Am I too judgmental of my friends?

Question

My friend invited me and my older brother to her birthday party a few days ago by telephone and I told her I would see if I could make it. The party is today at a club but I have decided not to go and my two older brothers are going, and everyone is giving me a hard time about it. My friend is now 23 years old, a single mom, who is currently living at home with her mom because of a bad work situation. The last time I spent time with her she told me she was doing Ecstasy a few times with a friend of hers. The friend is a bad influence and is a really sketchy person. Plus that night that I hung out with her and this friend the friend ended up bossing everyone around and changing plans. The girl made us all sleepover at her house, then against my friends wishes she invited two guys to the house that were extremely creepy and disrespectful, then her and one of her friends went upstairs and had s*x with them, while me and my friend (who's birthday it is today) were stuck downstairs, with no way of going back home until the next morning. I even told this to my older brother, but instead of him seeing it as a good reason for me not to bother going he keeps giving me a hard time since he wants to go so bad, but to be honest....I'm bothered by the fact that after all I told him, he and my other brother decide to go hangout with my friend at her party tonight. Plus I don't understand why my brothers keep hanging out with my friends without me, etc. Is that not wierd?? Especially when their not even close to my friends but everytime I bring any of my girlfriends over or introduce them, the next thing I know I find out they have been talking to my friends on myspace, e-mailing them, or are inviting them to go hangout without even including me on anything. I called her to tell her I was sorry I couldn't go and that I had to study for an exam, which is actually true. Am I still in the wrong for not going? I have a great boyfriend and before I knew him I was always partying and hanging out with "anyone" but now that he's in the picture I'm more focused on school and I distance myself from people that I feel aren't going down the same path as me. Most of my friends are single and pregnant, and don't have a college degree, but I try to still be nice with them, although I feel like we have little in common as a result. So now I hardly hangout with anyone...outside of the people I know in the college I go to.

Answer 1

its not a bad thing to want to surround yourself with positive influences. The friends I have now have been the same since elementary and high school.  I'm 30yrs old.  There have been times when we weren't very close because of situations similar to yours but we've always found our way back to each other.  you're not being too judgmental.  You just know what you want or what you don't want in your life.  good for you for not following the crowd.  

Answer 2

you need new friends, ones that don't do Ecstasy or have s*x with randoms.

my advice to you is to not let anyone 'make' you do something

the only person that should influence your life is yourself

and no, your not too judgmental.

Answer 3

You are doing the right thing. College should come first. I had to learn the hard way. I am finishing school now when I should have 2 years earlier.

Sometimes time away is the best way to tell them that they need to change.  

Answer 4

Ur doing the right thing. U just want positive friends and thats good.

Answer 5

your brothers know they are freaks and are just trying to get laid.

Answer 6

im the same way. its not bad to want to be around people that are like you. my friends are big flirts and like to party and drink and be extremely social and sleep around. im the exact oppisite. haha. if you really want to stay friends with them, talk to them about it. if not, just distance yourself from them and let the friendship slowly end.