Am I supposed to feel this way?

Question

I'm 16 almost 17. It seems like I can never get a break. I'm sorry if this comes off as a unnecessary rant, but I need to get it off my chest.

I've been feeling really bad lately. I'm going into my senior year. I feel so bad, I've screwed up my high school years. I've gotten mediocre at best grades, I don't have any real talents or abilities worth mentioning, I feel as if I'll be a pass over candidate for college. My SAT scores were average and the only extracurricular activity I do is manage the lacrosse team.

My friend took a college tour to Connecticut where he looked at Harvard, Dartmouth, Cornell, MIT, Wesleyan, and some other schools. He got an 1920 on the SAT, he's really smart and he already knows what he wants to do in his life. Engineering. I have no clear vision of what my life ahead will be.

I just got a new car last week. A brand new Honda Civic 2008. I didn't deserve it. The only reason I got it is because my mom won't have to pay 25 dollars a day for a transportation service to come and pick me up from school. We couldn't get a used one, because the monthly payments were higher. I'm happy I got it, but I feel like I really didn't deserve it. There are many kids who would love to have a new car...

My family members, my mom and her sisters have been fighting often and I don't like it. One of them came to live with us and she's already created a web of lies. It makes me sick to think of it.

I don't want to let my parents down, but I think I might. My dad wants me to be in the medical profession and have alot of money. My mom wants me to stay in state for college and go to this college near us. It's ok, but I would want to see what the out of state experience is. I really don't want to let my parents down, even though I feel as if I might be.

I hate thinking about s*x everyday. It bugs me. I'm trying to curb my attraction, but nothing seems to be working. I realize that s*x isn't the only thing in the world, but sometimes that's all I can think of. It gets on my nerves. I might want to consider meditation so I can get a stronger mind.

I feel so corrupt.

There's alot more, but I don't want to bore you with my life.

I remember when I was in middle school, I didn't have to deal with all of this. I really miss those days.

That's it.

Also, don't tell me I need Prozac or any other antidepressant medicine. I'm fine. I'm not depressed. That seems to be the only answer people give these days.

Answer 1

Yo i read all of that. its natural to feel the way you do. i graduated in may and still dont know what to do with my life. its good to get things off your chest though, venting. You got a new car you should be happy. yes alot of other people would like to have a brand new car but that doesnt mean you shouldnt enjoy it.

i have a case worker and i told her about my dad, cuz hes demanding the way your dad and mom are, about what they want you to do, this and that. but the fact is, your 18 now, your an adult, and should be respected for any decision you make. Try to tell your parents that you respect what they have to say and thank them for the support of giving you a car and such, but that you dont really know what you want to do yet.

if you go to college just get your basics out of the way, this can last a year or two until you finally decide what you want to major in. i really miss the past too but we all gotta grow up sometime i guess.

just dont let them get to you, and try to explain to them that your now and adult and can make your own decisions. i know you want to make your parents proud, but im sure htey would be proud when you've found something that you truly want in life.

yeah i kind of agree with anti depressants and sometimes disagree. i have schizophrenia affective disorder and dont take anti depressants. i know they would help but i feel i can manage without them. sucks that so many people post that as the only way to get out of a rut.

if you ever need the support add my profile and hit me up on the messengers

Answer 2

I live in Australia, so things may be different in the US, however I know that after the initial round of University intake,  nobody EVER asked me for my highschool grades. Which was just as well - they were pretty dodgy.

About the only suggestion I can make for your parents, make sure that they understand that you love them. They also need to understand that it's YOUR life. They want what's best for you, and that's because they love you, but you have the right to make and learn from your own mistake.

I had no idea what I wanted to do when I left school, I studied at uni, finished up there, took a job in the criminal justice system, changed to the health and community services sector and learnt an awful lot about myself along the way. I'm not where I want to be eventually, but every experience I have helps me to refocus my goals on what will make me happy. It's not always what I would assume. Live your life, experience as much as you can and you'll find your way.

At the moment my mother is terribly proud of me, but sad that I live so far away (12 hour drive), and my father disapproves of his daughter going into management and warns me that my job is 'too stressful'. It's my life, I love my parents, but they can't plot out the course of my life, that would lead to bitterness and regrets in years to come.

As for your thoughts of s*x, that's hormones. It's perfectly natural and everyone has those thoughts almost constantly at your age. It's got nothing to do with being corrupt, and everything to do with being a healthy member of the human race.

Answer 3

im a junior going to be a senior and they say that junior year is h**l year cause its the hardest and sophomore and junior year is what collages look at. i dont have talent to sadly. I have also bee receiving decent grades since freshman year but this year i decided to try and work really hard for junior year. Even if your a senior you can still do it. My parents also want me to be a nurse. I really dont want to but i dont think i really have a choice. I also have aunts and and uncle and a grandma living with me and OMG it is soooooo annoying i cant even watch t.v. cause they watch teh same channel all the time and i have no privacy so i just stay in my room. Try avoiding them lol i mean like dont like close them off your life just try staying in your room or something. Oh and about s*x yeah its not just you thinking about it everyone does that's definitely normal... Im having the same problems as you. This is normal in some way. I got a car too btw lol its a toyota corolla S. heyyy umm i have AIM talk to me i think we can help each other out :]]]]]]       Juneyyfosho

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Answer 4

yea h hormones need remotes we know...its rough....hagn in there....CONSIDER asking Jesus into your heart...He can help if you are willing....OOO

Answer 5

See the larger picture. In most countries, teens after high school go straight into jobs for the rest of their life, and if they are lucky, have some other persuit. In other countries, working in agriculture or what not is all they can do. For the people in your class, is it likely they will continue to succeed at everything without faultering or dropping out, or perusing something else? See the endless possibilities of your situation.  

Answer 6

It's mama dream to see children graduate college. You! also will find easier to make living when you have some above high school diploma. Don't need to force yourself for getting top rank university if it's end up bring you down even worst.

I see some people more to practical than academic. So, if you find yourself a practical person than try to temper your self in practical skill. If you still have strong motivation on academic even you find out you are lean more to practical, than, you might consider Polytechnic instead of university. Find out your true capability & make decission base on that.

Success not came from how high your education are, but on how do you use your either limited or abundant knowledge, skill & will at most.

Congrat for your new car but you should see it as your asset that you need to utilize it at it's most (for sample: you might find part time job with it while continue with your education, or maybe you find other productive idea)

About people around you, they have their own problem and you have your own already. Help other when you can, have concern about other including your family but help your self 1st.

Answer 7

It sounds like you are being alittle hard on yourself. At least your trying to do better. Most people don't even care. I wasted about $15,000 of my parents money on 2 years of college of which the second year I flunked every class. It took a while but they got over it. I wasn't very proud of myself either. I felt terrible about myself. God has a funny way of making things happen though. If I would have stayed in college and furthered my education, I would have never met my husband. We met at a crappy job we both hated. We bettered ourselves after we met and just kept reaching for better things. Now we both have jobs we love and we're very happy. Me and my parents get along better then we ever have before. As far as your family fighting, leave that up to them. At this time in your life with school and hormones raging, you don't need the extra drama. Trust me, at one point in my life, I felt the way that you do. I cried all the time. Just remember that if you are doing the best you can then things will get better. You seem like a good hearted person and that is worth more then you think. Maybe there is a plan already set for you and all you need to do is go with the flow.