Am i a bad parent if..?

Question

my x husband always wants his girlfriend (which keep in mind is 17 and hes 24) to watch our little to year old while im at work during the week. He works off during the week and only gets to see her friday sat and sunday. But he wants her to watch her even when hes not around and when i tell him no i already have plans he starts getting mad and cussing me out and causing a scene. i use to let them watch her whenever but they started trying to get her to take my spot and make me look bad.So am i a bad mom if i dont want his girlfriend to watch her all the time?

Answer 1

No your not a bad Mom nor are you jealous you are watching out for your child's best interests. She is not of age there for you can't sue her if something happens. Find someone else anyone else a daycare or something.

You need to get a custody order and child support order to include these things. Like when he can and can't have visits and what he does and does not have say on. Watch your back and Good Luck with this

P.S. he may be your child's father but he is your ex for a reason and it may just be wanting to baby sitter your child. If it is the reason she really does not have enough morals nor does he to suggest such a thing.

Lisa

Answer 2

No, it means you are a good Mom because you want to spend time with your daughter too and not just pawn her off on somebody else. Furthermore, if she is only 17 and he is 24, it doesn't really sound like that will be a lasting relationship. When my son's Dad and I split up, it really bothered me that he had these girls that were never around long playing house with my baby. It just wasn't the environment I wanted him in... I didn't want him to think it was normal to see relationships come and go like that.

I made it a practice to not bring guys that I dated around him either until it was a substantial relationship.

Talk to your ex, tell him you want him to have a relationship with his daughter, but you need to be sure that this girl is really long term before she spends time alone with her. At this point, he should be there when your daughter is. If his girlfriend is still there in a year or so, then maybe you need to start including her more as long as she shows respect to you as the mother.

Good luck, I know it is a rough situation.

Answer 3

Absolutely not.  Shouldn't she be in high school or something anyways?!  Regardless, you have to be comfortable with who is watching your child.

I will be honest though, eventually he may find someone and settle down and you will have to learn how to be okay with your child being in the care of that person...  I'm a step mom, and my step daughter's mom was nuts at first and crazy jealous all the time.  It was so difficult.  I think more often than not she just behaved that way to spite my husband for being happy when she wasn't (which still makes me laugh because she was the one who cheated on him and left, but anyways..).  But I just dealt with her nonsense and continued to love and treat my step daughter as if she were my own, and eventually her mom learned to accept me, and be grateful that I was so good to her daughter.  I never wanted to replace her, I just wanted to have a good relationship with my step daughter.

If you have a reliable trustworthy babysitter to care for you child while you are at work, then there is no reason to switch over to this girl you hardly know.  He's probably just giving you grief to get a rise out of you.

**edit**

After i hit submit, I started to think more... I'd be afraid to leave HIM alone with your daughter, his gf is just a baby herself!  Get a lawyer and get a custody agreement and visitation contract in order.

Answer 4

As a mother too I can kinda understand this, I think YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER just by saying NO.  

Its simple if he can't be there to watch the child then No I wouldn't let the girlfriend watch bub.

It is not your x's gf job to look after his / your child.

Answer 5

No, you are not a bad parent!

You are using common sense.  It is your job to make sure the child is taken care of by a responsible person.  The child should not be in danger of abuse or neglect medically or physically.

I would not let another person take my place either.

Answer 6

No. You ARE THE MOTHER! And if they are going to do things to jeopardize you and your child's relationship then frankly I say they may just need to see that child even less then they already do.  

Answer 7

no! i agree with the first person. tell him to F*** off! thats your child and u need to be apart of his/her life!  

Answer 8

No way! She's your kid, tell them to f*** off!  

Answer 9

no your not, you know what's good for your kids and what is not

Answer 10

don't do it.    i suggest getting a professional baby sitter.    because 17 year olds aren't too professional if you know what i mean.   most dont really watch the kids.   they just watch the TV and eat all your food.  

the professional baby sitters actually do a quality job and you can trust them.  

Answer 11

being the macco guy i am with no fealings the man is allways rith no but seriusly your rith your not a bad parenth

Answer 12

h**l no!!!!!!!

jesus christ his GIRLFRIEND IS A KID HERSELF......ur a good mom for not trusting her with YOUR child :D...........17?!?!?! my god  

Answer 13

No and I don't blame you for refusing to let her watch your daughter.

Answer 14

noway!

she is your daughter, and the fact that she is only 17 makes things a little more difficult.

just say no, if a 17 year old is dating a 24 year old, she may already have some problems of her own, she doesn't need a baby in the mix.

plus-

shouldn't she be in school during the week?!

Answer 15

not at all. your the mom they cant take that away from you and they shouldnt try. your ex husband and get in a lot of trouble for dating this girl since she is under age. I would do the same thing. stick to your guns