Am I too Young to get engaged/married?

Question

I've loved my boyfriend for 4 years, we been dating a year and 8 months, we've been living together for a year and a month. I graduated when I was 17. Ill be 19 this september. He turned 22 in march. I live the life of someone older responsibility wise. I really want to have kids within the next 2 -5 years. 5 at Most. I really want to be married before that happens. I want his last name before we have a child. Is it too soon to get engaged so I can start planning a wedding for 1-2 years down the road?

Answer 1

ok im 17 turning 18  soon and ive been goin out wit mi boyfriend for 2 years and 5 monthe u wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy to young to think og marrage get married wen urr 22 have a kid we ur 29 because make you u live ur life because after a child u cant go to all the places u wanted to go travel live ur life before a kid

Answer 2

wait anther 6 to 10 years than start pushing out babies, live your life some more, enjoy yourself do some world travel, and see do something interesting / exciting, while establishing your career, petty of time for domestic dullness later in life.    

Answer 3

We met when I was 19 he was 21 and didn't get married until we finished  school at 27 and 29 yrs. It was definitely worth the wait because we changed so much through our experiences in college and although we had some tough times, in the end we found that it was worth the wait (8yrs to be exact!).

Amazingly we got pregnant on our honeymoon and now our baby is 16 months and it was all worth the wait because we are more able to provide for her and are confident parents.  Good luck but I think the wait is the best!  

Answer 4

Uhm.. NO! Haha; Me and my now husband started dating when I was 16, he was 17, He proposed when I was barely 18, Its now been almost two years since our wedding and we are trying to have a baby.

I will be 20 Sept 2nd!

Is that young or what? I am aso happy though, and I couldn'y imagine my life any other way. I am alot more mature then most people my age. If you guys have been together for almsot two years and your still gojng stong, why not? even if you get engaged now, it doesnt mean you have to be married with-in the year.

Do what your heart tells you to! If he is ready aswell, and wants this, then there is no reason not too, as long as you know that Marriage IS Forever!

Take care, and good luck!

Answer 5

Honestly, the statistics for young marriages are not good.  Its a lot harder and a lot more complicated.  Enjoy being together and doing fun things, then decide about marriage.  Don't rush life!  I was the same way about wanting to get married young, but realized how great it was to go through my 20's having fun and being free of responsibility.  Ultimately its your decision, but think it through a lot!  You never know what the next few years hold for you!

Answer 6

If you love each other and are already living together, what's the rush to make it legal?  

You are still maturing and evolving into the adult that you will become.  During the next five years there will be hundreds of experiences that will change your view of life.  

You sound mature but there are obviously things that haven't thought of.  If you really want a lasting relationship, a great marriage and a terrific family, you need to get an education so that you will be able to have a career to fall back on if you should divorce or find yourself a widow.  That doesn't have to be four years of college.  Shorter courses are available for Dental Assistants etc.

Work and save money for at LEAST three more years!  It takes two salaries to buy a house, furniture, maintain cars, insurance, food, children and medical costs.  You don't want to saddle your spouse with the entire burden of providing for you.  It's too much of a responsibility for one person.

I do know what I'm talking about.  Married at 15 and divorced at 21, two children and no education.  

Think wisely about your future.  There's no hurry.  You can have 50-60 years together.  What's another 3-5?

Answer 7

Go ahead start planning but make sure he's the one. If he is Go for it!!

Answer 8

I was married when I was 19 and that was only 3 years ago.  I'm 23 now and my hubby is now 25.  We get along great, help eachother achieve our goals and are just there for eachother.  We work through the tough times and charise the good times.  Getting married young is not a problem if you are fully ready to make the committment.  what is wrong is getting married just to have a wedding.  If you fully understand the committment you are making to him and honestly want to spend your life with him then I say go for it.  Since getting married I have gone back to college and graduated, still gone out with my friends often and had alot of great times with my husband as well.  I do not feel for a second I have missed out on anything being married so young.  If anything, I was glad to bypass all the stupid things alot of my friends were doing or did.  I say follow your heart.  only you can know if you are ready to marry.  alot of people will say you are too young, but they speak from personal experience about how they felt about marriage when they were you age.  nobody can spend a day in your shoes and know how you feel.  good luck and I wish you both all the best.

Answer 9

wait till at least 25

you need noney to raise your kids

and nothing less then 50k in ur bank before you get married

dun rush for childrens girl

you are still sho young!

Answer 10

yeah sure if ur in love theres nothing from stopping u we need more young marriages

good luck  

Answer 11

No you're not. I'm 17 and engaged, gonna be married at 18.

Answer 12

I'm assuming he feels the same as you do. If that is the case, then I don't think there is any reason why you shouldn't continue on with your dedication toward one another. However, I would point out as Heather has, that a lot of change happens as you age and mature, probably not so much in your twenties, but when you get to 30, (and i know that seems a long way away at this stage) you have developed and changed in many ways. I met my first husband when was 19, we had a child by the time i was 22, we were married for 17 years, but sadly by that time we had both travelled down different paths and our ideals, outlook on life, career prospects were very out of 'synch'. I had raised 4 children and was in a very different state of mind. The best person to speak to would be your mum, as she would have the wisdom to guide you and give you the pros and cons. You seem to have a very mature outlook and certainly dedicated toward this person. I would certainly consider living with this guy for a while before making such a big decision about the rest of your life. Go with your instincts.

