Am I the crazy one or what?

Question

My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and we’ve been constantly fighting because she thinks it is OK to go out to dinner with a guy, or have a guy over to watch a movie on a Friday night. She sees nothing wrong with this because these guys are “just friends” while I’m not comfortable with it. I finally broke up with her because she will not admit that there is anything wrong with going out to dinner with other guys that I don’t know. Is it right to feel this way?

Answer 1

Well, it's understandable that you feel that way because someone else might be out to get your girl and your girl might be attracted by someone else. She sounds pretty confident of the relationship and probably doesn't see anything wrong with what she does, if she dumps you for someone else then she probably would have said it or feels guilty about it, you shouldn't feel guilty if you're doing normal friend stuff with girls, too, and you still think of her as your gf. There are certain things you share with your girlfriend that others can't no matter how close friends she becomes with other guys like communication, understanding, respect and trying to reaffirm that she is yours is just going to aggrevate her till she feels your insecurity will damage your relationship.

I think you need to tell her how her actions make you feel, that you won't stop her from doing them if she wants, but letting her know that you care deeply for her happiness and that you wish you could be there to fulfill her happiness and that this inability to show it to her means you feel disadvantaged by distance and time. If she understands what you mean then she will be your gf no matter how many places she goes with other guys, she will reserve what she deems important in your relationship for you alone and that may be her virginity, her secrets, etc.

Answer 2

i think you are a bit insecure, if there was anything really going on with these men, trust me, you wouldn't even know that she was seeing them!

if its a problem, find yourself a girl with no male friends so you feel more secure and less jealous.

Answer 3

i have my guy mates over and go out with them all the time? if she was like going on a romantic dinner or something then yeah but i think if ya love her you should just trust her? :)

Answer 4

your a being a jealous d**k head there is nothing wrong with your girlfriend going out to dinner with guy friends and there is nothing wrong with her spending time with guys. you need to get over your jealousy and let her spend time with her friends. its not the best way to feel and i think your over reacting, its normal to be jealous but not as jealous as you are being right now. well thanks what i think about this.  

Answer 5

well my friend thats why i dont do distant relationships you never even know if its truly the s*x you think it is

Answer 6

if you couldnt trust her in the first place chances are you wouldnt have trusted her later on in the relationship. Trust me, sometimes (although we hate to agree) but sometimes when you have that gut feeling that something is wrong, your ussually right. I am having a similar situation with my boyfriend. But the true reality is, if you cant trust em, you cant love em. Cause loving someone means you trust them with all your heart. And your situation didnt sound like you trusted your ex enough. So maybe it was for the best since everything happens for a reason. Well anyways i'll shutup and wish you good luck :)

Good Luck !  

Answer 7

Of course your right to feel the way you do.  You two just have different views of what is okay within the realtionshsip.  It wont work, you were right to break it off.  Find someone who shares your views of loyalty.  *personally, I wouldnt like my BF entertaining other girls so for the record, im on your side,,,but there are plenty of people who are very accepting.  Find a better match.

Answer 8

Holy S%&$ !

You poor man, There is definitely something wrong with her not you.

I actually find it bizarre that she thinks thats fine, your not crazy but you'd be crazy not to move on.

RUN !         Find someone else !

Answer 9

dude i would have felt the same too,. but i think, if you truly loved her? you should maybe trust her, and if things go the wrong way, hey! its not your loss isnt it? if something happens, forgive her, if it happened again,. then broke up with her, then if she truly loves you, she should be crawling back to you,  and you do the rest

Answer 10

whoa, If you cant trust her, then your better off with this break up. , I got out of a long distance relationship like 9 months ago, he was my bf of four years, and I couldnt bring myself to trust him, I thought to myself, He would meet someone else, hang out with that person a lot more and things would happen so I did what you did, and I wouldnt be there to catch him doing anything. I do kind of regret it since I had nothhing to base this on but the long distance thing doesnt really work out anyway.

Answer 11

I wouldn't trust it, girls can be manipulative (yea, who knew?) I think its perfectly alright to feel that way.  If she doesn't respect your opinion, then she may not respect you in other ways hon.

Answer 12

Sounds like you are in the right to me. Long distance is so hard, both parties have to be committed to keeping it alive.  If you want the relationship one way and she wants it another, then something's gotta give.  You can find someone closer.

"If you can't be with the one you love,

love the one you're with.

doo-doot doot doot doot doot doo-doo."

Answer 13

Yeah, you are the crazy one.

It is all about trust. You obviously do not trust her to have “guy friends”. If she says he is a friend, you have to trust he is a friend. A relationship is built on trust and honesty. If you cannot trust her, you really shouldn’t be in a relationship with her.

There is nothing inherently wrong with a girl having a boyfriend and having “guy friends”. There is also nothing wrong with her spending time with them. You should have no reason to worry or be upset if she assures you they are going to dinner or a movie strictly as friends. Do you expect her to sit at home by herself every Friday night just because she is in a relationship with you? You are feeling insecure about the relationship, and that is why you are upset about it. If you were confident in the relationship and trusted her completely, it wouldn’t bother you at all.