Question:

Am i doing wrong, i dont know what to do?

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when i was 6 i caught my mother cheating on my father and when they were getting a divorce i decided to live with my father and my brother decided to live with my mother. when i was 9 i looked for my mother and we began to talk for only a few months then when i was 12 and 15 i did the same i looked for her and we only talked for a month or two, at that time she already remarried and had children with her new husband. when i moved to new york when i was 15 i never heard from her again, when i was 16 i reverted to islam alhumdullilah got married at 17 gave birth at 18 now i am 21, when i was 19 my aunt got in contact with her and i talked to her and i was confused to start talking to her again cuz she never looked for me ever since my parents got a divorce, my father has always taken care of me and i feel that it would be betrayal even though my father never talked bad about my mother or ever forbade me to talk to her. i feel nothing towards my mother no love no anger but i was reading in the book called the ideal muslimah and in the quran that allah dislikes those who break up kinship and that it is haram even though my family may not be muslim. my question is do i have to talk to my mother even though i havent heard from her in years even before i reverted to isalm? i mean i know nothing about this lady nor she knows nothing about me. its been years

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  1. In my opinion you should talk to your mom. I think that you should try and stay in contact with your whole family. And maybe you should meet your mom's other family too. You never know you might like them. But if your family can't except you for who you are now then you have to keep on trying. But try and if not then try harder and harder until they know how much you want to be able to talk to them and keep in contact. I'm praying that everything will turn out well between you and your family inshallah.  


  2. You should at least acknowledge and talk to her. About anything, your recent revert, your life, views on this or that. She's your mother, and I'm sure she would understand. Maybe she too have "missed" you, but shy to approach you because she has remarried?

    At least talk to her, maybe InsyaAllah, overtime, you'll get use to being around her again.

    ~~Hey Thanks for being brave to share your "life story".

    u reverted at 16?wow that's young, what made you do it?

  3. First of all,I am so sorry about your childhood.

    Yes it is a sin to break off ties with family in Islam. Even when the family members are not muslims or mean. You must remain in contact with them and love them.

    You should get to know your mother and love her no matter what. This might give you all lost time you spend away from your mother

  4. it is a good  decision that u reverted to islam at that age , u should get in contact with ur mother again no matter she was a muslim or not because obeying parents specially the mother is the most important duty to islam after after obeying god so u have to have a relationship with ur mother and listen to every thing she tells u except if she tries to make u get away from god and believe me it is never too late and I'm sure she loves u even if u don't (although I'm sure somewhere inside u , u love her)  

  5. MashaAllaah, I'm so happy that you have found your way to your Lord  despite all of the hardships you've faced growing up. I know how you feel about kinship, What you can do is to rest your heart in peace call her one more time give her yet another chance to mend your relationship with her.

    Give her a call and see how she is doing tell her you where concerned and you wanted to know how life is going for your dear mother.

    This might not be easy but believe me you will feel soo good after words.

    After that try to call her at least once every two weeks and say hi mom. That would mean a lot to her, plus you are full-filling your religious obligation.

    I was somewhat in similar situation with my aunt who raised me, but she did pretty bad stuff that I think qualify me for cutting her and her family off, I do not feel like goin into details in public. But since your mother never hurt you perpersonall you owe that much to her.

    InshaAllaah I hope everything goes well for you.

    salaams

  6. You are nothing wrong. Bur you have talk with her bcoz she is your mother, and you have pass islams message to her.  Every muslim have to pass message of Allah to their freind to save from h**l fire, it is your mother you too

  7. yes u should since all these u haven't talk u should get to know each other

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