Am I wrong to feel this way?

Question

My dad died 4 years ago after being in the hospital for 2 years. My mom started bringing her two old guy friends from high school around because she said it made her feel safe with my dad out of the house. The problem was that one was a drug addict and the other was an alcoholic. The came to our house bossing us around and acting like it was their house and we (my brothers and sisters) were in there home.

Things haven't changed even though me and my siblings have all asked our mom to send them away. I don't feel safe at home anymore. I caught one of the guys going through my moms purse and house keys have gone missing for days at a time. My mom goes to bed to avoid talking to her friends and makes me and my sister go tell them to leave at night. Now my moms brother has gotten out of jail and he has started doing the same thing. He's threatened me in front of her and she did nothing to stop it.

I feel like there is something wrong with my mom because she just keeps letting this happen. She's not on drugs and all her other friends think that she's a down to earth person because they haven't seen what is going on inside our house. Am I overreacting? Is there anything I can do? I'm already leaving for college this month but my younger siblings will still be at home.

Answer 1

This is not fair at all to you or your brothers and sisters! Your mom is being selfish and dumb. Best advice, tell someone at your school ie: teacher, counselor. That is your house and those are not the right influences that you need around you. I am sure you are still grieving your dads death, and I am really sorry for your loss and that your mom is acting in this way. Those guys need to get the boot and your mom needs to wake up. Please please please tell someone and get them out!!  

Answer 2

First you are not over reacting.  You are a very caring person.  You always keep your eyes open.  You make sure and your family are always safe.  I am proud of you.  It sounds like you have a lot of your Dad in you.  

Usae that part of you to ex pess to your family what is and has been going on in thast house again and I bet this time they will believe you because you will not only have your strength but your Dads too to help you.

In addition, they will ssee all the examples that you explained.

Try it.

If f you need to just talk or need advice just email me at [e-mail]

Sincerely,

Erik  

Answer 3

What did your mother say when you and your siblings asked her to send these people away?  Did she respond to your concerns at all?

If the situation is genuinely as you describe it (and not exaggerated because of feelings that your mom is trying to replace your father), then I would suggest you contact child protective services.  Having people in your home openly threatening you without your mom intervening and having drug addicts and alcoholics coming and going at will is not a healthy environment for you or your younger siblings.   If your mother refuses to do anything about it, it is time to contact the authorities who can step in and require her to do so.  Children should never have to feel unsafe in their home.

Answer 4

you are NOT over reacting

call child services i'm pretty

sure if you call the

police they will say that they can't do anything

about it or go find someone you trust (an adult)

and tell them. maybe an aunt or uncle

cousin etc. etc.

Answer 5

It sounds like mom is depressed and would rather have bad men than no men. It is terrible when children have to suffers because of a parent's poor judgment.  Your mom needs some counseling to deal with the loss of your dad / her husband.

Answer 6

Tell your mom you love her and your siblings and it was bad enough that she made you grow up in this environment, but now that you are going to college, you just can't walk away and leave your siblings to fend for themselves. It's her job as the mother to protect her children from these people she is allowing in her house and around her children.

Either she kicks them out and makes sure they never come around anymore or you will be forced to call CPS and report the situation to them and let them handle the job she refuses to take care of. She isn't being a good mother and this has to stop NOW....TODAY!

It's your mother's job to keep you and your siblings safe and she is failing all of you. It will be hard for you to call CPS, but some body has to make your mother wake up and start taking proper care of her children.

Answer 7

Gosh, I am so sorry for you. Perhaps you could try talking to a counsellor or someobe about this matter...and then maybe something good will happen. Don't worry...evrything will turn out fine. Just keep faith! :)

Answer 8

This is a sad story. Your mom is clearly depressed and has let these guys take over for so long that she doesn't know how to get ird of them. With your other siblings in the house this could be a very potentially dangerous situation . You must take action immediately since your mom is not strong enough to do so at this point. You have to go to the police and file a restraining order against all of the individuals. Tell the officers that you feel unsafe and that these people are doing drugs and so forth. Do whatever you have to do even if it means telling another relative that your sibilings need to stay at there home until your mom can get this situation under control. You need to talk to your mom but do not tell her that you are planning to get a restraining order otherwise she may leak it to hr "friends". This is an unhealthy situation and you need to make sure that you all as kids have agood head on your shoulders and do not become "out of control kids".  

Answer 9

CAll the police. Seriously. Or DSS they shall help.