My daughter has been best friends with Beth since 2nd grade. Over the years it has been one lie after another----when she was little, Beth would tell some real doozies and I shrugged it off as she would "outgrow" this stage of fantasy--"vacation in China--oh really?". The duo became a trio in 3rd grade (the two other girls had known each other since kinder) and lasted until last year when 3rd girl's mother's got too involved in the girls' drama and I found myself at the police station over said mother harrassing my daughter etc. The trio became a duo when Shannon left the school (she burned bridges with many a kid not just mine and her "best friend.") BEFORE, Shannon left though, Beth chose Shannon over my dd. To which I told my dd it was Beth's loss and for her to get new friends (too much Principal time and drama for me to deal with). When Shannon left and Beth found herself alone, what did she do?? You got it, she apologized to my dd. I told my dd she could still not hang out with her and that Beth had to earn her friendship back. In all this mess and over the years, the other Mom's always pulled their daughter's strings like puppets, "you can't sit with her unless, you can't be friends until,...blah blah blah." I never want to chose my kid's friends. But when this all happened I drew the line and "played their little game." After 2 weeks, I allowed my dd to sit with Beth---she had been a good friend at times, not so good at others--she still lied and all, but I didn't want to be so judgemental and friends forgive each other, right?
School ended. Over the summer, my dd phoned her often and Beth never called. My dd had gotten Beth a t-shirt on vacation and wanted to know when she could take it to her, but like I said, Beth never called her. I don't believe in going over unannounced,...sorry.
Just before school started Beth called requesting my dd take her some band music "that day no later than noon or..blah blah." My dd was having a band social that day and so I dropped her off and then took Beth the music (I don't want to be mean, since Beth had often taken my dd her homework etc.) When Beth had gotten in touch with my dd I don't know (my dd has a cell I don't keep tabs on her every call, just check the minutes here and again to make sure she doesn't waste them all). Why did Beth suddenly need the music THAT day? Seems fishy to me.
Beth's birthday was during summer vacation (I don't keep up, but my dd did remember and she called her to wish her a happy b-day and later told me about it) Beth told my dd that only family could see her on her b-day. For my dd's birthday, my dd invited Beth. Plenty notice and like I said in the past the girls did birthdays together. First Beth said she would not be able to go, because her cat died, another cat was sick and might have to be put down, then it turned into the dog dying or maybe dying. Last night after the game and all I was helping Beth find her Mom and she told me that she might not be able to go to my dd's birthday because she had to go "shopping." Well, then I knew she was up to her fibbing again and that she will always be a fibber. I also knew that she would be a no-show.
This week, my dd has not gone to the lunch room at lunch time---she goes to Beth's (teacher) Mom's classroom then when the lunch room empties out she goes to the lunch room, because it is no longer too loud. I don't think it is too loud for her to go at the start of the period and since she is buying her lunch she really needs to get in there and get it and sit there and eat it. One day, my dd told me that Beth doesn't like people and that she often had to do Beth's talking to teachers in the past---I did not know that. Yes I do talk to my kid, but I don't probe her--she tells me what she finds necessary to tell me. I always looked at the sunny side of their friendship: they both liked similar things and were close in age, but I really think that liking similar things and being close in age are less important than being with a socially, mentally healthy person. (I've been "shy" at times like anyone else, but to say that a person "hates people???")
At this point, I am just really ready to tell my dd to stay away from Beth. This week she told me that a "friend" of hers gets the "creeps" around Beth. Last year my dd told me that sometimes Beth "spaces out" and acts weird.
What I want at this point in time is for my dd to find some not creepy, not spacy, not people hating friends who will be truthful and who will allow her to shine (I've noticed over the years that Beth does get jealous of my dd). Do I just out and tell my dd that she can't be her friend anymore? My dd is smart, attractive, friendly and easy to talk to and would not have a hard time finding new friends because she isn't shy or anything like that. In fact, over the last month of summer she made a friends with several other kids and even some upperclassmen. She even ge
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