Answer 13

First, you cannot put a timeframe on love.  You do it when it feels right. Second, I met my hubby when I was 19 he was 25.  I now realize that I was in love with the idea of being married and having children with the two story house, etc.  I didn't want to be alone.  Now, 20 years later and after a miserable marriage of being controlled and told what to do, I realize what it was. At 19, you have so much niavity.  You think you've experienced it all.  Now, I'm seeing what I missed being free in my twenty's.  Think long and hard about why you want to get married.

Answer 14

You should talk to your boyfriend about it, then maybe he will get the hint that you do want to get married and he can start saving up for a wonderful engagement ring. Make sure you two can get by money wise on your own before you get married or the first few years of your marriage will be a tough one.  

Answer 15

Your not to young.  Age isn't the question.  If that is what you want then go for it.  But take my advise....at your age I wanted to be married with kids by 25.  I am 26 and recently engaged.  I'm very glad I waited to have kids.  they are a lot of work and a lot of money.

Get engaged, plan a wedding, get married and have fun being married for a few years and then start discussing a family.

Answer 16

when you are 20 you should get married because my mom hade kids when she was 20 but you get married at 20 ITS ALL UP TO U WHEN U THINK U ARE READY!!!!!

Answer 17

I was not ready to be engaged or married at 19, but not everyone is the same. If you feel you are responsible enough to be committed enough to get engaged and get married in one or two years, I say go for it. But I'd definitely do some soul searching before I make the decision. And waiting until you are married to have kids is a GREAT idea, you seem like a smart kid, good luck!  

Answer 18

I met my husband at 16, we got engaged at 19, we married at 23 , had our first child at 25.  We never lived together before we got married.  We were told the first year would be the worst. Everyone said it wouldn"t last as we met too young. Here we are over 21 years married and I am still waiting on the bad first year. We laugh a lot together and try not to take life too seriously.   Life and marriage is what you make of it.  Loving each other, Respecting and Cherishing each other I found where the most important things.  

Best of luck.  

Answer 19

Only if you have to ask the question.

(it says YOU have doubts)

Answer 20

To be honest I would wait til your atleast 21. You can get engaged now and start planning but hold off on the wedding. We just did my best friends wedding and it really wasn't that fun because only half the bridal party could drink. We couldn't go out.

Right now I'm 20 and would LOVE for my boyfriend to pop to questions but I want to wait til I'm over 21 to make the plans (also your looked at less of a child by older people if you atleast 21)

Also find out what he thinks about all this (rings and weddings aren't cheap) plus raising 5 kids won't be either.

Don't be in such a rush to grow up...I learned that the hard way

Answer 21

h**l yeah if you love him! just dont be a loser and change your last name. keep your identity woman!!

Answer 22

I was 19 and hubby 20 when we got married. I had our first child when I was 21, second when I was 22 and third when I was 26.  Now my children are 23,22, and 18.  We were very young, had not dated long before we got married and it was TOUGH.  Neither of us had a college education. But we survived and we are better than ever now after 25 years of marriage.  It takes Love, Determination, Compromise, Tolerance...and a whole lot of other stuff, but  it CAN be done...you just have to decide to stick to it..and it does take BOTH of you to accomplish it.

Answer 23

tie the knot, the sooner the better if you're living together.

Answer 24

no i dont think  

Answer 25

Yes, you're still so young to be engaged. Before thinking of having a family or a child, think first of the consequences. I mean, do both of you have stable jobs to settle down? Besides the ideal age for marrying is actually 24-25, that's what most couple says.

Answer 26

you have to know personally between the two of you what you want. obviously if you are living together that is a big commitment at that.  and four years is a long time.

do you both feel the same way about your life plans/goals?

and you want to live your life a little before you start popping out kids. enjoy your years now and when you are financially and both emotionally ready to get all those life plans into action, you will know.

i'm 19 and in a relationship for 2.5years; and we talk about it all the time, but know financially we are capable yet.

why not get engaged, be all serious, and then you'll know when you can fit your monetary benefits to produce your dream life.

good luck

Answer 27

Hmmmmmm....I would wait a few more years.

Answer 28

engaged no, engagedments suposed to last a while

just be aware most people find themself changing a lot when they start college and hit 20+

so give it a couple more years before geting wed at least, but engaged no reason not too...good luck and congrats ;)

Answer 29

The first thing I'd ask you is if he's on the same page. Is he as mature as you, does he want to get married, does he want children in the next few years?

If so, you're not too young. Marriage has ups & downs, if you both have the willingness to work through the hard times, I'm sure you'll be fine. I wish you the best.

Answer 30

I don't know.  I'm thinking that if you're asking a bunch of strangers on here, you probably are too young, though.  Not necessarily age-wise but maturity-wise.  A mature person would not need the support of strangers.  

Answer 31

All depends on the couple. We met at 20 and got married just after turning 26. Now when I look back we were so young. So glad we didn't get married before 26. You change a lot from 19 to 25. Graduate college, start a job, legal to drink etc. I personally recommend living on your own (not with your bf) for a while. Both of you need to understand how to take care of yourselves and not be dependant on another for your financial needs.