Am I wrong for feeling like I shouldn't be there for my sister because she hasn't been there for me?

Question

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080904100250AA2IzxZ&r=w

If you look at the link above to my previous question, it will explain a lot more. I didn't make the "edit" until a couple of hours later, so everyone already had their answers in. Everyone is telling me to go and be there for her, she needs to know that I care, etc, etc. But, as I wrote in my "edit".... she has NEVER been there for me. Not when I was married, not when my daughter was born. She's probably seen my daughter a total of 3 times (during each Christmas) and she has never been to my house, ever. Because of this, I feel like she abandoned me when I needed her, so how can I go and support her through something I don't feel she should do?

Am I a horrible person for feeling this way or what? (Please be as gentle as possible)

Answer 1

I had read that question of yours yesterday, but didn't  really know how to reply.

Since you have added these details about how she hasn't been to your home & only seen your daughter 3 times, I think if I were in your shoes I would not go.

When my younger sister got married she called & asked me to be her brides maid. I only have the one sister.  Our aunt was chosen to be her maid of honor. My sister & I weren't very close at that time & hardly ever even spoke on the phone, let alone see one another.

Well, I declined to be a brides maid & decided not even to attend.

Now today, we do talk & see one another every now & then, but her maid of honor, our aunt, don't even talk to one another any more & haven't for years.

If I were you, I'd follow my heart & make your decision on how you feel deep inside.

Whatever you decide does not make you a horrible person at all.

I've been in your shoes, in a way & have never regretted my decision ticktock.

Answer 2

Well obviously you care enough to ask our opinion about it. It's been in your head, bothering you, because you still love her despite everything. By 'returning the favor', you're doing nothing different than mimicking your sister.