Am i going to loose my baby?

Question

I did the most selfish thing and i will regret it for the rest of my life. i smoked through my pregnancy . my baby girl is now a month old and i'v found out that she is at risk to sids and all other things because of it. Im so scared of loosing her. She currently has a real stuffy nose and has had it for 3 weeks now. the doctor says its a cold cause she sneezes and coughs with it plus other family members have had it. but now im frightend its got something to with smoking because she has had it for so long. im treating it with nasal drops, humidifier, and nasal sucker. I dont want to loose her. I know what i did is wrong but i do love her. the doctors say its a cold and its not on her chest. the snuffling in the nose sounds worse when she is feeding . its not to bad when she is sleeping. Have I lost my sweetheart girl because of my stupid pathetic self. Im so scared of waking up and finding her not breathing. If i loose her i have nothing and its all thanks to my worthlessnes as a mother.

Answer 1

Stop beating yourself up, first of all.  You need to stay strong, emotionally and physically, in order to give your daughter the optimum care she needs now.

I'm not saying it was a bright idea to smoke during pregnancy, but what's happened has happened.  Do the next best thing and stop smoking now, so your baby is not exposed to second-hand smoke from your hair, clothing etc.  You are not worthless; you have an addiction to nicotine.  Some say that addiction is stronger than heroin and crack-cocaine combined, and as a former addict and smoker, I am inclined to believe it.  Get help; it's out there.

I think you will be amazed at how tough and resilient a small baby can be.  Just keep doing what you're doing; keep the air inside your home as clean as possible (air purifier comes to mind), to avoid further nasal irritation.  Have doctors told you she is at high risk for SIDS?  If so, would it be possible to get one of those machines that monitor breathing and heart rate, so that you will be alerted if things start to go wrong?

Take care, and like I said, do the next best thing.  I highly recommend the drug Chantix and a website called QuitNet (for support).

EDIT- I just read your other questions, and regret being so kind in my answer to this one.

You willingly stayed at a friend's house where some woman was smoking in front of your baby, and didn't leave?  Who the h**l stays at a friend's house (several times) with a brand new baby, anyway?

Now you are saying that you have been smoking throughout your entire pregnancy.  Something is definetely fishy here.

I wouldn't say you're a rotten mother, but you've obviously got some issues.  Particularly with honesty.  Quitting smoking is just the tip of the iceberg.  Get mental help, too.

Answer 2

You need to stop being so hard on yourself, I have friends that smoked throughout their pregnancies and their babies are just fine. I don't even smoke, therefore didn't do it when I was pregnant, but my younger daughter would get stuffed up noses and it wasn't unusual for it to last awhile - though it may not be a cold, it sounds more like allergies but I'm not a doctor so I can't say for sure. If you aren't satisfied with the doctor's assessment of the stuffy nose being a cold then consult another doctor. It gets worse during feeding because she has to breath harder through her nose when she swallows.

I never heard of smoking increasing the risk of SIDS though so maybe they just put a connection there but also if your child does die of SIDS you can't say it was because of your smoking when SIDS can happen to any baby without reason. My ex's sister died of SIDS when she was four months old, her mother didn't smoke, do drugs, or drink during the pregnancy and every pre-natal visit and even doctor's visits after she was born was perfectly normal is not above normal and yet she still died. There was an increased risk in my kids because their father also had a sister who died of SIDS just before she was two months old but all my kids are alive.

Even I defied the odds of survival as an infant, I was born 9 weeks early and had sleep apnea for the first year or so after I was born (and my parents couldn't afford a sleep apnea monitor). I also had constant ear infections and had only 10% of my hearing until I was two. And my mother smoked while she was pregnant with me. You can never tell what the future will bring and you shouldn't let the worry ruin your self worth.

Answer 3

Your not a worthless mother - as its obvious you care about your little girl or you wouldnt be taking the time to post this on here asking for advice.

I dont think her symptoms are from you smoking during pregnancy as it just sounds like a cold.

But smoking when pregnant is selfish as you are responsible for another life relying on you and can cause problems.

You dont smoke round her do you? She will be fine as its just a cold iyou could take her to the doctors if your worried about it?

Answer 4

No! My friend (2 of them actually) smoked through their pregnancies and one even regularly drank a beer! The babies are fine now 9 months and like 15  months I think! She should be fine. All babies are at risk for sids! Do some research you will see how you can decrease the chances of sids!

Answer 5

The first thing I would do if I were you would be to stop smoking! Maybe a little scare is what you need, because this addiction you have isn't good for you or the baby!

Now, there is a CHANCE. There isn't a guarantee that she's going to pass away of SIDS. Who knows, she might grow up to be a really healthy, beautiful woman. For now, just keep a close eye on her, stop that stupid habit, and love her like there is no tomorrow.

Answer 6

I think your beating yourself up way to much.  That said I dont think you are going to lose your baby due to what doctors call a cold.  Just keep a close eye on her and love her.  She will be OK.  

Answer 7

If the dr says its just a cold then it is probably just a cold i think you are just putting yourself through a bad guilt trip. She is probably going to be just fine. keep a eye on her when shes sleeping. good luck

Answer 8

your right, it was very selfish.

