Am I socially immature?

Question

I almost don't even know how to ask this- but I'll give it my best shot. I am a strong person- I take care of finances for myself and my fiance. I am a planner, and very responsible. I am intelligent (a little above average- not a super genius, ha). I cannot seem to find friends my own age or even fit in with people my age. Everyone in my office thinks that I'm 22, fresh out of college. I'm almost 30, and have been out of college for several years. People are always shocked to find this. I look young- I'll give them that. But, I feel uncomfortable and awkward in serious situations and out of place with people my age and older (unless they have a parental way about them, you know?)

This all just hit me in the last couple of days... I want to be mature. I want people to take me seriously- but I don't know how to be serious! I don't know how to be professional! I am a professional interior designer, and I feel like a little kid in a grown up's world.

Answer 1

The reason everyone thinks you're so young is because of your playfullness, it's not immaturity. I'm 24 and very playful at work...to a fault. But the thing that works for me is I can sense when it's time to cut the c**p and get to business, its just a general tone in the environment that cues me. This way I can still be taken seriously and still have fun at work.

If people see that you get the job done in time, do it well, and speak up when you have something helpful to say re guarding business, they know you are serious about doing the job well. Otherwise, I think you are doing your job well while still having fun, good for you!

Answer 2

I just graduated a therapeutic boarding school, so I might be able to give some advice. I think you should just keep doing what you're doing. The way that you will earn their respect is by showing them you deserve it. Don't "try to be mature" because that will just end up badly and might even make you look immature. It may be frustrating for a while, but just push through it and they'll see eventually. Make sure you voice your opinions and ideas and let people see more of your personality. That might speed up the process. In the meantime, enjoy that you look young!!!

Answer 3

I expect that what you are facing happen more commonly than is known.

What I would say is (and you can take it however you want, I am by far no expert) that they way people show up around you, is the way you show up around them. This means that first impressions are vitally impotant to relationships. If you want to people to treat you as a professional, then you have to literally act professional around them, even if it feels out of the normal for you. Once you have done this for a while people will grow to accept you as you are and you will have got what you wanted.

Answer 4

Indeed, you are not alone, I'm over forty, I have some grey hair and I'm pretty respectable and appreciated in my field, nevertheless people keep dealing with me as with a kid; and to be honest I'm not even so playful. I don't know, it's the "face", the look in your eyes, your secret weakness that lurks through, or maybe that you just don't play the expected "role", doesn't matter how good you are at your own work. Maybe too much (self-)irony that prevents you from taking yourself seriously for the first. Take it easy and live on,maybe it will change in time, maybe not. Good luck, sis.

Answer 5

You are not socially immature. Just keep being yourself and one day when you are older you will be thankful you are playful because younger people and kids will be able to bond with you more and people your age and older will wish tey were like you. I have a teacher who is only 6 years older than me and many of us students consider her our friend. She sometimes comes to us about her colleagues feeling she is  immature for her age, but her "immaturish" bond with her students has led her to be counted on many times to help out the principals. Just be yourself you are who you are supposed to be.