Am i an bad mother?I really feel bad abt myself.

Question

My son has some fluid oozing out from the belly button since the cord fall off.Now he is 13 months old but still the fluid is not stopping.His pedriatrician told me that he have UMBILICAL GRANULOMA.I remember when he was 7 weeks old still the cord dint fall off and i to moved the cord round and round so that it will disconnect and fall off and it came out but i dint apply any force and did it very gently and now iam feeling very bad that why i dint allow the cord to fall off by itself why i did like that?but what can i do the cord was not falling off and i dint give my baby bath till 7 weeks.As this is my first baby and no experience i did like that ,iam really a bad mother.Doctor applied some silver nitrate still the fluid is coming.And was going through few websites and they mentioned that if it doesnt get treated with silver nitrate minor surgery is the only treatment.Is that true?i dont want my 13 months old baby to go through surgery iam really nervous abt that.I feel sorry sorry for my poor little son b'coz of me he has to face the problems and iam really ashamed of myself.

Answer 1

your really shouldn't feel ashamed or bad at all. my baby is 7 weeks now and if she had her cord still there i would have done what you did too. 7 weeks is a long time for that thing to still be in there. my advise is to stop focusing on the past. and stop beating yourself up. your son will be fine. its a minor problem. enjoy him and enjoy your life-its too lovely and short not to!  if your doc wants to try the silver nitrate, just keep using it. he may not need surgery. your doc knows best, and you do too!  

Answer 2

what you are feeling is perfectly normal. you didn't do anything to intentionally cause him problems. this is your first child you are going to do things that later you are going to wish you hadn't done. you are going to have these feelings that you are doing things wrong. he will be fine don't worry. sound like to me you are doing a great job.

Answer 3

If anything, you are being a good mother by taking him to the doctor and getting this treated. Stop beating yourself up.

Answer 4

Kids are resilient. You didn't do anything wrong. You're a good mom for taking him to the Dr and following the Dr's orders. And many babies have surgery at very young ages, so even if your child does need surgery it doesn't mean your a bad parent.

What you can do is learn from this experience. You don't want to be having guilty feelings about bigger things later on in your child's life. Use the internet - read up on parenting and come up with a game plan. Having a parent that hates herself will not help your child to grow up happy & healthy. ( I know from experience - I had a parent like that.) Become the sort of person you want your child to become someday. That's the best thing you can do for your baby...and yourself.

Nobody's perfect, but you shouldn't fill your life with regrets either!

Answer 5

You are not a bad mother and you should stop beating yourself up.  Your son will be fine and your being concerned for him is a sign that you are a good mother.  You were doing what you thought was the best thing at the time.  You cannot be expected to know everything.  You are doing fine.  Good luck with everything.

Answer 6

Take it easy!  You're not a bad mother!  

Umbilical Granuloma was not caused by you!  It's not uncommon at all and is generally easily treated.  You didn't do anything wrong.  

Follow up with your baby's doctor as recommended.