Am I using my soon to be ex husband?

Question

I am separated from my spouse with a divorce pending. He is not ordered to pay child support but does so anyway. Since I am not working I ask him occasionally for additional things for our 3 kids. Like food also I ask him to help when it comes to getting the kids stuff for school supplies, clothes, uniforms, etc. Well my mom yelled at me and told me to stop asking him for stuff because he will get tired of it and try to take the kids. Also, to stop depending on him because he won't be around once the divorce is finalized. She said he probably keep all the receipts for everything he bought and will use it against me in court. Now I feel bad for asking those things am I wrong or is she?

Answer 1

Your mom is right that you need to learn not to depend on him anymore.  The more self dependent you can be, the better.

Answer 2

I don't think you are using him, its part of his responsibility, just don't let it get out of hand, like asking him to come fix things that are broken etc.  If your on your own you need to find other ways to do things for yourself and don't depend on him to do it.

Answer 3

You will need to learn to stand on your own 2 feet at some point....No time like the present.  Even though the economy SUCKS right now, you have to get out there and MAKE IT HAPPEN for you and your children.  He probably will use the fact that he has been supporting you during this time when he goes to court.....but if you have a good lawyer - she will be able to show that means he has the funds to help you out and should continue to do so until you are on your own 2 feet.  Good luck to you and your children.

Answer 4

I see no harm to ask for things for the kids.  I hope he is not that petty.  Your mom seems to expect the worse.  Give him a break.  I hope that for the kids you are trying to be amicable.

Answer 5

cool

Answer 6

No! Your Mom is wrong. They are his kids too and he SHOULD help.

Answer 7

If he loves his children he will put them first and let it be.  Your mom does have a point that he may be using what he gives as a device for court but more than likely he is making sure the kids do not suffer for what the 2 of you are going through.

Answer 8

Well, if you are not working, and if it is just things for his kids, I see nothing wrong with that. But you need to be looking for work and be able to show that you can provide for the kids.