Am I right NOT seeking help?

Question

I suffer from a combination of personal anxiety, social anxiety and I think depression. The social anxiety is the worst part where as the depression comes and goes.

Despite all this, being 31 and having suffered in this way (with my first episode of anxiety at the age of 15) I recognise the fact that I am a highly sensitive and sometimes paranoid person.

I function a 'normal' life with a well paid job and home. I have taken the choice not to get any medication or seek medical advice in the past (mainly as I don't want it on my medical records for work purposes). I feel that although I suffer a lot and feel very lonely and cut off I have developed a lot of coping mechanisms (particularly around the social anxiety which is prevalent in work). I suffer deep rage and anger which burns me up but again I cope with it by trying to go do something to take my mind off it.

Although these coping mechanisms cause a short term remedy I find within no time at all I am getting angry about something or someone in my own mind. The result is I spend my life constantly in a state of anger/angst and trying to calm myself down, calming myself down and then starting all again.

From the outside I appear perfectly normal so I am reluctant to seek any medical advice (I have coped up to the age of 31 without it). Despite this I feel I have a poor quality of life.

Am I better to just get on with it using the coping mechanisms I have developed and try and get out more etc or should I really be seeking medical advice? I am worried as I have noticed recently when I get really intense anger I begin to go a bit numb in the eyes and sort of just see darkness, but then this alarms me so I snap myself out of it and it goes away .. I have read a lot about anti depressants and the like being arguably no use and one is better just trying to do physical exercise etc ..

Please advise..

Answer 1

You're miserable, and you have to ask whether not seeking help was a good idea?

Here's the funny thing. Anxiety problems are REALLY treatable with even short-term therapy. No drugs required (unless you feel it necessary, I guess). It's so simple, and can improve your quality of life so much. Why won't you do it? Is it that important to be better than the system?

Of course, being angry and bitter all the time isn't great either. Again, therapy helps a lot.

What is the point of living a good life that you can't enjoy?

Get help.

Answer 2

I have paid a great attention to your report. I dare say, you MUST, spelt with capital  letters, look for medical advice. You MUST choose an experienced psychotherapist. I had similar phenomena after my retirement after 40 years of hard work. Only by strict medication, I succeeded in getting out of a very deep depression, anxiety and angtgefühle. Nowadays we are lucky to have first class specialists in this field. Be patient, constant and tenacious!

I wish you the very best!

Answer 3

Exercise is a good way to help with the stress of daily life, but if you are asking this question you are obviously struggling with this at the moment, so maybe your coping isn't the right way forward, more a way of continuing in this situation.

You can seek the help of a therapist privately and therefore it would not be on any medical records.

Answer 4

You should get a new prescription. Get the dosage changed.

Answer 5

If you have been using these coping methods for the last 15 years or so but still feel that you "have a poor quality of life" then I would say those methods are not working that great for you.

Just taking the first step and talking with a mental health professional isn't a commitment.  You can always choose to not continue or to change therapists.

It's worth a try to see if you can develop methods for having a life that is not of "poor quality."

Be curious to see if there is a way to a better life out there for you.  Reach out to the help that is out there.

Answer 6

I am sorry you are suffering. From what you say, it appears your coping mechanisms are not really efficient. I suggest that you may need to come up with coping mechanisms that work better, or go ahead and see a doctor. You might be pleasantly surprised what a little medical intervention can do.

Answer 7

Well first of all, are you sure there's no way to see a therapist or psychiatrist that won't end up being seen by your employer? Because you really shouldn't have to live like that: "constantly in a state of anger/angst and trying to calm yourself down." Don't you think 16 years is long enough?

If you're always upset and gritting your teeth like that *of course* you feel resentful and miserable. That's the kind of thing that becomes a vicious cycle. Of course you feel angry just having to keep so much pent up while others don't seem to, or while others are insensitive to it, or while others make you feel more stressed.

I'm not so sure about your self-diagnoses. I mean maybe you have depression and social anxiety. Only a professional can say.  But if anger is the thing that's bothering you the most, then I'd say anger is your biggest problem. It doesn't matter if there's no "anger disorder" in the DSM. Whatever's bothering you the most is the thing that's bothering you the most.