Am I supposed to act on this...?

Question

I have a best guy friend, we are both 18. He knows I like him, (im in love with the guy) and so things were always a little akward. But in the past few months we've really got on. we tease constantly, playfight, hug etc.

The last two times we slept at a friends house together, we've been tipsy. Both occasions, as soon as the lights have gone out, he's rolled over to face me and waited for a reaction- as soon as I moved to face him, he's grabbed my hand and held it all night and slept with our faces next to each other.

Then tonight on msn, at 3am he came online saying he'd been out drinking, he said he was pretty drunk, but he could still type pretty normally. He was like, "oh youre here! that makes me happy!"

Then as we were saying goodbye, he came out with "wish u wer here, its always so much better sleep when ur here but hey ho" and so I said aww same to you too, then he said "sleep well, make sure u txt me 2mz!!!"

What does all this mean?? Am I supposed to act on this, or forget he said it?

Answer 1

This guy feels just the same as you. He cares about you and probably loves you. (I say probably because strong affection can often be mistaken for love- that’s not his fault neither is it a ruse.)

There can be no absolute certainties where feelings are concerned. But that is what love is about. Trust. I’d suggest, if he doesn’t say anything the next time you sleep at a friend’s and hold hands before going to sleep, tell him how you feel. Say something like ‘you know, I really care about you.’

Or speak to him the next day. Say something similar and hope he doesn’t say he was drunk! (Which I doubt!)

At least get the conversation started and I think you’ll find you he’ll respond and you’ll suddenly find yourself with a partner.

Good luck. (Though it sounds like you don’t need it!)

Answer 2

if i were you

i would hint around to it the next day

but make it something that would be kind of normal for you to say

or that can seem like a joke

because if he was sober enough to have meant it he would defintley remember and know what you were getting at

and if he were really really drunk and didnt remember then it wont seem like a really different thing for you to say or joke about anyways

even if he was drunk though it came from somewhere

so i pretty much feel like there must be soemthing there and what can you lose from going for it?

sooo i'd gett it if i were you

:]

Answer 3

It's evident tipsy or otherwise. he thinks a good deal of you.

There's no need to act on what he said: treat it as reassurance that he is thinking of you.

As his movements were fairly well co-ordinated I'd guess he was not totally drunk.

One of the effects of alcohol is that it tends to reduce our inhibitions and we say and possibly do things we would not do in a state of total sobriety.

It's because I feel he was not 100% drunk he probably will remember what he said and if you make direct reference to it, it may embarrass him. He may want to be the one to ask you to prgress the friendship onto a more serious footing.  The fact that he grabbed your arm and you slept together with your faces next to each other should tell you that.  

  

Text him tomorrow and just say "hope you had a good night's sleep" along with anything else you want to say. I would suggest telling him that you really care for and about him and can't wait to be with him. I think though he is now thinking of you as more than just a good friend.

As a best friend you could in a positive way point out to him the harm he is doing to himself if he makes a habit of getting drunk.  I shouldn't do this just now but if it becomes regular it may be beneficial too.  My own feeling is this won't be necessary.

It seems to me that you have a fine and respectful young man  as a best friend.  Develop that friendship and it could well develop into a more permanent one.

I've answered loads of questions on friendship and amongst the principles involved are trust, toleranace, and respect.  Base your developing relationship with that in mind and you won't go far wrong.

Good luck to you and your friend.  I wish you both all the very best.