Am i been unfair not letting my boyfriend be down the foot end of bed while i in labour?

Question

I am getting induced on Tuesday and my boyfriend wants to experiance seeing the baby coming out i have tryed to put him off by showing pics on net but he still wants to be down that end, i would prefere it f he not because i think he will be put off me after the birth do you think im been unfair?

Answer 1

Yes, you are being unfair.  Men already feel out of a the loop a bit and a little disconnected from the baby by the fact that they are not experiencing the pregnancy and the baby moving in your belly, etc, so this is one way they feel more a part of the whole thing.  It would hurt him more to not be there than it would hurt you for him to be there.  After all it is his child and I feel that he has a right to be there.

ETA: any guy who would not want to have s*x with you after seeing your carry and give birth to HIS baby is a jerk, it's better you know this about him now than later, IF in fact he does react this way.

Answer 2

I felt the same as you, thankfully my husband  didn't have any burning desire to watch.  Instead, he held my legs for me while i pushed.  Later he told me that there wasn't any way to avoid seeing it.  It didn't put him off me at all.  :)

Good luck!!

Answer 3

No you arent...but also know that not very many men would ever want to be at the foot of the bed to see their child being born. I think that you are very lucky that he wants to be apart of the process...I also think that if he honestly loves you he's not going to be put off after the birth

Answer 4

I've watched all 4 of my kids coming out, and I still have no problem wanting to get busy with my wifey.

Answer 5

Hun why ?

It was the most amazing experience my hubby said he ever had and he seen our twins born by C section and they let him see everything he said he never noticed 'anything' all he seen was his babies been taken out my tummy, personally i think well i'm not being funny he has seen it all before and its his baby ...

Answer 6

Is it his baby?let me tell you there will be so many people in that room that it won't make a difference once you get in there.I worried about the same thing and let me tell you it takes alot more than that to turn a man off from those!!!after the birthing classes I told my husband that if he never saw it the same way again, I would understand. He told me he kinda liked them himself!lol.It is such a miracle that it will bring you closer and he will always be grateful to have shared the experience with you.And he will respect you for being so tough and won't be able to fathom how you did it.And if he's your coach, he will be holding your legs and concentrating on you.the doctor will be in the position he's speaking of!

Answer 7

its his baby, and he should be allowed to see it being born.... He wont be put off you. He'll have a new respect for you because you gave him a child.  

Answer 8

I don't think it's particularly unfair if it's going to make you feel uncomfy. But if he says that it won't put him off then let him. You should trust him enough by now if you're having a baby together! Get him to stand by the side of your bed and hold your hand, where he'll probably be more worthwhile!!

And congratulations, by the way.

Answer 9

Some guys are really stupid when it comes to these things. But most will just be so overwhelmed by the birth. Does he know what he's getting into? Ask him if he won't mind seeing you p**p yourself while you're squeezing his child out. =D  I doubt he'll be put off, though. He'll be too in awe.

Also, to everyone who argues, "It's his baby, he's entitled to watching its dramatic exit from your v****a": Um, shut up! That's creepy. The female body isn't a vessel for delivering goods. Her body, her pain, her decision.  

Answer 10

No, that's truly up to you. If you don't want him to see that, then he shouldn't pressure you.

Answer 11

No, you aren't. It's your body. I know people who haven't even let their husbands in the ROOM, let alone at the foot of the bed. Do whatever makes YOU comfortable.

Answer 12

Be glad hes not like a lot of guys who run away from being a parent.. If he really wants to see i think you should let him. I saw both of mine and its the sweetest, nastiest thing possible. If he gets queasy easy, he may hit the floor but if not he will be AMAZED at seeing his child come into the world.  

Answer 13

Sort of. You are worried about his reaction, but many men have witnessed the birth of their children and have gone on to father more with the same woman.  But it isn't his issue, it is yours.

It might help you to think of the NOW, the imminent process of giving birth and try to be happy that he wants to be involved. It isn't like dad gets to stand there and does nothing while he waits and watches. He's supposed to be there for you, your partner, your coach.  My dh held my hand during the contractions, held my leg as I pushed, etc. That's his role in the birthing process.

However, if it really, REALLY bothers you, to the point where it'd be a distraction for you while you give birth, then he shouldn't.

Answer 14

You may not think so now, but during your time in the hospital you will lose all sense of modesty.  I'm not sure how it happens, it's sort of gradual, but by the end of it you won't care who's down there.  My Husband was in the room with me during our son's birth and he was down there to see everything (let me say that I'm crazy shy.  I used to change in the showers for gymnastics during school, when I was younger).  You'll have doctors and nurses poking and prodding you everywhere so you get a bit immune to who's seeing what.  Anyway, I wish you could have seen his face when our son was born!  We had no idea what the s*x of our baby was, and I couldn't really see anything.  My husband looked up with his face full of wonder and said, "It's a boy!"  I'll never forget that.  Anyway, later later on, he did tell me it was the grossest thing he's ever seen but even still, he plans to be in the delivery room when this baby is born.  Also, you have to wait at least 6 weeks after the baby is born to have s*x again, and by that time he certainly won't be thinking about how the delivery was, he'll be thinking, "I haven't had s*x in 6 weeks!"  

Just play it by ear.  I don't think he'll be put off by it, he seems very curious which is great (I don't think my husband was, actually).  And once you're in there I don't think you'll care either way.  

Answer 15

A little, I mean it takes two to make a baby... Just let him see the baby!