Am I wrong to be disappointed with the proposal ring?

Question

We dated for almost 2 years & my bf alway mentioned that when he propose, it'll be a 1.5 carat diamond ring of the best color, grade & cut. On the actual proposal day, he proposed with a 0.81 carat diamond of G color & good cut (we are in the jewellery trade). I was disappointed & it showed on my face. Seeing my reaction, he got angry & call of the wedding. He said that I should marry him for who he is & not the ring. He also mentioned that he deliberately put me thru this test. I felt that a proposal should not be a test of person love for you or material stuff. Moreover, he was the one who set the expectation. Was I wrong to feel this way?

Answer 1

i got to like your BF for the bait and switch

i do not believe in diamonds as such

so i can definitely see his point of view

and thus makes me wonder why you are so engrained on diamond as a expression of a commitment

considering the American Natives don't

and the Japanese ( before Debeers got to them ) didn't

and some culture still ( thank God for that ) don't

you reaction is typical of greed

Answer 2

yes you are totally wrong. money doesn't grow on tree you know. it had to be obvious that the ugliest ring in the world was a test you should have acted extremaly happy just to be his wife to be.

Answer 3

i seriously dont think it was a test alot of guys say that to turn the argument over on u...it really depends on how much money he has. if he has enough money to get u the 1.5 carat ring and not have any set baks then he should have gotten u that one but if he cant afford it then u really cant blame him.at least he loves u enogh to want to spend the rest of his life w/ u ..b happy :) goodluck

Answer 4

i think hes right. if he proposed, it shouldnt matter what the ring is like, but just the fact that he loves u enough to do that, and to show he wants to spend his life with u. on the other hand he probly shouldnt have done that to u either, but he probably must have been really upset to see u unhappy b/c of a ring

Answer 5

You aren't wrong to be disappointed. It's you engagement ring and you should love it.

Answer 6

I don't even remember looking at the ring when my husband proposed! I am sure it was because I couldn't see it through my teary eyes. It seems like you cared more for the ring then the man that was proposing to give you a life with him.

Answer 7

Tough question.  I'd say since he was the one giving you a phony proposal of sorts that he's the one in the wrong.  It really was not a nice trick to play on you.

Answer 8

It may be hard for you guys to get over this but you may need to come to terms with the fact whether you love him for him or not

Answer 9

hes just insecure he got u crappy ring. Its not a 'test', he got u what he could afford n when he sawur dispointment got defencive and felt guilty for not getting u what he said he would. The guy is either a cheap skate or was trying to get a reaction like that outta u, so it looked likeu were in the wrong, when really he just dosnt wanna marry you.

Sorry girly. Move on.

Answer 10

you are in the wrong it is selfish to be disappointed with a ring, especially if you love him with all you heart.  

Answer 11

Yes.

He is also wrong for "testing" you as you put it; but yes, you shouldn't be disappointed. The ring is a symbol of an abstract idea that is infinitely more beautiful than any jewel. He could propose to you with an onion ring (exaggerating), and, if the love is there... and real, it would be the most beautiful onion ring in the world to you. It makes me cringe to hear people speak of material things in the same breath as love and marriage.

Answer 12

yes...you were wrong.i don't think you should have reacted that way.that had to have hurt him and should marry him for who he is & not the ring..but on the other hand....he shouldn't have tested you like that either,ecspecially after telling you  that he was going to proose to you with a  1.5 carat diamond ring of the best color, grade & cut.he shouldn't have even told you that.Good luck!=)

Answer 13

Sounds to me like the ring means more to you than the guy who is giving it to you. Why does the color, grade, and cut matter so much? What about the man? I agree that putting you "thru a test" sucks. Obviously, he must have had concerns about what was more important to you, too. You both are wrong...and clearly wrong for each other.

Answer 14

he's a jerk for promising a gorgeous ring, and giving you c**p and he's a jerk for "testing" you and he's a jerk for over-reacting, by calling the wedding off, when his "test" backfired. how else is he going to "test you in the future? by promising to have children and then going behind your back and getting a vasectomy? by pormising to be loyal to you and cheating on you then saying it was just a test? .... he's a douche...

