Am i being un reasonable?

Question

Am I being un reasonable?

Just want to ask peoples advice on this matter because I’m not sure whether I’m over reacting, being un reasonable or whether I am in the right.

Just found out I am 5 weeks pregnant so we very excited but my partner has informed me he wants a crosser (off road motor bike - not legal).

He has come across one for £600 and today went the bank and got a loan for it, I went up the wall saying wasn’t having him get a loan for a bike when there are more important things to pay for at the moment and he'd be paying off the loan for 3 years!!!!!!....for a stupid bike!

Said I would lend him the money as I can afford it and can pay me back in 3 months. so he has given the loan back. But when I have thought about it I want him to grow up and start being more responsible. (he's 21 I am 26, so I do realise he's still young and I do try to allow him still to live his life)

Had blazing row about it, my points were if he had an accident on the bike and injure or even kill himself I would be left without a father for my baby.

Also other points if he injures himself he might be out of work then we would struggle for money with the baby. Another reason is the impact on our house in regards to bike taking up space, and him spending time on bike and not me and baby.

Also neighbours complaining due to noise of bike (we in rented accommodation so can’t afford to annoy the neighbours) also amount of dirty clothes to be washed after going on the bike which would be left up to me. Also its illegal I have never done anything illegal so unsure what punishment he would get if he was caught.

His argument is that he won’t be on it all time, and he's a very good rider so he won’t have an accident.

Ahhhhh am I over reacting because of my hormones, or am I right to say what I’m saying, heads all over so not sure whether it’s just me over reacting.

Can I have honest opinions please...tell me over reacting if I am!!!!

Answer 1

You have more important things to spend money on than bikes...especially illegal bikes!

He does seem to lack maturity.

Maybe an older trusted friend could offer some advice.

Why not try Relate together?

Answer 2

Geez, if you have to go any further than "it's illegal" then what else is there to say?  You need to weigh the well being of your family as a whole versus his 21 yr old fantasy to live above the law. Ultimately it's up to you what you do from there if he chooses this bike over all else. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

You are being sensible..he is however, just 21 and is still very young. He is going to want many things apart from the bike. You are at the age where you probably want to settle down now. If it isnt the bike it could be a sports car, or other stuff to impress his mates. You are at different places and I cant honestly see your relationship lasting too long....sorry

Answer 4

I see where you're coming from regarding the extra cost and him not being around and stuff, but I also think hormones could be playing a part as well!

just because he has a bike doesnt mean hes going to neglect your baby or anything - he has to have an outlet or something to give him a break from being around the baby 24/7 - just as you will!

xx

Answer 5

If your starting a family together surely he should be thinking about buying a family car......driving lessons if he hasn't got a license already.

Answer 6

let him have his bike and take out life insurance on him.

Answer 7

He needs to get his priorities right ....you and the unborn baby must come first. Try to make him see your point of view. Having a row will not solve anything, only make him more determined to get the bike... Good luck :-)

Answer 8

You're right.  Good luck trying to talk sense to him.  Talk about priorities.

Perhaps a compromise of some sort?