Am I the only one with Apophenia?

Question

Why does this seem to be so debilitating to me? It's not one or two coincidences. It's ultimately a complete coat-tailed lifetime of hindsight, indecisiveness, frustration and depression. Unfortunately I have not been able to channel all this cryptic consciousness into something creative. It's almost like I'm living the real Truman Show. I'm nobody without it. Is it nothing without me?

Answer 1

I have it too.

Answer 2

Well, first off, you're not the first person diagnosed with apophenia (or you'd probably have the disorder eponymously named after you!).  If it is as debilitating as you've expressed, I'd strongly suggest seeing your health care practitioner.  Although there is a reason we call it "practicing" medicine, as it is not an exact science, apophenia can be a symptom of other disorders (schizophrenia).  I'm not diagnosing you by any means (so please don't feel that this connection we've made is karmic), I would suggest discussing the fact that it's become debilitating and, as you mentioned, causing "depression."  You have a heightened awareness to yourself in connection with your environment, and tend to see connections where others may not.  To add other adage, "hindsight is 20/20," because people gain insight from their choices and consequences.  Be thankful that you learn from them.  I hope you gain insight not only to your perception but also reach out to your physician to properly manage what has become something that is causing you emotional distress.