Am I wrong for feeling like this?

Question

I feel like my parent let my 27 year old sister get away with murder like a 16 year old. She isn't working, still in school, don't pay rent while I bust my *** on a job everyday and have to pay rent (age 23). I am not complaining about having to have responsibility, however, I am upset that my parent hound me and pressure me to do everything but she can continue to not be mature. What took the cake was when my family came to visit and my sister didn't speak to my cousin. I wasn't going to be rude so I tried to be a great hostess. My sister buttered my parents up to make it seem like someone was doing her wrong. After that, my parents acted very differently towards me. Now, I just come in and straight to my room. Am I wrong for doing this? I know family should stick together but this has been going on all my life!

Answer 1

First you need to sit everyone down and talk to them and tell them how you feel. And if that don't work you don't have to be rude to them but just do what you need to to get out of there. Still speak, say yes mamm and no mamm and just handle your business!

Answer 2

maybe they treat her this way because she's still in school.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, this can happen a lot in families.  The parents often choose favorites without even knowing it, and one child can be VERY good at blackmail, brown-nosing or both so therefore the other child (you) gets put to the side or even treated horribly (also you).  What you need to do is confront your parents about it (while your sister is NOT present) and just tell them that you believe your being mistreated and want it to stop, or even ask for a reason as to WHY you've been mistreated.  Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

23..........time to get your own place..........

Answer 5

what you should do is confront your parents and tell them how you feel and if they can not understand that then you can do two things either move out or  stop being so generous with them

Answer 6

Family should be a team with everyone working together to make your collective lives better.  However, many families are organized to protect their weakest member.  Without knowing more details, I'm only guessing that this is what is going on in your family.  Weakest doesn't always mean physical weakness, it can mean a person who is percieved as being unable to do for themselves or the most dysfunctional person.

It sounds like you get the short end of the stick because your parents are busy trying to make everything easier for your sister.  Stop for a moment and think about what that really means.  Someday, your mom and dad won't be around.  They won't be there at some point making her life easier.  One social commentor recently wrote that this generation may be the first to "not grow-up until their parents have died."  He was referring to the extended childhoods that most 20 and 30 somethings seem to be living (men playing video games endlessly into their 30s, kids living at home long after its healthy and then penchant for parents to do for them - please note that the parents are equally as culpable, it's like they want to infantalize their adult children).

Anyway, so, as to your feelings - they aren't right or wrong.  It's how you feel.  What is right or wrong is what you do about it.  I suspect, you are building up a lot of resentment because you feel like a prisoner in your own home.  You come home and lock yourself away.  It's especially regretful that your parents are seemingly oblivious to your paing.  I suspect they are aware, but are so overwhelmed placating your sister, they don't have time to acknowledge it.

So, what are your options.  You could confront the situation.  But do you think this will help?  Or will there be a process of rationalization, where you end up being the bad guy for complaining.  Your second option is to continue to endure, hoping that things will change.  Short of a crisis, I doubt that they will change.  Your final choice is to leave the situation.  Don't do it precipitously.  I suggest that you sit down with which ever of your parents is the most receptive and tell them that you would like to get out on your own.  You'll need to start saving money and start looking around for a place or a roomate situation.  

I wish you the best of luck.