Question:

Am I wrong for wanting a seperation?

by  |  earlier

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So, Here is my question. I married my husband 1 month after we met, the whole month I had a really nagging feeling but didn't listen to it. We have been married for almost 3 years,and have a 2 year old daughter. We just moved into our first house. For the past three years we have tried to make it work, there was a little bit of pushing and bruising at the beginning of our marriage, but that hasn't happened since. I can't talk to him. He doesn't seem to be interested in anything I do or have done, he hates my family. If I want to spend a sunday at my parents house he is like " no sunday is a family day" but if he's family is having dinner on sunday there is absolutely no problem. He got onto my face book account and read some e mails, then he tried to delete my account, telling me he would move into the other bedroom if I promise never to get on face book, or my space again. then I feel like a lier because i said I would and then I reopened my account. I had a really serious boyfriend before I got married and it was something I needed to talk to my husband about, but he didn't want to list on. however I know a lot about his Ex's and I listened to him! I feel like I'm worthless, he had me drop out of school to get a job, then I got inured and I had to quit, then he was angry because I quit and told Me I should just take Ibuprofen and suck it up. I just want respect, but I have zero respect for him anymore, I don't like him. I want to move out but I'm not sure how to go about it. he loves our daughter so much I feel like a horrible person moving out with her. he would have her 3 days a week and I would have her 4. I haven't even talked to him about it and I feel awful. I have a few health issues now because of him, and when I told him about it the first thing he said was, well maybe it was someone else. he makes every crisis I have 10 times worse. he never helps around the house or gives baths or changes diapers. I just want to move back in with my parents but he hates them. I just want some independence. Would I be happier? I mean we have tried counseling like 4 sessions but he decided it was making matters worse and got totally defensive. I know there is more to my life then this marriage, it seems like he doesn't care about anyone elses feelings then his own. I don't know what to do.

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  1. You do know what to do, you're just scared. You know you need to leave him, and it's going to be hard, but the longer you stay, the more time you waste. Also, don't think you're doing your daughter any favors by staying. What she is witnessing will set the stage for her future relationships. Would you advise her to stay if she was in your situation? Leave him, move in with your parents, and work on getting yourself together for your sake and your child's. And in the future go with that gut feeling- it's there for a reason.


  2. It's definitely time for you to leave honey. NO if's but's or maybes about it. I can tell you for sure that in the not too distant future you are gonna be looking back and wonder why you didn't do it MUCH earlier. You deserve better. Leave him.

  3. Forget the separation. Just file for divorce and get it over with. Sounds like you made a big mistake, and you are now just realizing it.

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