.

Answer 22

No it is not true. They are trying to financially pressure you to give them YOUR baby. The APs should have been advised of the risk. This is an old agency trick. I could probably guess the agency but will be nice, Email me if you need any help. If you let me know what state you are in I can look up the laws stating that what they are doing is illegal as h**l.

Congrats on your new bunddle of joy !!!!!!! My newest is 3 months so if you need baby clothes I have a ton lol. Enjoy your sweet baby

Answer 23

Hi Liz,

Congratulations on your new baby!

No, you are not responsible for this money.  This is one way that unscrupulous agencies attempt to use to convince mothers to relinquish their children.  After all, these agencies have customers who want babies.

You will, I'm sure, feel better after consulting an attorney.  However, I think it would also be good for you to consult with other moms who have been around the agency block.  Someone here pointed out Origins and  Concerned United Birthparents (CUB) .  There are a lot of very experienced, savvy moms (and dads) with both of these organizations who understand the whole relinquishment dance.  

No one owes anyone else their own flesh and blood child.  Children are not "payment," nor are they commodities.  They are not pawns, either.  This is your child.  It is the agency's job to provide children to waiting PAP's.  However, PAP's are all fully aware that it is the RIGHT of a mother to keep her child, even if she's been pretty sure she'll probably relinquish all along.  

To say you are responsible for legal expenses is ridiculous and incorrect.  The PAP's will have to spend money to pay for the agency fees no matter whose baby they end up adopting.

Please know that you are far from the first woman that an agency has attempted to coerce by dangling false bills in front of her face.  This is a prime example of an unethical agency.

Answer 24

You are only responsible for medicals bills and other expenses (hard costs) that you would have incurred had you not been planning to place your baby for adoption.

You are not responsible for legal fees and expenses for the adoptive couple unless they paid your medicals.  You do owe that, as well as rent, if the agency is paying that.

Answer 25

Contact a lawyer right away.

The agency might be trying to pressure you to give the baby to the couple.  Don't let anyone pressure you into giving the baby away!

Congratulations!!!

Answer 26

Absolutely, positively NOT.

What they are saying is illegal and unethical. It's a tactic they've used on many young mothers before.

Please follow Robin's advice - please contact OriginsUSA immediately for a referral for an experienced lawyer in adoption fraud and coercion.

Their webpage is

http://originsusa.memberlodge.org/

or

http://origins-usa.org

Either address should work

Or you can reach them via email at

[e-mail]

Please, do not do ANYTHING ELSE until you contact them, and please contact them immediately.

Answer 27

No.  Unless you signed something with the attorney specifically stating that, you are not responsible.  Adoptive parents sign a statement of risk indicating that they understand that the birthparents have the right to change their minds.

Answer 28

They are trying to scare you to have you place your child.

Do not do it!

No money was exchanged and their were no costs incrued.

Talk to a lawyer and enjoy your child.

much luck to you

Answer 29

My husband and I adopted twice and there are many fees (on the adoptive parents side) before an adoption is final.  We were told up front (long before a birthmother selected us) that if the adoptive mother changed her mind, by law she did not have to pay anything back, even if we paid all of her living expenses during pregnancy (clothes, food, phone, medical).  This is true in every single state even if you signed something.  As someone who went to great lengths to make sure the agency we worked with was reputable, I cringe when I hear horror stories like this.  Please contact ICPC (they have agencies in every state and I included a link to the national site with contact information).  They need to know that this agency/law office/whatever is not legitimate.

I would tell the agency that you are aware of the laws regarding adoption and to go pound sand.  If you are going to get an attorney, get them to put the request for funds in writing (and make sure they know why).  Once they realize you know your rights, they will likely run away.

Good luck and congrat's on your new baby...I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this when you should be able to just concentrate on your new baby!

Answer 30

I don't believe so. I would call a lawyer(most will give a free consultation.) You may be responsible for your medical expenses but not your living expenses. It sounds like the agency is trying to coerce you into changing your mind.

Get legal advice immediately!

Answer 31

Oh, yeah, there is no coercion in adoption "these days".  I wish I had a dollar for every time I read that here on Y!A.

No, you owe no money to these slime balls.  This a very common coercion technique that most of the commercial adoption mills use to get women to give their precious babies away to their paying customers.  Let me guess, they have also told you more lies - that:

- they will report you to social services

- your child will be a delinquent

- the adoptive parents are better than you are

- you are making a selfish decision

- the adoptive parents are devastated and you owe them something

- because you changed your mind, you are a weak person, therefore, will be a bad mother

- you are making a decision based on hormones and not on common sense

- your friends and family who promised to help you will ditch you soon

- you only want to play with your baby like it is a doll and don't understand the responsibilities of parenting

- you are ruining your chances at having a good career and getting a husband.

All lies!!!

The only thing that you owe these vultures is 2 middle fingers.

Once they are off your back, report their bottom feeding sorry butts to the state.  Hopefully, they will get their license pulled.

Congratulations, you are a Mommy!!!  Enjoy every moment.