Am I too hard on my daughter?

Question

My daughter is 6. Many people have told me what a great kid she is and then in the same breath said we are too hard on her. She has chores to do everyday (ie make her bed, clear her dishes from the table, clean her room and playroom) nothing she can't do. I don't spank her. If she doesn't do something she is supposed to or if she is being "bad" (for lack of a better word) she gets certain privlages taken away. For example I told her that if she wasn't watching her TV she had to turn it off well after a week of reminding her I took away her TV privagles. I am just wondering if I am too hard on her or if maybe the other parents saying that i am are too easy on their kids?

Answer 1

People tell you that you have a great kid because you punish her and treat her well. If you didn't do it she would be a completely different kid. Maybe not so 'great'.

Answer 2

NO you're doing fine. I would hope that if i have kids someday i'll bring them up just like u. The truth is that many parents let their kids get away without helping out and when the kids are older like in their teens and don't help out the parents get angry and yell at the kids for not doing anything around the house. So if kids are taught from a young age that they have responsibilities then when they are older it wouldn't be as hard for parents to get the help they need.

Maybe though since she's still young instead of letting her do it alone u make it fun where u help her make her bed put away her toys letting her do it alone every other day.

But i applaud u for being such a good parent i hope that she continues to make u proud and also becomes a good parent like u.

To all parents reading this let me tell you once you have kids you're no longer living for yourself but for ur kids so put some real effort into it cause when u let ur kids play all the time when they're young then they expect you to leave them alone when they're older. (that's how they see it) So Teach them from small and when they are old they shall not depart from it.

Not only your girls ppl your boys too must help.

Answer 3

i think you are doing fine you don't abuse her and you are not expecting her to do everything. just stick with what you are doing she will be fine.

Answer 4

That's how my kids will be raised.  If my stepson is spending time with us and goofing off with his schoolwork, his privileges are taken away (TV & computer).  If I ask him to turn down the TV and I have to ask him three or four times, I'll turn it off.  He has to understand that TV-watching is a privilege and a reward, not a RIGHT.  He doesn't have chores yet because he doesn't live with us and just (last week) started spending time at our home.  He's 8.  

Your daughter might be upset but she will make a responsible grown-up.

Answer 5

I can't tell you how refreshing it is to hear how you are raising your daughter!  I think it is wonderful you are giving your daughter responsibilites!  I was raised having chores and my 4 yr old daughter has chores (pick her toys, help make her bed, etc).  There are too many people who don't give their children responsibility, and then wonder why they won't mow the lawn or take out the trash when they are 15.  Or don't want to get a job.  You are doing a wonderful job and don't let anyone tell you different!  I promise those parents will be wishing they followed your lead when their kids are older.  I do daycare and care for many different ages.  I can definetly tell what parents give their child responsibilites and discipline, and which ones let their kids do whatever they want with no regard for anyone or anything.  I just want to say thank you from one parent to another and I wish more parents were like you (would sure make my job a lot easier)!  Good luck with everything!               ~Kelly

Answer 6

its a good thing that ure doing with her. Your not raising her to be lazy like most of American children(I know ure not in america)She is being raised to know her limits and she will know what she has to do to get privaliges and she wont be a hard headed tennager(knock on wood)

Answer 7

Your Fine!!!  Don't let others tell you different!! Your teaching her responsibility and consequences  which is what parents are supposed to do if other people don't like it to bad let them raise their children to run over them keep up the good work!

Answer 8

Your doing a great job raising your child! If the other parents are saying that your to hard on her try to ignore them and remember, if the are saying things like that they probably let their kids do whatever they want and let them give their parents a hard time and that's not a good idea!

Answer 9

As far as everything that you mentioned, sounds like you're doing a great job. As far as whether you are too hard on your daughter, it depends on two things:

Do  you criticize her for every mistake, or use it as a learning opportunity?

Do you praise her when she does something well, and tell her how much you love her and how proud of her you are?

If you answered "no" to the first and "yes" to the second, then I'd say you are doing wonderfully, and should ignore the other parents.

Answer 10

It's never too early to start preparing your child for responsibility. I am the same way with mine.

Answer 11

No, you sound fine. Parents are too easy and over-protective of their kids nowadays.

Answer 12

That doesnt sound too hard for a 6 year old.  As long as she still gets plenty of love, and plenty of time to be a kid.  Between school, chores, and homework, does she still have enough time to herself?  If so, then I think its perfectly reasonable for her to have basic responsibilities, as long as you're not a total hard-*** about it, lol.  

