Am i a b*****d for being close friends with a girl in a relationship?

Question

a while ago i met a girl who has become a very close friend of mine. she was at the time, and still is, dating a guy whom i knew before her and i loathe to an almost biblical extent. we spend a lot of time together as just the two of us, and flirt constantly (though in a joking way). i have no sexual feelings for this girl but recently a lot of people have been making derogatory comments about our relationship and accuse me of attempting to poison hers with her boyfriend. they are currently on the rocks (because he's an abusive prick mainly) and i'm getting abuse from his friends for it. am i a b*stard for just being her friend?

Answer 1

nope not at all i have lots of male friends simply because i enjoy there company more and my fiance understands this 2 there probably jealous

Answer 2

No. You are being a friend. It sounds like the relationship with her boyfriend isn't going to last much longer anyway.  She's going to need a friend.

Answer 3

His friends are biased 'cause obviously this guy sees you as a threat.

I can personally see their relationship breaking any time soon, and as you have no feelings for her, you won't date her and all the accusations will stop.

You aren't a b*****d at all.

In fact, I'd say you were a very respectable guy for being her friend regardless of abuse from her boyfriend and his friends.

Good on you :)

Answer 4

as long as your not bad mouthing him then your fine--she has to make her own decisions about him. There's nothing wrong with being her friend though..

Answer 5

u're not a b*****d, but her bf who's abusive is the b*****d. just keep a lil more distance or respect boundaries

Answer 6

if her boyfriend is bad for her tell her so.

Answer 7

absolutely not. there's nothing wrong with this friendship. the most common problem with opposite sexes being friends is the guy usually wants something more. since this is not the case here, there's nothing wrong. don't worry about your friends. it's none of their business.  

Answer 8

There's nothing wrong with being close friends. The only bad thing is that people get the wrong idea and it causes arguments. Just be there for your friend if she's going through a tough time with her relationship. To be honest, it seems to me that she'd be better off with you than her current boyfriend. x

Answer 9

Stay away from her. This is a no win situation for you. If you're wrong about how he treats her, then she will see you as the judgemental friend. If you are right then she will see you as the "told you so" condescending friend.

Her company is toxic. Stay away.

The boyfrined and his friends ultimately see you as a c**k blocker.

When I met my husband I had two Very special Guy friends. I made sure they met and went out with my husband all of us together. We all got along famously. To This day we stay in anout of contact with each other.

Answer 10

no...

he is probably a chav. (i hate chavs.)

but just stand up to him and his chav friends and they will d nothing unless there in a gang.

but it i still alrite for u 2 b friends with her if there is nothing goin on between you 2.

Answer 11

No keep being her friend If he is the way you say she needs a good friend and that guy needs to learn to deal with it. Sounds like you are a good friend quit doubting yourself you are doing the right thing. The world needs more of yous in it

Answer 12

Tell those people to mind their own business. I have a LOT of friends, including married women and kids. Sometimes people question those odd friendships that I have. But I know my intentions, and they know my intentions, so it's between us, and doesn't concern anyone else.

Answer 13

please, you're fine.

i truly and strongly believe in friendships of the opposite s*x that aren't sexual, they never had a problem with it before, just because they're having problems now that's why they're pointing the finger at you.

i think having close friends of the opposite s*x is not only ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, but it helps the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship grow, it gives them something to talk about when their with their significant other.  obviously if the boyfriend/boyfriend's friends get too jealous - thats their insecurities talking - because they should be able to trust that you and your friend are keeping your relationship strictly friendly.

s***w them. & good luck to you =)

Answer 14

Ur not a b*stard but i think tht u should stop flirting. U dont know how she feels. U dont want to lose the freindship with ur guy freind. Or just talk to her about whats been happening.

Answer 15

First off - I think you need to look up the definition of a b*****d.

But, if all your a being is a true friend and are not manipulating the fact, you aren't doing anything wrong by being there for your friend.

Ignore the other people, he is just upset because there on the rocks and is looking for someone to point the finger at (most don't like to look at themselves).

Good Luck!

Answer 16

Him being that way is because he does not feel stable enough with your friend to trust her. That is not your fault or hers but she needs to take it into her hands to tell the boyfriend that there is nothing going on and he needs to lay off. It's not a bad thing to be jealous, you just shouldn't be jealous over nothing.

Answer 17

yea....you can only decide it by looking at her bf's half.

do it lightly ;)

help me pls

Answer 18

Not at all. His friends just assume the worst. If your not helping her cheat on her boyfriend, then it's completely fine for you to flirt with her and hangout. Flirting is innocent. So no, your not a b*stard for just being her friend. It sounds like she needs to dump her boyfriend. Ignore the other people because they aren't worth your time.  

Answer 19

30 years ago, I was in the same situation you're in now.  Even though I loved her very much, I stopped seeing her once she started dating. After they were married, I continued my friendship with her.  We're still friends now. I think you need to give them the space they need to work through their relationship.  You are getting in their way.  Let them figure out what they want.  If she needs you, she'll call. There's plenty of time to resume the friendship after she's settled into her new relationship.

Answer 20

I wouldn't say so, they are just jumping to conclusions. Friends, sometimes, need to just mind they own business. Unless, she's making you feel uncomfortable, you're fine. On the other hand, make sure she's not using you as a "block", or a pawn. This can become a problem later on, her dude might feel the need to confront you, even though you are innocent. Be real with yourself, keep your feelings in your pocket, and **** the haters, that's waht it comes down to. GL

Answer 21

No. The worlds needs more friends, not fewer.

Answer 22

yes, but you seem ok with it...

Answer 23

Don't burden yourself with what those people think and say.  You and she know the truth.  And I think that if the relationship with the prick ends, you will be attracted to one another because of your friendship now, and you two will become an item.  In the meantime, enjoy having a friend.

Answer 24

no, you're just her really good friend :D

Answer 25

No, you aren't because you aren't doing anything wrong. It's ok for a guy and a girl to be close friends. It sounds like she's going to break up with that guy, so just wait around and help her through it.

Answer 26

ok those two didn't evan bother answering the question well no your not but they blame you as people don't like blaming there friends or themselves  

Answer 27

No.

If you are just friends with this girl, and it is sincerely nothing more, there is nothing wrong with it. Even if you don't like this guy she is with you have to remember that she does - and if they are "on the rocks", as a friend you can be supportive but also try to give her some personal space.

If you and this girl have a good friendship, does it really matter what everyone else thinks?

Answer 28

yes, you are

Answer 29

if you know he is a d**k to her then what do you care what people think?   If you really like this girl then be a true friend and s***w what people say.  Be a man.

Answer 30

no, but you would be if you f**ked her, Go on!! be a b*****d!! Go on my son!! atleast then you can face the abuse from his friends with a smile on your face

Answer 31

nope... hes a b*stard for not letter her have close friends.....