Am I wrong for hating my father for reading my diary?

Question

Basically, I'm 18 now but his happened when I was 14. I fell inlove with an older boy who was 17 at the time, being young and naiive i had my first sexual experience with him (not sexual intercourse though) thinking he'd fall in love with me too and of course him being 17 and abit of prick broke my heart. anyway lots of other things happened that night cos it was at party like the fact i smoked weed (only a puff though). a few weeks later my family got an anonymous letter basically telling them everything that happened, and i mean the full gory details, i tried to deny it and say it was just some nasty rumour in school. who wants thier parents knowing what they've done with the opposite s*x? but then my dad admitts that he knows its true because he read my diary and even till this day it really upsets me he has done that. do you think he was right or wrong for doing so?

Answer 1

At 14, privacy is a privilege, not a right.  Your parents hear about you having s*x and doing drugs.  I'm sorry, but if I heard something like that about my 14 year old daughter, I'd do some prying too.  And if what I found confirmed what I'd been told, I could deal with my daughter accordingly.  In fact, I'd probably take it like I failed in raising my daughter, as much as she screwed up.

No, I don't think what he did was wrong.  At the same time, you still have every right to be mad at him.  I think "hate" is a little too strong for someone doing what he thought was best because he loves you.  It's been 4 years.  I hope one day you can forgive him.

Answer 2

If you live under his roof, he has every right to try and protect you from the evils of the world...someday you will understand this when and if you have children of your own.

The world is a disgusting place and if a parent can save their childs life by merely reading their diary, then I say to every parent on earth: read the diary!

Answer 3

Maybe a little of both.

You need to understand, as a parent, part of his responsibilities are to protect you, almost impossible in today's world.

What if the guy you were "dating" was a predator?  (Don't think "that's impossible", it happens all the time).

As a child, (under the age of 18), you have no rights, what he did isn't illegal.  He definitely violated your privacy, but the fact you were willing to lie to him about it rather than owning up to the truth tells me he might not be that out of line.

You tell me, your job is to protect your baby sister, would you take away some of her rights and freedoms to be able to better protect her?  Of course you would.

That's what your dad did to you.

Have you talked it over with him?  You should, tell him how it made you feel, see if you can come to some working arrangement.  The situation is quite different now, as you are nearly legally an adult, (although, his roof, his rules).

Luck

Answer 4

In a way he was looking out for you at the time, but he was wrong for intruding on your privacy and you have a right to be upset but definitely hide things better next time.

Answer 5

i think his motives are good but he went about it the wrong way. he should have talked to YOU calmly and not read ur diary. let me put it this way, if ur dad was a teenage girl do u think thta he would tell their parents everything? NO, he wouldnt but i mean love makes u do stupid things and he is obviously worried  and he cares alot for u but that isn't an excuse just and motive that  drove him to do that. i would talk to him about ur privacy REALLY calmly in case he gets mad ; use this arguement: did he tell his parents wen he hit 1st,2nd or 3rd base with a girl?

P.S.- find a new hiding place and get a lock for ur diary!!! hoped that helped

Answer 6

My great Grand mother  was born in 1886 and had the same problem w/DAD so she kept 2 diaries, one laying on top of her dresser and the other hidden away under her undies. she wrote the FACTS__DREAMS Naughties in the one on the dresser and a Tamed down preachers daughter on the one under her undies.

  We got the one from her dresser last year in a box of old Silent movie stars pics and WOW was Granny a Well rounded girl. Both sexes- all colors-most positions and some we hadn't heard of yet. Masturbated Horses and Mules with her BFFS and @ got their COOKIES off with the head of a horse's schlonge. She was diddled by her 23yr old TEACHER in 8Th grade (15)but she was a willing participant she .HOOKED and held him in long enough to finish her self after he was long done and wanted to rush off home...

Answer 7

He was wrong. Some things are private*

Answer 8

i think you need to forget the past and move on

everyone makes mistakes ,after all we are humans

your just too young wen u had this incident so its not your fault

and next time try to store your diary in a secret place ,so ur parents dont read them

Answer 9

aww chickii, we've all thought we've met the rite boi till he breaks our heart

but what doesnt kill ya makes ya stronger anywhozz!!!

he's got to remember we were all young once and, im sure you dont hate him, your just really upset hes betraid your trust and read the diary he should never had read.....

im sure youll get over it soon and you never no in a few years you'll look back and have a good old laugh about it so yeah i hope your ok sweetie.

Answer 10

You know my Mom did the same thing to me and she tells me she would do it again if she had to. I have always had mixed emotions on the subject, but then I think about it and she had a good reason to do it so she might have saved me from getting preg. under age or worse catching a std-aids or anything along those lines. I do not have kids to this day but I know when I do I will probably read their diary if I feel like there is a reason to. Its your job to protect your kids no matter what. Just remember your Dad did it because he loves you it was not to be nosy. Give your Dad a hug and forgive him and let him know you know he did the best he could because he cares.