Am I weird or do things like this bother you too? ?

Question

I pretty shy and sensitive. I'm attractive and thin. (no I'm not egotistic people tell me I should be a model) I try to be specially nice and polite to people. I would never want to say to anyone something I thought would hurt their feelings or that they would take the wrong way. But I dont know why this happens to me sometimes I'll be talking to a friend and she'll be like "you and so and so would make a really cute couple" and the guy (the guy she's talking about) will be like "err no" "ill" or something like that. It makes me feel like I'm somehow gross ,ugly or like there's something wrong with me. This has happened many times to me from middle school to high school (now in senior year) I realize I dont expect him to agree and be like yeah lets go out (like in a movie) because that would be awkward and weird. I didn't like any of them like but it still made me feel like I was messed up or something. But it's always bothered me. I would never do that to someone else.

Am I over reacting? I realize that I am a little too sensitive most of the time so I usually cant tell.

Has this happened to you and were you bothered by it?

Or was it not a big deal?

Answer 1

maybe the guy likes u , but said that so nobody would think he does  

Answer 2

Yeah, I know what you mean. I was out with a guy who was actually kind of dating me and a couple of his acquaintances (some girls he didn't really care anything about) asked if we were dating. He replied, "What? No, I'm not that dumb" right in front of me. What do you mean "ill"? Are they saying you're too thin? These situations are ambiguous to begin with, but when they're put into text, it's even harder to decipher what they mean. Maybe they're just insecure, maybe there's something about your personality that makes them think you're arrogant, maybe they secretly like you, and so on. I don't think you're overreacting; "Err no" a rude thing to say when someone suggests you date. I'd be bothered by it. Then again, I'm also a shy and sensitive person. Haha.

Answer 3

the guy probably felt like your friend put him on the spot. like if he said yeah you're right then you might be like uhm no so he just said no before you did maybe because he was nervous about what you would say.  

Answer 4

Not overreacting! If your friends really have your happiness at heart, they should lay off. Any guy could feel uncomfortable about being told that in front of a girl, whether he likes her or not, so he has to react like that.

Come to think of it,  if you didn't like a guy, you wouldn't appreciate having someone telling the two of you you'd make a good couple, either, and even if you liked him, you might be at a loss what to say.  I think your friends may be feeling at a loss what to say and jabbering meaninglessly, or they like the boy a little and this is a way of paying both him and you a compliment. I'd hate having anyone do that to me, anyhow.

Your friends who say things like that have a loooong way to go in learning to be more tactful. Tell them to make sure first whether you even like the guy, and even then, not to say things right in front of both of you, if they hope you'll get together. There might be a case where you wouldn't mind a guy finding out that you kinda like him--but he shouldn't be told right in front of you!

Good for you for knowing that you wouldn't do that to someone else! That shows you have understanding and care about other people's feelings.

Answer 5

You just happen to be more considerate than most people.  I know, because I've experienced that situation before...and if someone asked me that question, I would joke and be like "Yeah!  Giggity giggity giggity!" and make a joke out of it...but the guy would be like "Uh, no." and be kind of insulting...

People deal with situations differently, especially when they're put on the spot.  You happen to be able to consider the feelings of others right away, while other people may blurt out their gut reaction...which is to deny it.  They don't do it on purpose, and they definitely don't mean to insult you in any way.  Try not to take it personally!

Answer 6

Most guys wouldn't say "yes" in that situation.

No it doesn't mean your unattractive, a guy could be crazy about you and still hesitate in that situation.

That's happened to me, and none the less I still felt bad.