Am i doing it right with my 10 year old daughter?

Question

my daughter thinks im strict and im not sure if im doing this right i let her play out but she struggles with school work so i say stay in twice a week and il teach you some maths and english she gets a bit upset with this i dont ask a lot keep her room tidy help out somtimes and when i give her a time to be in she somtimes a bit late and i have to go looking for her i like her to have a routine and know right and wrong am i wrong or is this ok

Answer 1

I think that you should have her stay in for 30 min each day and learn for a little will. Then you could let her go and play for the rest of the time. If she is out and you want her to be home a  time give her a watch and explain the exact time you want her to be home. She is just a child and if she were to have her room a little dirty I don't think that you she tell her to clean it for that. If you think so though have her clean before she goes out side and plays so it like a reward for doing something right.

Answer 2

If you have to go looking for her you are too permissive.

In this day and age it's dangerous not to know where

your kids are.

Believe me, if I go looking for my daughter,

she will get her backside warmed when she gets home.

Answer 3

i think you are right you are not asking too much of her you just want what is best stick to your rules x

Answer 4

all kids do that keep on doing what yr doing and she'll ccatch on

Answer 5

Yes your doing right by your daughter. The ages 9-12 are very formative years of how a child will shape out in life. You have to set boundaries, guidelines and expecations for your daughter. If she crosses the boundaries, doesn't meet up to t the guidlines etc then you have to discipline her. Of course she thinks your strict; its your job, remember your her parent not her friend and in time I woulld hope she will understand your doing this because you want whats best for her.

Answer 6

well done you are going the right things

Answer 7

u don't need your daughters approval.

u raise her the way u see fit. she is a normal kid who wants to play all day long, your job is to say "no, its time for homework, cleaning your room, putting dishes away, etc"

Answer 8

get a reward system too.

A DVD she wants at the end of the week or month for keeping room clean or homework all on time. It can't all be "love comes out of the wallet" so have the rewards varied - family trip to zoo, etc

Answer 9

personally i dont think you are strict enough. if she is only 10 and coming home late and you have to go looking for her, then she doesn't go out for 2 weeks and she studies 1 hour a day during those two weeks. if she gets an attitude about that, then she stays in her room for 2 hours a day studying. she needs to know that you are serious and that your rules are how she is gonna live by because in a few years when she is a teenager she will try to get away with a lot more so i think you need to put your foot down now. if she thinks she can walk all over you now just wait til she is 14, 15, 16  it wont be good. i know as well as you that you love your daughter, she will too one day and trust me she will thank you some day for being strict and keeping her out of trouble. good luck

Answer 10

GIRL THATS HOW YOU DOOO IT that exactly perfect she needs to learn priority and most importantly her school work..

the outsides going nowhere and the kids out there playing EVERYDAY probably arent either..

soooo youre doing just whats right and what other parents need tooo doo..

too h**l with let her go play let he be  child she will be an aldult longer as well as a young woman....

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Answer 11

Firstly, if you are serious about teaching your child English and Mathematics - learn about punctuation first perhaps?

and don't worry about being too strict at her age - kids of strict parents tend to achieve more than kids with lax or abusive parents do

Answer 12

You are too lax with her.  

Room in some type of order (ok, maybe not **** and spam, but let's get the clothes off the floor) teaches her to respect her things.

Being in on time - she is WAAAYYYY too young to not be in on time - what are you going to do when she is 15?  In on time or you don't go out.  Period.  You should NOT have to go looking for her!

I also have to tutor at the end of the day.  When we started, but kids all balked.  They wanted explanations as to why we had to do it, complained about it and even took turns yelling at me.  You have to remain steady here.  She is just testing you.  Tell her this is your decision and if you have to wait all night for her to be respectful and do her work, you will.  Don't try to teach her when she is being nasty.  Just wait and tell her she can do the vacuuming until she is ready to do her work.  She will stop the nonsense soon enough.  Don't lose your cool.  

If you don't expect something from her, you won't get anything from her.  Raise the bar and don't apologize for doing it!

Congratulations on doing what is RIGHT and best for your daughter and what will teach her to be a strong woman and teach her to reject the nonsense some others will try to draw her into!

Answer 13

Discipline is what makes a young lady develop into a respectful adult.  Dont stop what you are doing - she is on the right path.

Think about it, when you were her age did you agree with everything your parents made you do?  I didn't.  Now that I am older (31) I see that they did it for a reason - because they loved me and they knew what was best.

Keep it up and someday when you least expect it, she will call and thank you for your guidance.

Believe me, my father had no idea who was on the other end of the phone when I called.

Good luck!

Answer 14

Actually, if it where me....I'd be tougher!! Kids are ALWAYS going to think that you're being too hard on them, it's like their "job" to push the envelope.  If she's not doing well in school, I'd make her stay in all week.....I make my daughter do her homework right after school or she doesn't go out at all.  If I had to actually go "look" for her, she wouldn't be allowed out for a month!! Good luck hunnie....being a parent isn't easy!! :)

Answer 15

u are right.

Answer 16

stick with it. you're doing right.

Answer 17

I hear that children actually like boundaries. Maybe you should do it more. Teach her about God though for she longs for this and it is your parental duty besides.

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Answer 18

sounds like she's doing her job and you're doing yours. Don't let her make you feel guilty.

Answer 19

You are doing everything absolutely right! If she gets upset, remind her you don't ask much from her.

But a little tip with the school work, make it fun. Don't just sit her down and say "Okay this is this and that is that". Make games out of Math and English. To help her in reading, start a mother-daughter book group between the two of you. You both read a novel, one chapter a night, take turns reading. In math make the story-problems fun. Have her create some! Story-problems will make the Math a whole lot easier.

But other than that your doing fine! Schedule some times when the two of you can do some fun things like watch a movie or go out for ice cream. Things like that as a reward for doing good!

Good luck!

Answer 20

You don't seem too strict to me...

Answer 21

Sounds fairly normal to me. She's 10 yrs old after all, she needs to know her boundaries. If she doesn't learn now she'll be h**l on earth when she gets into her teens.

Answer 22

I think you are doing absolutley right.  Shes just testing the boundries (as all kids do).  Keep going!

Answer 23

Sounds like you are pretty easy-going.

She is ten and if you were strict with her it would be for her own good. All kids think their parents are strict if they don't get what they want.

You're there to be her parent not her friend - so, yeah, give her boundaries. It's your job.

Good luck.

Answer 24

She's 10; she should do as she's told. Being late and having to be fetched in should have sanctions. BUT! be careful she doesn't see extra school work as a punishment for not being particularly bright. If the school sets homework, she should be doing it. If she's struggling beyond that, you should be talking to the school to find out why and where she's behind. Early bedtimes and reinforcement such as reading together should sort most of it out.

Answer 25

I would be more careful of how you phrase your question next time. There are laws against "doing it right with my 10 year old daughter."

Answer 26

You sound like your a good mom to me!!!

Answer 27

I'd be even MORE strict with her. If she's not back on time, she doesn't go out to play for a week, if she dose it again, she gets a spanking. Really you should not have to go chase her down.

Answer 28

You have to be strong and set limits.  Stop acting like you are sorry you are parenting your kid!

Answer 29

Your not wrong your doing a great job.

Answer 30

She may not understand but you just wnat what is best for her . Tell her you love her enough to care where she is.

Answer 31

it is called a belt scare her with it