''I know what i did is wrong but i do love her.''

didnt you love her enough in utero to stop smoking?

that aside, yes she is more at risk, but this is most likely a common cold.

''Have I lost my sweetheart girl because of my stupid pathetic self''

you are planning her funeral before anything has happened. you are never going to enjoy this baby and this baby takes her cues from you, so if you are stressed, so is she.

treat the cold, get her better, make her happy.

just as a side note, i know you have posted similar questions like this, which leads me to toy with idea that you are looking for people to tell you that you are a wonderful mother, this along with the wording of this question.

and also, i know i'll get thumbs down, but i gave my opinion in the least offensive way i knew possible.

Answer 9

She will be fine. I have a 6 week old that has been very stuffy for the last few weeks. Actually since she was born. I have been using saline drops, the nose sucker and a humidifier and it's not getting better and I did NOT smoke at all and never have. My doctor just says to keep at it and it is perfectly normal. It's the summer and if you're around Air conditioning sometimes it causes stuffy noses, congestion etc..I know it does that to my hubby and me too. As long as she is feeding fine she will be a-ok.

OH and my mom smoked her whole pregnancy with my brother and me. I am 23 with 2 healthy children and my brother is 6 and doing wonderful. People make mistakes, but your daughter will be fine. Just keep loving her and taking the good care of her that you are! :-)

Answer 10

When  my daughter was pg at 18 she watched videos about smoking. I wish this was a manditory thing. She didnt smoke anyways, but it showed how the whole sack that the baby is in is filled with smoke and that is their only  air supply. I think this would make people think so much more. If you havent stopped smoking yet, please do, for your baby health.

Answer 11

I hope you are no longer smoking because second hand smoke can also effect your baby.  Just make sure you are doing everything else you can to prevent SIDS (sleeping on her back, etc.) to help ease your mind.  When you become a parent you worry constantly about them and everything you do effects them.  It is so hard not to think you have done something wrong that will effect the baby.  I know I checked my daughter was breathing every hour when she was a newborn. Just don't let that constant worry ruin the time you spend with your child. Try not to be so hard on yourself.  

I'm sure the cold will go away in time and it sounds like you are doing everything you can to comfort her.  

Answer 12

Honey, NO! Quitting smoking is hard, even during pregnancy. I was told for the first 5 months of my pregnancy to NOT try to quit smoking because I was having a very rough time, that the stress of those things PLUS the stress of quitting smoking would be more harmful on my baby than if I smoked.

You did not make your baby get a cold. It HAPPENS, EVEN this young. Smoking while pregnant DOES raise the chances of SIDS, but no one even knows WHAT causes SIDS. You have not lost her, she is right there, plain as day, and there is nothing saying you will ever lose her! Plus, the damage is when smoke is breathed in, she could not breathe it in while she was in utero, but right now is a different story, so make sure you are not smoking around her.

Along with that, newborns respiratory system is still immature and they DO have a stuffy noses alot and make strange sounds when they breathe, not because of anything that you did, just because its all still brand new. If they did not get out all of amniotic fluid out of her lungs her chest will sound very congested and she will cough alot and it will sound like a productive cough.

I am sorry, but I HAVE to suggest this... but please go get checked out for postpartum depression. You are being very hard on yourself and it SEEMS (Just through the words in your question) that you may have it. There is nothing wrong with that, it doesn't make you anything less, but there is help available. You should be enjoying being a new mommy and be enjoying your daughter while she is a baby (because all too soon she wont be little anymore) not beating yourself up like this.  

Answer 13

WOW Seriously your not a worthless mother!!! I'm sure you are a wonderful mother!! I know I'm the best mom I could possibly be and the best I can be is wonderful. and I smoked during my pregnancy too. My son is a 10 1/2 month old very healthy active happy brilliant boy! Since having him I have quit and I am sad that I couldn't while I was pregnant but its friggen hard!! and you can't use anything to help you quit. and when it comes down to it you have to decide between the mental and physical stress of quitting or cutting back as much as you can!!

seriously some losers smoke crack while they are pregnant1 cut yourself some slack, your baby's going to ow up to be a healthy smart child.....now breath

OMG that is the most stupid thing I have heard in a long time! the sac your baby's in doesn't fill with smoke, it is filled with amniotic fluid. Your lungs fill with smoke then it transfers the smoke to your blood, and your blood distributes it through out your body..... your lungs don't fill with smoke then transfer the smoke to the sac your baby's in duhhhhhhh..........

Answer 14

Well, she could be allergic to the smoke. It would be good to stop smoking anyways even if it's not what's bothering her so much. You want her to be healthy, don't you? My parents smoked and I was so afraid while growing up that I was going to breathe in too much second hand smoke and get lung disease. It happens often. Please stop smoking and give yourself a longer life, along with your baby girls.

Answer 15

i don't think you are a worthless mother, or that you are going to loss her, i would listen to your doctor, since you are still very worried maybe look in to getting a second opinion? if its not in her chest that is a good thing, maybe see your Doctor and find out if it is an allergy and thats why its lasting so long?