Am I stepping out of line?

Question

Well, I'm a Big Brother to a 6 y/o boy. I picked him up last week and we went fishing and had a pretty good time.

I'm going to be picking him up again on Saturday to go putt-putt golfing and some ice cream.

He has no Dad, and the Mom is single and just started a new job.

Well, here's the question.

Would I be out of line to take him to the store and buy him some new clothes?

I picked him up last week and he had on these little shorts (too short in my opinion)

Then he had socks pulled up all the way.

Would I be out of line to maybe picking him up. Going to Target and buying him an outfit? (more today's style)

Maybe some ankle socks?

In my opinion if the boxer shorts he wears are just as long as the regular shorts he wears.....the shorts are too short.

But would I offend the Mom if I went out and did that?

I don't want any hurt feelings. The kid is very cute. I just don't like to see him dress sort of goofy.

I didn't just want to take him, and bring him back with a new outfit, and have him Mom be mad.

Any thoughts?

Maybe I could just say I was going to the store for myself and he liked them so I bought them for him.

I think a pair of sandles and some cargo shorts would be cool.

Answer 1

well ask the kid if he would like to dress differently and if he says yes then ask the mom first if you could take him out to buy some new clothes but ask him first so that she doesnt think that you are the one critisizing how she dresses her kid but if it makes him uncomfortable to dress that way then  he shouldnt have to.

Answer 2

Just make it a treat. I wouldn't be that bothered unless they were completely inappropriate- so you could get something similar, just more cool. Get a pack of ankle socks so that he doesn't just have one pair, a cheap pair of trainers, and some cargo shorts. If you get him sandles his Mom might go down the sandles + socks road which is just not good.

Do you have enough money to be going and buying him a new outfit though?

Good luck- its a really nice thing to do!

Answer 3

First of all your a really nice guy and someone should tell you that! You can  figure out something. You could take him to Walmart and get one of those portrait packages for as little as $10 and make it a special present to Mommy fron the boy. Of course he would need clothes and Moms love pictures. This would also give him a proud moment and memories that will last. You could have him make an invitation to his Mom to meet him somewhere and have him surprise her with a picnic date w/Mom. After your day of fun. Sometimes we all forget to teach the little things that can make childhood so special. Good luck and keep up the awesome work. In the long run this kid is lucky to have you set that kind of example. Role models are hard to find.

Answer 4

You definitely wouldn't be out of line if you were taking him shopping for clothes. Being that he has no father, he needs a male figure in his life and one thats around his age is good. You're definitely older than him, but you know what I mean. Any who, if you feel funny, just ask his mother and I'm sure she'll say its okay, plus it makes for good bonding. Have fun!  

Answer 5

I don't think that is stepping out of line. I bet the mom wants to get him new clothes, but can't afford it & would probably appreciate the new outfit for her  little boy. I would say be a little careful though. Don't go out and buy him something that makes him look like a gangster or way over the top for his age. Stay a little conservative, but find something that will help him be in style and fit in a little better.

Just tell the mom that you are going to take him out to choose a gift. She won't argue to that.  

Answer 6

no in fact she'd probably really appreciate it. I have no problem when someeone buys any of my children clothes. There always needed!

Answer 7

i don't think it would be stepping out of line but i see were the mom might get offended maybe say he spilled something on his first outfit

Answer 8

I don't think so, just tell her you wanted to get him something you should ask him what he thinks about it and what he thinks his mon would say about it and go from there

Answer 9

i would ask the mother if its ok with her. It not right just doing stuff like that and not asking the parent first. If she says no then whatever you shouldnt not a big deal but if you go out and do it without her permission she'd probably get mad. i dunno my mom use to get mad at my aunt when she took me out or something without her permission and my b/f gets mad when his daughter gets stuff from his grandmother without asking him first.

Answer 10

First of all I think it's great that you are a big brother! That's one of the kindest things someone could do for another person! Second of all it's even sweeter that you are so concerned about this boy and how he dresses. It may really give him a self esteem boost to take him shopping with you and help him pick something new out. Who knows he may never have had new clothes (hand me downs or salvation army maybe) and I think it's a really good idea! Just talk to the mom first. Just say 'hey I was going to go shopping and I wanted to take (the boy) with me, if he sees something he likes would it be ok for me to get it?" Let her know that you don't want to do anything to upset her so if it's not cool then you won't do it. Let her know that you are just looking for some new activities for you and the child and there is no harm intended. This way if you just ask you will know how she feels and no ones feelings will get hurt and no one will get mad. Good luck

P.S. A+++++

Answer 11

Ok here goes.....would you like to take on my boys?

Just ask mom specifically:

What can I do to help out with his back to school needs?

Let her know that you have a little extra money and would be honored to see it go to the needs of this precious young man.

You can make this offer without it sounding like she is not doing enough for her child.

Answer 12

Honey, God bless you for being a Big Brother!  You're definitely going to leave a lasting impression and mark in this precious Darlin's life!

I honestly believe that not only would you make that little man's heart swell with pride by taking him shopping for new things, you'd also lift the burden from that young mom's heart and make her eternally grateful to you for doing so!  I was once a single mom, and burdens of providing for my kids was overwhelming!  Hubby was a 'deadbeat' in every sense of the word, and would do anything in his power to keep from paying child support.  I worked 3 jobs and was only able to provide the necessities for my kids.  Clothing was a necessity, and I made sure they were clothed, but any help was greatly appreciated!  Our church helped at Christmas time, and even the ex inlaws helped...tears of joy and relief flowed freely that Christmas, as it was all I could to to keep the bills paid and the wolf from my door.