Answer 15

I don't think it was right of him to 'test' you.

But your reaction was still dead wrong.  You should have been thrilled to be getting engaged even if the ring wasn't what you had been lead to believe it would be when the time came.

Answer 16

Of course you are are in the wrong - typical women. You say that a proposal should not be a test of material stuff yet you have upset the person you love over the size of a metal and stone ring. You are in the wrong and should do all you can to make it right, cause if it was me I would leave you on the step for even writing this question.

Answer 17

He never should have said it was a test but he probally said that becuase he was embarrassed. And he also shouldnt have told you he was going to give you a certain ring, but thats the ring your getting and if you want to upgrade then you should pay for it. Be happy with your guy you shouldnt marry him for the ring.

Answer 18

yeas cuz it ture what he said .. it shouldnt matter with what he proposes  aslong as he does and he loves you ... and i bet he does .. material htings dontmatter and i understand why he might no have been able to leave up with what he promised.. economy is getting very bad, you should say sorry and call the wedding on again

Answer 19

No man wants to be married to a woman who cares more about a ring than his feelings.  

Answer 20

If your so Filthy rich, go buy your own ring.

Answer 21

In the other questions you've posted you say you're already married

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Is it school holiday time already?

Answer 22

You might have turned away the best choice of a husband for you.

Rings can be replaced, people can't.

Answer 23

I would have been happy with whatever ring my fiance picked out, he didnt end up picking it out in the end though and we went ring shopping together the very next day.

He was wrong to set a high expectation in the first place and you were wrong to be dissapointed with the ring. A ring is a ring.

To be honest I think it was him testing you and not the other way round and unfortunately for the both of you it all went bad.

Answer 24

Why was he proposing to you if the invites were sent out already and the wedding was two weeks away? How was it two weeks away if he hadnt proposed yet? :S Quite confusing. Why are you planning a wedding if he hasnt officially proposed? This is bizarre. Also, why are you so bothered by the size of the ring? So f**k if he has a lot of money - doesnt mean he should be spending it all on you when he gets engaged to you! The question itself, I feel is just BS and looking to get a ton of answers. Well you have succeeded in wasting everyones time. Thanks for the 2points

Answer 25

Yes you are wrong.

Good he found out now, even though it's late in the game, what you are really like.

Answer 26

No. Hes a d**k. You deserve better. Why would someone say one thing then do something like that! That is disgraceful!

Your not wrong to feel that way. and your right. it shouldn't be a test.

god. i'd be glad he called it off. that is messed up!  

Answer 27

I think so, because it's not about material things...it's about the act of becoming engaged.

why does the ring matter so much anyway? isn't being with the one who you love for the rest of your life much more meaningful?

Answer 28

1.  you were wrong to be disappointed with the ring.  regardless of what was said earlier.  any number of things could have happened to cause him to go with a different ring.

2.  why do you want to be with a man who readily admits to setting up "tests" to prove you love him?  That is a huge huge red flag.  This would not have been a happy or even a long union.

Answer 29

He's a rat for doing that, but I can't help but wonder fi eh had reason to test you. Aside from that...holy c**p its still a .81 carat ring...its obviously not a peice of c**p.

Answer 30

yes.. and no..

i understand u were expecting bigger..

but u should never be disappointed with it!

b/c its the thought and meaning behind it..

yea, if a bf did that to me.. at first i would be a little let down if i was to be expecting something bigger

but the ring symbolizes us.. not money or the looks of a ring.

the ring is so much more than a flashy piece of jewlery, its a representation of ur love and trust in the other person!

Answer 31

I normally like to agree with the asker, but this time I'm afraid I don't. You should love him for him and not material things like the ring...you should apologize. He should have the right to put you through that test, considering he's going to make a life commitment. You should be happy that he got you a ring and proposed at all, please apologize before you wreck your relationship.

Hope I helped =/