Am I supposed to be her friend now?

Question

A new girl at the office, my same age, being that there's mostly 40 yr. olds in the office. She said we should have lunch to get to know each other. Well a day or so after I ask if she would want to have lunch this week or next and she said sure maybe go to In n Out or some steak place. I told her I was Veg. and she was nice about it, but she started with the questions: length of time and how she tried it for 4 mths until she ate the In n Out burger. ( i guess she didnt try hard enough) and why I went Veg. I said I'm an animal lover and she counteracts w/well me and my boyfriend are animal lovers, and its the cycle of life, there are animals that are meant to be eaten, that her boyfriend is a hunter and he eats the meat uses the fur and etc so it wont go to waste. my jaw dropped because I thought geez what's with the questions. she even questioned if I had to be w/someone who is veg. I said yes and she asked why. I'm bothered by the convo, what should i do? have lunch with her?

Answer 1

My girlfriend's vegetarian, and whenever we meet someone new if she answers the first few questions then she can expect to get grilled for the next half hour. The new girl probably just thinks she's making small-talk and doesn't realize you get this all the time -- to cut that conversation short, you can just say, "It's a personal choice," and then ask her about herself to change the subject.

Answer 2

I would still have lunch with her and just say that to each their own.  No one is forcing her to be a vegetarian, and she obviously feels guilty about it because she is trying to justify her actions and why she eats meat.  If she tried to become a vegetarian at a certain point in her life, she still did it for a reason regardless if it was short lived.  You don't have to have a family with this woman, just be friendly and brush it off as to each their own.

Answer 3

People are naturally curious about things that are different. I she is not attacking you personally then she just wants to know more information. People who choose not drink alcohol, different cultures, religions, races go through the same thing or worse. If you answer her questions and educate her about your beliefs you could help her understand and maybe change some of her perspectives. Be a good representative of the vegetarian community and be friendly. If you ever get beat up, have people clutch their purse a little tighter, or pulled over because you look vegetarian then you can have a reason to be hostile towards someone.

Answer 4

yea she's some animal lover.  don't you love that? ohhhh i love puppies and animals!  now let me eat my steak... lol oh man...

yea go to lunch but if it comes up tell her you don't like to discuss your diet while your eating but another time you'd be happy to explain or send her information if she's interested in it.

Answer 5

Go to lunch with her. If she brings up your "diet" just say, it's who I am and what I believe. If she is your friend she will accept you that way and not grill you with questions. If she continues to question you and even criticize you, drop her. Who needs friends like that?

BTW yes, I believe you can love animals in general and stil be a meat eater. But hunting? Sorry I draw the line there. We are not living in the stone age or 1800's where we need to kill animals for our survival. I think hunters are in it for the thrill and challenge of the kill. If you want to make it a "sport", give the animals guns too!

Answer 6

Its your choice weather or not to be friends with her.  I probably wouldn't be able to deal with it though.

Answer 7

Have lunch with her but tell her you do not want to discuss your diet.  If she continues to ask questions and making you uncomfortable then don't be her friend.

Answer 8

It sounds to me as if she was just making conversation. It was probably just small talk as far as she was concerned - she doesn't know you and she picked a topic she knew interested you, asked you questions and gave you her views.

I can't see a problem. She's not going to want to talk about your eating habits EVERY time you chat.

Yes, go for lunch with her; she's new, she doesn't know anyone else there.

Your turn to show an interest in her and ask her about herself

Answer 9

If it bothers you that much to talk about it, be straightforward.  Tell her you'd rather not talk about it anymore.  If she keeps pushing and gives you a hard time about not eating certain foods, tell her that it is your decision.  Basically, let her know that you aren't going to her and trying to convince her NOT to eat meat....so you'd appreciate it if she's stop trying to convince you TO eat meat.  Simple as that.  If she can't respect your wishes, then she might not be worth being friends with...principal.

But don't discount her right away.  It wouldn't be fair to not try to have a friendship with someone that could genuinely be a good person.  When someone is not used to or doesn't know much about a certain lifestyle, they can't help but ask questions.  I know that I have caught myself asking vegans how in the world they can handle it (I just can't imagine a life w/out meat...all my meals are centered around it), but I forget that not everyone thinks the same way as me.  

Let her know how you feel.  Never be afraid to be honest.  Careful of your wording to ensure that you don't come off sounding uppity.

Answer 10

I've been vegetarian just for two years now, but wish I'd gone veggie sooner

I hate it when people are like that. Not long ago I was chatting with two friends and we were talking about diets and spoke about vegetarianism.

My one friend suddenly became very defensive and dismissive of everything I was saying. It was as though she thought I was trying to 'preach' to her or something. I know she wouldn't have acted in the same way if she was talking to some one who isn't vegetarian. She kept questioning me about it and in a very patronising way.

I didn't understand why she was being like this and found it quite upsetting. I've come to the conclusion that it was in some way fear. She felt bad (about eating animals I presume), so to make herself feel better she tried to make me feel bad. I guess it's the same with your friend.

I think you should go for lunch with her, but if she continues to act like this don't speak to her. Just block her out of your life, because she's not worth it.

Answer 11

Yikes.

Playing 20 questions about your lifestyle is highly uncool. What difference does it make to her?

If you feel comfortable enough, you can still eat lunch with her. But if she starts asking a load of questions again, politely try to steer the convo in another direction. If that still doesn't work, just ask her to stop asking you so many questions about your diet. Just tell her that it's personal and you'd rather not get into it.

Answer 12

if she is ur friend nothing should come between u 2

Answer 13

I wouldn't have lunch with her.  She sounds like an air-head.  I would tell her that you don't have time or that you just can't.  If she asks why just tell her you don't like to get the 5th degree from people.

Or do have lunch with her and have your retorts ready, because she probably has a million more questions.

That situation would bother me too, but I have an answer for every question and I am getting used to those rude questions.

Tell her to go to www.meat.org to show her why you feel the way you do.  Sometimes the best answer to a stupid question is just "www.meat.org".  

Good luck and take care...

Answer 14

Geeze get your nose out of the air you might drown when it rains. Just because somebody eats meat does not make them any less of an animal lover than you. It sounds like when she asked you a question you got all defensive. Maybe you have other common interests and just let her know that each other's diet is not a good subject to talk about.