From about age 8 on, I was responsible for babysitting my baby brother and doing dishes and laundry and chores for a household of EIGHT people.  I was the only girl, so I had all the household stuff, and my brothers handled the outdoor stuff.  On the upside, I learned to be really responsible and how to take care of myself.  On the downside, my parents were way too hard on me about it and at age 23, I still resent them for it.  I spent my weekends and free time being little miss Mini-Mom and Mini-Maid, instead of with my friends or doing activities.  

There's a happy balance to be found.  I dont know the situation, so I cant say if your friends are too easy on their kids, or maybe its your tone and demeanor towards your daughter that makes them think you're hard on her.  I dont know.  

My 3 year old cleans her room (with some positive guidance from me), picks up her toys around the house at the end of the day, puts her dishes in the sink, and offers to help me in other random little ways.  She has fun with it.  Its important to teach them to do these things, but not to the extent that they feel like a slave or anything of course!  

Based on what you've said, it sounds like you're doing just fine!

Answer 13

It sounds like she'll turn out great!

Answer 14

nope, kids need to learn how to do things for themselves, your doing the right thing teachiong your daughter now, rather than waiting till she's 14 and telling her she has to clean her room, good for you!

Answer 15

Thats good nice job you're a good parent!

Answer 16

no you are doing just fine. it teaches them to follow through with things or the things they really want in life wont be there, i believe its a good life lesson. i do this also and it works well instead of spanking yelling and time outs. my daughter is very respectful and cleans after herself.

Answer 17

I think you're doing a good job! Ignore those other people, a lot of parents are too easy on their kids anymore and thats what's wrong with the world today, thats why we have so many kids and even adults who are disrespectful because their parents were not parenting them good enough.

Answer 18

That's exactly how I intend to raise my children.

Just ignore those people!  You're not doing anything wrong.

Answer 19

I dont understand "For example I told her that if she wasn't watching her TV she had to turn it off well after a week of reminding her I took away her TV privagles."

are you forcing her to watch TV?

as for the chores no I don't think youa re being too hard on her.

Answer 20

As long as your daughter is a good girl and is HAPPY! She's 6 and innocent and deserves to be happy. If she is then your doing something right.

Answer 21

Why does a 6 year old have her own TV? That's ridiculous.

Answer 22

Your doing everything right! Anyone that says you're too hard on her is an outright idiot that should never have kids! Period....supervision, guidance, and responsibility are VITAL to kids of all ages. I'd laugh in their face next time they opened their mouth. They sound like pathetic parents to me, who will raise wild uncontrollable kids with no sense of responsibility. You sound like someone who has a brain and is using it well.

Answer 23

No. You are NOT too hard on her! She is 6 and knows what she can and can't do. She also knows the rules. If she decides to not follow rules.. she'll know the consequenses so she'll decide not to be bad. You are fine. Keep doing what you are doing! Your daughter will be just fine!

Answer 24

I'm right there with you! My daughter is 12 & she has daily chores and rules to follow. I can't stand it when other parents say we are hard on our children just because they have chores, rules, & manners. I know a girl 2 years older than my daughter that doesn't even know how to use a broom or dustpan! I'm trying to raise a responsible young lady that respects others, and herself. I could care less what other people say! Keep doing what you are doing, and give yourself a pat on the back!

Answer 25

No, I don't think you are too hard on her at all. In fact, I would say that my disciplinary techniques are pretty much the same. Don't forget that most people do not spend all day and every day with your daughter - we have the same thing with our strong willed little 3½ year old. When we tell people how difficult he can be, they just scoff and say how easy he is when he is with them. So, I would think that if she is really good for everyone else, then they may think that she is so good that she doesn't need to be disciplined. When, in reality, she is so good because your style of discipline works!

Answer 26

no i think that u are raising her to know how to clean up after her self and have things to make her responsible. some parents just let there children walk all over them and thats not right . i intend to give my daughter rules and chores to do like make her bed and clean her room and play things because if she makes the mess she can clean it up

Answer 27

Your not being to hard on her, others criticize but how behaved are their children.  I have similar rules for my kids.  It teaches them responsibilty and the punishments usually fit the crime.  My motto is you get your stuff done and I dont have to tell you then you are rewarded in more fun time and free time.

Answer 28

You're a great parent.

She just prolly thinx ur too hard on her.

She's just lazy i guess.