If I were you, I'd just come out and ask if she'd be offended by your taking him shopping for new clothing.  She'll be honest with you, Hon.  You will also be able to judge by the reaction on her face.  I'd just approach it in a manner that she isn't suspicious to the fact that you feel he's 'dressing goofy.'  Make the suggestion seem as though you'd just like to treat him to a special day.  I'm sure everything will work out fine for you...and that precious family!

God bless you, Hon, for all that you're doing in this child's life.  Your life will be richly blessed by being a blessing to others!

God's blessings on you and yours...Always!

P.S.  Please, let me know how this works out.  My email address is listed on my profile.  Put:  Big Brother On Yahoo Answers in the subject line so that I'll know that it's you.  Again, God bless you!  You've thrilled my soul!

Answer 13

Ask Mom first.  We grew up with an absent Dad and had men as surrogate fathers for quite a few years, I am not sure if my Mom would have been offended at this scenario or not.  As a Mom myself I would be more then happy to let you do so, IF you talked to me about it beforehand.

Answer 14

Yes, you'd be stepping out of line. I think, that would be a criticism

message for his mom, and  perhaps she'll be mad.

Talk with his mom first, in a friendly/supportive way, and show to her your disposition to share/help with the kid.

Answer 15

I would ask the mom first if she would not mind if you took him to get some clothes.  I am sure with her situation that she would probably not mind at all.  Keep up the good work with this child!  You are doing a great thing!

Answer 16

hmm. I agree with what another girl said maybe you could just do it and see how she reacts, but then she might be offended you didn't ask her. But if you do ask her that might be even worse. My little brother has a worker, he is handicapped, and she helps my mom, usually because he can't get around very well my mom just bought him like cloth shorts you know gym shorts and sweat pants for school and everyday, but his worker bought him TONS of clothes because she wanted to see him wear more jeans and fashionable stuff, my mom LOVED it! I would maybe just do it and if she says anything you could just tell her you had to go get something at Target and didn't want him to be left out, or maybe tell her you had to get a pair of jeans for something and wanted to include him?  

Answer 17

I would just take him shopping, and tell the mom you like to spoil your little bro.  She'll appreciate it, single moms usually have a hard time affording those things.

Answer 18

Ask the mom first.

Answer 19

As a single parent, I would get upset if you brought him home in a new outfit. Being a single parent is a challenge, and more times than not, we don't like to accept gifts from others. If you feel real strong about it, maybe you can mention to her that you would like to get him a new outfit for school, or some other big occasion coming up.  

Answer 20

Tell her you found some stuff on sale or clearence at a store and wanted to pick up some things he seemed to like.

Answer 21

i think that would b sweet

just explain to the mom that u wanted to get him a little gift

Answer 22

i think that would be a really sweet gesture. his mother will probably be grateful to you. i am not sure what her financial situation is, but maybe she is unable to afford new clothes for him. to make sure that it was okay with the mother, if i were you, i would bring the clothes over and not say anything to the boy about it. then you can tell his mother you wanted to buy him a gift but wanted to check with her before you handed it over to him. i think that will make her feel more involved, you know?  

Answer 23

I would ask her first. Just say hey I was going shopping at Target do you care if I get him a new outfit for school, if he is school age, chances are she will appreciate it. But I really think you should ask her. It would make me feel weird if someone did that with my child other than immediate family.

Answer 24

I'm sure she would actually appreciate the extra money although it is a tiny bit insulting she would appreciate what you did

Answer 25

Well...  I dont have too much experience with kids but I do know that some kids like a certain sock or a certain short...he may dress like that b/c he likes those clothes...I dont think you should buy him new clothes.  If he had shoes that were too small then yes or his shorts really didnt fit then yes or his shirt had holes in it then ya but talk to the mom first before doing anything.  You would probably offend her. Just be the big brother...not the parent!

Answer 26

Well it depends on if he has a prideful Mother. I doubt she is considering the fact that his clothes are too small and he has a big brother. I am sure she would appreciate the help, and dont think too much into it. People love buying stuff for children, it's not out of the ordinary. Getting him some nice new socks sounds nice. Have fun shopping, that is really great of you.  

Answer 27

yes do that :]

i think it would be very sweet of you to do that for him.

Answer 28

No you wouldnt be out of line!  Just take him shopping, buy him some clothes and tell his mom you just wanted to buy him something special.  I am sure she will appreciate it!

Answer 29

I know a lot of people are saying that would be great, but I think the mum might be offended. Also, do you know that that wasn't the outfit the boy chose to wear when he went out with you? He could have other clothes but as it was his special day his mum might have let him choose what to wear and he chose that. Little kids sometimes do have a funny fashion sense! I think it's nice of you to want to help out the family, but you don't know them very well yet and if you become the guy that buys him everything while his mum is the one that has him most of the time so obviously has to say 'no' sometimes, then she might start to resent his relationship with you. If I were you I would continue to take him out and have a good time with him, and maybe in a couple of weeks buy him a new t shirt or a pair of shorts or whatever, but give it to his mum. Say, 'I saw this and thought .... might like it.' That way it's up to her if she puts him in it, and she probably will, and she'll think what a thoughtful man you are. Do not buy him a complete new outfit with shoes, socks, etc. And don't go with him specifically to buy clothes. If my child came home with someone they hadn't known for long with a new shirt, new shorts, new socks and new sandals that they had been taken to buy I would take that as you thinking my child was not dressed properly by me.

Answer 30

do it! she will most likely be happy about it and appriciate it!  she might not be able to afford new clothes and you getting him 1 outfit because you like the kid will only help her out(: