Am I wrong to hate his driving?

Question

My favorite family member is very "controlling" when behind the wheel of his car. When ever we go anywhere he insists on driving. He never gets in a accident, and he isn't really aggressive, but he goes too fast and gives us a constant running commentary about the other drivers. They are "crazy" or "idiots" or "we've got a kook coming up on us". I find this all a bit disconcerting. I'm usually not scared, but I have been known to close my eyes for long periods of time. He acts like he isn't doing anything wrong, that he is a good driver, a "defensive" driver. He gets upset and anxious if anyone says anything to him while he is driving. Other than refusing to ride with him, which hurts his feelings deeply, what can I do? Is it just me? Am I a scaredy-cat? You tell me please.

BTW, he is not elderly, but a bit past 50 years old.

Answer 1

when it comes to your safety if you're scared than who cares if you hurt his feelings about not wanting to drive with him.  Save your sanity he's got a bit of road rage and get another ride.

Answer 2

no you are not wrong. talk to him for your safety.no its not only you, i have an uncle who always slams on the breaks and i always gets nautious. whenever we tell him to go easy on the brakes he thinks hes the best driver and starts yelling that he doesnt slam on the brakes. you are not a scaredy cat.

Answer 3

Tell him he will understand if you explain to him how much you care about him and you just want to see him safe, he shall get it

Answer 4

No, it's for your safetly

Talk to him about your concerns

Answer 5

no accidents. thats good enough love. better than alot of the -so called safe drivers-

other than that hes a sensitive old bugga who has some deep rooted psychological issues which you cant help him with unless your a qualified psychiatrist.

no offence just speaking the truth.

Answer 6

Hey, man is a man is a man.  you wouldn't sleep with a little weeny boy would you?

Answer 7

I don't know about this family member of yours , but I can tell you that I have a problem with my girlfriend's driving , and she has a problem with my driving.

My girlfriend and I have agreed that we both have the same problem.

We're both scared of being in the passenger seat when someone else has the same habits that either one of us have.

We both have aggressive driving styles , and neither one of us are comfortable when the other drives.

Answer 8

Just Ride with Him. I think it does get annoying though. tell him to chill.

Answer 9

I wouldn't worry about his feelings. He doesn't seem to care that his driving is terrifying you and makes that known when you tell him it scares you. There is no reason he can't drive slower, keep a bit more distance between him and the car ahead, etc.

Tell him point blamk that you won't ride with him because he is a jerk behind the wheel and you don't want to be there when he has his first accident. It may be his last. He is a prime candidate for road rage and when that happens, all common sense goes out the window.

Answer 10

would you rather hurt his feelings and be alive to tell the story, or do you prefer the alternative??????????????

Answer 11

oh dang!!!!!

well i would just sit back and shut my mouth because you never know when he may have a seizure. so just calm down and no you are not a scaredy cat just crazy.

just tell who ever it is to take drivers ed.

but it will be fine...

your still alive.

Answer 12

Dear Suz - I have a similar situation with a BF.  He's had two minor accidents, and both were "I'll show you," type deals.  I can't and won't keep quiet when it comes to this subject.  Too many of my friends and family have died in car accidents, and once you have that bad feeling, then you're inside the car of someone whose in control of your life, it may be too late...

Better a hurt feeling than a dead body.  Seriously.  You make valid and appropriate points.  Honor that voice inside of you, please.